Any auctioneer will tell you that the whole point is to get people's competitive juices flowing so that they part with more money than they would otherwise. So, essentially, the school holding the auction is leveraging the worst traits of its parents to benefit itself the most. Frankly, I congratulate the schools for bending avarice, greed, one-upmanship, self-centeredness, ostentation, and pride to positive use. Making bidding anonymous would defeat the whole point, and would no doubt severely diminish auction revenues.

I also applaud the people who donate to their schools without making a big show of it. That is how I prefer to do it myself. But a school has to have multiple approaches to fundraising using a variety of motivators to ensure that they are not leaving any money on the table.

I know why the others do it. They are friends of mine. Several of us decided to be a little more classy and opt out of the show.

Anonymous wrote:

I think my attitude is much better than some on this board.

I disagree. I am the former big public donor who now does it privately. People get into these bidding wars to prove that they can and to show how much money they can spend. Geez, I never once used any of the items I won. The whole think is kind of sickening.

Maybe that is why you did it but you can't assume the same of others. If you didn't use the items that is just wasteful. You could have gifted or donated them.

Anonymous wrote:

I think my attitude is much better than some on this board.

I disagree. I am the former big public donor who now does it privately. People get into these bidding wars to prove that they can and to show how much money they can spend. Geez, I never once used any of the items I won. The whole think is kind of sickening.

Maybe that is why you did it but you can't assume the same of others. If you didn't use the items I hope you put them to good use in another manner.

I think my attitude is much better than some on this board.

I disagree. I am the former big public donor who now does it privately. People get into these bidding wars to prove that they can and to show how much money they can spend. Geez, I never once used any of the items I won. The whole think is kind of sickening.

So you are saying the whole thing is an elaborate scheme to dodge taxes?

This is one of the problems that I have with the whole annual fund and auction fundraisers. Charge the full tuition. None of us should be getting tax deductions for our kids private schools. It has always bothered me.

Do you all feel the same way about charity auctions? Or just school auctions?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Schools can give parents numbers to use for bidding instead of names in a silent auction format. Then no one needs to know who is bidding or what they're spending.

It's not the silent auction that's a problem. It's the live auction where the out of control bidding takes place.

Do you think all live auctions are a problem or just the one related to your school? What is out of control? Is it the fact that people are bidding higher and higher? The live auction brings in much more cash than silent. It's fun to watch. YOu have issues if this bothers you. I'm really thankful for the families who can afford to bid on the big ticket items and I sincerely hope they enjoy their winnings. I happily give them applause to the winning bidder. I think my attitude is much better than some on this board.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If you don't think your daughter needs an underground athletic facility and other "spurious capital projects and programs," withdraw her from the school. Attendance is voluntary.

Hm, no. We like the core curriculum and teachers, which we believe are not replicated elsewhere. We won't be guilted into kicking in an additional $10,000 a year over $30,000 tuition for over-the-top facilities that didn't draw us to the school in the first place and are ridiculously superfluous.

Put another way, if the administration and board truly believes these luxuries are necessary to an education, fine, build the $X million award-winning green building and raise tuition to $42,000 a year. Bake it right in! and be forthright about your expenditures and costs.

Don't dick around with the low low teaser rate of $30,000 a year, only to pull a bait and switch.

Let's see whether you can do the math. Which would you prefer? Paying $40,000 in tuition? Or paying $30,000 in tuition and $10,000 in donation, which is tax deductible? Duh. Since you are refusing to make that $10,000 donation (you never said you couldn't afford it), you get no tax deduction but you get guilt instead. Too bad.

So you are saying the whole thing is an elaborate scheme to dodge taxes?

PP. Exactly. That is the true dog and pony show. As previously, mentioned my husband and I used to get caught up in the "show." We decided it showed a lot more class to donate without the fanfare. Tacky.

Anonymous wrote:Schools can give parents numbers to use for bidding instead of names in a silent auction format. Then no one needs to know who is bidding or what they're spending.

It's not the silent auction that's a problem. It's the live auction where the out of control bidding takes place.

This ^^^^^

Some people just don't appreciate the kind of support it takes to run a successful program.

Anonymous wrote:People are more than happy to part with their money when everyone knows how much they are parting. It is ostentatious. I now I am a former big bidder who realizes how disgusting the whole process is and how it can make others in the community feel--especially those that scrape the money to buy a damn ticket to attend.

I can tell you how I feel- I feel happy for the school and grateful that there are big bidders out there! It is going to a good cause so who cares if it is a bit showy. I go to the auction to support the school and I might buy something small. But I love to watch the big bidding and I am very grateful for the generosity. It doesn't make me feel bad - I see the fancy cars and designer clothes and huge houses - it's not like it's a secret that the school has lots of richies!

Schools can give parents numbers to use for bidding instead of names in a silent auction format. Then no one needs to know who is bidding or what they're spending.

People are more than happy to part with their money when everyone knows how much they are parting. It is ostentatious. I now I am a former big bidder who realizes how disgusting the whole process is and how it can make others in the community feel--especially those that scrape the money to buy a damn ticket to attend.