Anonymous wrote:oh 21:51 here,
to commiserate with the other poster who had a miscarriage.
My mother's first words upon hearing the news? "well, that's not really a miscarriage".

Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:As they get older it gets worse. It's like the toddler who says, "why is that lady fat?" with the volume on 10. Both DD and I are always prepared to slink down like we don't know my mom when we are in public with her. It's actually pretty hilarious after a while, but not if her comments are racial or hypercritical of people around her, including us!
That's my mom.
Best (worst) yet, we were in a mall and she said loudly to no one in particular: "It's so NICE to see a black man taking an interest in his children!" When I dressed her down (after fleeing the scene) she said "What?!? I said it was nice!"
Anonymous wrote:
When I had my first miscarriage, mom turned to DH (they were both at hospital waiting for me to come out of surgery) and told him she was glad this was happening because I was getting "too fat."
I"m so sorry. It's so strange. Is she like that a lot? Sometimes my mom comes out with wildly inappropriate, painful, hurtful comments at odd times and then denies that she ever has said them, she would never say anything so awful, etc.
Anyway, as I've gotten older, my relationship with my mom has gotten better. And this thread has helped me appreciate some things about her--like how she's become a raging liberal since 2000, joined Dailykos and gets involved in politics to a rather annoying degree.
Racism: she absolutely believes she has not a racist bone in her body, but will say things like "oh, so and so is black but so educated and accomplished."
"I guess you haven't had time to work out lately."
"You're not really going to eat french fries, are you??"
to a friend of mine, at her wedding, when I was 27 "Well, I'm so happy for you. Its clear that [my daughter] will never find a husband. It's all her father's fault, too"
and maybe my favorite "So and SO, who is really fat, just got engaged to a doctor. What does she have that you don't?"
after finishing my PhD "Finally! Now you can work on getting married, though its probably too late for kids" ( I ended up having 2, at 38 and 40 after which she said that I got my fertility from her).
after learning I was engaged to my now husband (who was divorced and has a s.n. child) "Well, you always were a glutton for punishment."
to my husband when he put on a slighly ripped pair of jeans and t-shirt to do some gardening: "wow, auditioning for a part as a homeless person?"
to me, whenever she asks if my son does XYZ yet and if I say no she says that I knew my colors by a year, had a 50 word vocabulary at a year, was speaking complete sentences at 18 months, my brother knew the alphabet at a year, etc and then says "but of course, I spent all my days working so hard to teach you and your brother, whereas your son goes to a daycare where they barely speak english, so that's probably why he's delayed." (its bilingual and he's in no way delayed).....
oh, the list could go on and on.....
Anonymous wrote:When I occasionally complain about life or a relationship annoyance, she immediately dismisses it and says:
"Why are you letting this person (thing) have power over you?" Argh!! I'm not letting anyone have "power" over me. I am venting a frustration. Something that she does to me ALL the time. Almost daily.
Other gems:
"Don't let anyone have control over your mental health."
"Why do you have to be so logical about everything?"
"I wish you would go to church. You need to have more faith about things."
I realize that these many not be irritataing to others, but it drives me crazy.

When I had my first miscarriage, mom turned to DH (they were both at hospital waiting for me to come out of surgery) and told him she was glad this was happening because I was getting "too fat."
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:When I had my first miscarriage, mom turned to DH (they were both at hospital waiting for me to come out of surgery) and told him she was glad this was happening because I was getting "too fat."
Wow. How did your husband respond??
Anonymous wrote:As they get older it gets worse. It's like the toddler who says, "why is that lady fat?" with the volume on 10. Both DD and I are always prepared to slink down like we don't know my mom when we are in public with her. It's actually pretty hilarious after a while, but not if her comments are racial or hypercritical of people around her, including us!
Anonymous wrote:When I had my first miscarriage, mom turned to DH (they were both at hospital waiting for me to come out of surgery) and told him she was glad this was happening because I was getting "too fat."
Anonymous wrote:"You really should watch Glenn Beck. Finally, someone who speaks the truth about our country!"