Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a WOHM who doesn't think a SAHM is a good choice for my workplace. I admit it. Our outlooks are just too different.

And your job is what? And it requires your colleagues to have your same "outlook"?

I've been home for one year and, in that time, have directed over $1.8 million in business to my husband's law firm. And taken care of two kids. And my dad. And have had two previous employers ask me to come back whenever I'm ready. I think my "outlook" is just fine.

Your "outlook" is irrelevant because you're a SAHM. Are you ready to go back to 50+ hours in an office, with travel?

You are the one who made assumptions about my "outlook," which you now claim is "irrelevant" because I'm currently a SAHM.

When I am ready to return to work, which will be in about 18 months, we will have FT childcare (a nanny we already know and who has worked with us) employed for after school and some weekend time for two elementary school kids. We won't use all of that time, but it will give us the flexibility we want. My husband will also be working fewer hours than he is now, and will be able to do more of the day-to-day family activities (including driving kids to school in the morning, which he can't do now). Returning to travel wouldn't be too much of a problem as it's what I'm used to (including significant travel until our second child was 3), and I'm sure that being at home with kids for almost three years won't have erased my ability to navigate National, manage a team, set priorities and perform my job well. Maybe that's why I keep being asked to go back.

Will I take a 50+ hour per week job? One with significant travel? One with fewer hours? One with an unpredictable or regular schedule? Well, that depends on what the position is, the mission of the organization, how much less my husband is working (which for him in part depends on what kind of job I want) and how my parents are. Pretty much the same factors that went into my decision-making when I was a WOHM considering promotions and positions at a new organizations.

Do you really think that WOHMs have the corner on the market on being hard-working, organized and productive women? That nobody else could possible have a plan, and a way to implement it, that's different from yours but that also involves meeting commitments to work, including intense schedules and travel? That other families are unable to make decisions that allow for each spouse to have a fulfilling career, and to plan accordingly in a way that reflects thoughtfulness rather than flakiness?

in these?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/14563943@N06/1482883648/

Anonymous wrote:I have grown daughters, both will be going away next fall to college. I am trying to get back into medical sales after being out for 10 years, and it is a little scary, but you can't lose your selling skills once you have them. I campaigned in 2010 and those skills come back just like riding a bike. Try to stay positive. Think about all of the benefits a hiring manager has with an older woman who has grown children, no more taking sick days every week during the fall and winter to take care of kids. She can work long hours and not have to worry about how to pick her children up at day care before they start charging $1 / minute, how to get those children fed and get homework finished, no concern about maternity leave, and no more concern about overnight travel. If they hire a younger woman she has much more of a chance of getting pregnant and eventually quitting her job than the older moms do. I am thrilled at the thought of returning back to work, and I plan to invest just as much of myself in my job as I did before. Now, I just have to find a hiring manager to take a chance on me.

Anonymous wrote:I have grown daughters, both will be going away next fall to college. I am trying to get back into medical sales after being out for 10 years, and it is a little scary, but you can't lose your selling skills once you have them. I campaigned in 2010 and those skills come back just like riding a bike.
Try to stay positive. Think about all of the benefits a hiring manager has with an older woman who has grown children, no more taking sick days every week during the fall and winter to take care of kids. She can work long hours and not have to worry about how to pick her children up at day care before they start charging $1 / minute, how to get those children fed and get homework finished, no concern about maternity leave, and no more concern about overnight travel. If they hire a younger woman she has much more of a chance of getting pregnant and eventually quitting her job than the older moms do. I am thrilled at the thought of returning back to work, and I plan to invest just as much of myself in my job as I did before. Now, I just have to find a hiring manager to take a chance on me.

OMG, your thinking is so antiquated!
Now a days, working women have husbands who also shoulder the domestic duties. My DH does as much (and sometimes more) than I do. Additionally, MANY women stay in the work force, especially educated ones with earning potential.

Grandma, this is 2011, not 1981. Wake up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New question (from a 7-yr SAHM) -- what would you say to someone like me who has NO network to work?

We have moved a lot around the country, and meanwhile the people I used to know "here" now live in other time zones. And they don't work for companies with a branch in D.C. or anything obvious like that.

Meanwhile, 3 of my most connected, impressive mentor-type contacts have died. No shit.

I just feel, truthfully, like all I can do is hand out biz cards at block parties and school pick up. I've already reached out to the 6 professional contacts I still have in D.C. and I've hit the wall ....

is "network, network, network" sometimes a myth?

I was a SAHM for about as long as you and a WOHM at my dd's school hired me. Start looking at everyone you see on a weekly basis, that is your network. If you aren't seeing enough people through the neighborhood, book groups, volunteering, then you should first get out more. The more you start talking about wanting to get back to work, and asking questions, people will help. I don't know about handing out cards, I never handed out cards, but I did get to know people and then tell them that I was interested in going back to work. This person saw me work as a volunteer and we talked shop, and voila.

I am a WOHM and haven't faced your exact situation - but I think that it's important to be aggressive about making contacts. What field do you want to go into? Does your college have a registry of where people are working through their career development offices? Contact those people and say you'd like to talk to them and get their advice about getting into the work force. Give people the opportunity to meet you, and break out of your routine (though as PP said, you never know who is part of your daily routine) Most WOHMs I know really harbor no ill will towards SAHMs - we recognize that we all try to make the best decisions we can for our families. Don't let the WOHM/SAHM farce you see here on DCUM hold you back from networking with WOHMs.

How do the prospective employers know that you have children?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have grown daughters, both will be going away next fall to college. I am trying to get back into medical sales after being out for 10 years, and it is a little scary, but you can't lose your selling skills once you have them. I campaigned in 2010 and those skills come back just like riding a bike.
Try to stay positive. Think about all of the benefits a hiring manager has with an older woman who has grown children, no more taking sick days every week during the fall and winter to take care of kids. She can work long hours and not have to worry about how to pick her children up at day care before they start charging $1 / minute, how to get those children fed and get homework finished, no concern about maternity leave, and no more concern about overnight travel. If they hire a younger woman she has much more of a chance of getting pregnant and eventually quitting her job than the older moms do. I am thrilled at the thought of returning back to work, and I plan to invest just as much of myself in my job as I did before. Now, I just have to find a hiring manager to take a chance on me.

For professional level jobs, today this is not the thinking. Many women will not in fact quit and those "younger women" are usually in their 30's before having children so are more likely to already be in positions they are not willing to abandon.

Exactly. It is not the norm, especially in this area, for women to get pregnant and quit. Most moms work around here (obviously some still do opt out). And highly educated women with higher earning jobs are MORE likely to stay in the workforce. Yes, employers might see maternity leave as a hassle but they are not thinking long term if that is the case.

Anonymous wrote:I have grown daughters, both will be going away next fall to college. I am trying to get back into medical sales after being out for 10 years, and it is a little scary, but you can't lose your selling skills once you have them. I campaigned in 2010 and those skills come back just like riding a bike.
Try to stay positive. Think about all of the benefits a hiring manager has with an older woman who has grown children, no more taking sick days every week during the fall and winter to take care of kids. She can work long hours and not have to worry about how to pick her children up at day care before they start charging $1 / minute, how to get those children fed and get homework finished, no concern about maternity leave, and no more concern about overnight travel. If they hire a younger woman she has much more of a chance of getting pregnant and eventually quitting her job than the older moms do. I am thrilled at the thought of returning back to work, and I plan to invest just as much of myself in my job as I did before. Now, I just have to find a hiring manager to take a chance on me.

For professional level jobs, today this is not the thinking. Many women will not in fact quit and those "younger women" are usually in their 30's before having children so are more likely to already be in positions they are not willing to abandon.

PP, that is the problem.
You think young women are pregnancy accidents waiting to happen
In todays time, the men are involved in child care and do their share of picking up the kids, taking sick days to take care of the kids. Men give their kids breakfeast and children become more self sufficient and do their homework on their own.
There are mothers in the work place that travel

My impression is that hiring you would be a problem. You might not adjust so easily to changes

I have grown daughters, both will be going away next fall to college. I am trying to get back into medical sales after being out for 10 years, and it is a little scary, but you can't lose your selling skills once you have them. I campaigned in 2010 and those skills come back just like riding a bike.
Try to stay positive. Think about all of the benefits a hiring manager has with an older woman who has grown children, no more taking sick days every week during the fall and winter to take care of kids. She can work long hours and not have to worry about how to pick her children up at day care before they start charging $1 / minute, how to get those children fed and get homework finished, no concern about maternity leave, and no more concern about overnight travel. If they hire a younger woman she has much more of a chance of getting pregnant and eventually quitting her job than the older moms do. I am thrilled at the thought of returning back to work, and I plan to invest just as much of myself in my job as I did before. Now, I just have to find a hiring manager to take a chance on me.

Back on the Career Track book has great suggestions for building your network. Your network doesn't have to be former bosses or more senior colleagues. One suggestion from that book that worked for me is to consider junior colleagues from your days at work. They will remember you and in my experience they are really willing to help. Going back to work is a huge task - break it into very small steps, work at it steadily, but be kind to yourself! There is a VA mom trying to go back to work who writes a blog (Back In Force). Check that out too. I think she used to work in media so your fields are related.

Anonymous wrote:New question (from a 7-yr SAHM) -- what would you say to someone like me who has NO network to work?

We have moved a lot around the country, and meanwhile the people I used to know "here" now live in other time zones. And they don't work for companies with a branch in D.C. or anything obvious like that.

Meanwhile, 3 of my most connected, impressive mentor-type contacts have died. No shit.

I just feel, truthfully, like all I can do is hand out biz cards at block parties and school pick up. I've already reached out to the 6 professional contacts I still have in D.C. and I've hit the wall ....

is "network, network, network" sometimes a myth?

I was a SAHM for about as long as you and a WOHM at my dd's school hired me. Start looking at everyone you see on a weekly basis, that is your network. If you aren't seeing enough people through the neighborhood, book groups, volunteering, then you should first get out more. The more you start talking about wanting to get back to work, and asking questions, people will help. I don't know about handing out cards, I never handed out cards, but I did get to know people and then tell them that I was interested in going back to work. This person saw me work as a volunteer and we talked shop, and voila.

You have to admit that no one cares if you stayed home b/c you had a sick child or you cared for your now dead father. It's not relevant to the work force. Employers want to see people with updated skills who are task-oriented.

Furthermore, there are plenty of women who work and still care for a SN child and ailing parents. I am one of them. While it's not easy, I've learned how to keep things in perspective. I do know that w/o my salary, my children would not be in private school, which is especially important for my son.

So, sadly, while I understand the pressure of family issues, employers who NEED to run an efficient office don't care. fact of life

Anonymous wrote:Whenever I read these types of threads, I always get the feeling that there are some WOHMs who just relish the thought of SAHMs having trouble re-entering the workforce, as if now these spoiled b#tches are getting their due.

No matter that they stayed home because it was not financially feasible to work, or had a disabled or ill-child, or some other reason, these types of WOHMs seem to view all SAHMs as pampered mothers of "little snowflakes" who are obsessed with "bonding" and now that they want to re-enter the workforce, hahahahahaha on you! We WILL not hire you!

OP-- life is flexible if you are. You will find work -- the tip to volunteer to have a recent "project" on your resume is an excellent one. Networking through church and friends is a fantastic way to get a job. These people know you and trust you and will be more likely to either take a chance or recommend you to someone.

Anonymous wrote:When I got rehired after being a SAHM, my employer wanted to know how I would juggle my career with my family life. I told him that I had reliable childcare lined up for DC, I have back-up sitters (signed up with a babysitter agency, neighbors etc.) and DH and I generally co-parent and my job is not going to be 'second-class' behind my DH's. I think you have to show that you have thought about making it work and that you will be able to juggle things even if a roadblock is thrown your way. I think my employer was impressed and in the four years that I have worked there, I have only missed about 6 days. Of course there are days when I want to be home, but I made this commitment and it is important to me. Plus I like my biweekly paycheck.

Excellent answer. I'm very surprised your employer was legally able to ask you about juggling career and family though.

When I got rehired after being a SAHM, my employer wanted to know how I would juggle my career with my family life. I told him that I had reliable childcare lined up for DC, I have back-up sitters (signed up with a babysitter agency, neighbors etc.) and DH and I generally co-parent and my job is not going to be 'second-class' behind my DH's. I think you have to show that you have thought about making it work and that you will be able to juggle things even if a roadblock is thrown your way. I think my employer was impressed and in the four years that I have worked there, I have only missed about 6 days. Of course there are days when I want to be home, but I made this commitment and it is important to me. Plus I like my biweekly paycheck.

no - I was stating that gaps in a resume before re-entry are for reasons sometimes due to an illness or some other catastrophic thing, and sometimes due wanting or needing to stay home to raise their kids.

of course no one would want to hire someone who isn't sure they can or want to commit to working (was not talking about being able to step on and off at will as a condition of a job!).

most would assume they need to step it up and show up giving 100% or not do it at all regardless of type of position.

having a gap while you raise kids and manage other bumps in life does not indicate being conflicted, necessarily.