Anonymous wrote:This thread was very off-putting. Some of the PTA supporters showed incredible contempt and a lack of empathy toward those who have either made different choices, or are really overwhelmed with the day-to-day responsibilities of their lives. Your contempt shows.

I did try to get involved and help out. I wasn't made to feel very welcome, and so I found other ways to contribute to our community. I also (in the spirit of Maimonides), do much of my contributing (time, and money) in ways outsiders and even insiders would not be able to attribute to me.

OP - I'm glad you aren't cliquish but don't be so sure it isn't happening in your school. The "absent" parents probably have their reasons. Either they find the "in" group offputting, or you aren't offering things they value.

Oh boy, I think you're that crazy guy from my kid's school,

Anonymous wrote:This thread was very off-putting. Some of the PTA supporters showed incredible contempt and a lack of empathy toward those who have either made different choices, or are really overwhelmed with the day-to-day responsibilities of their lives. Your contempt shows.

I totally agree.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Three kids, I work full time and we move quite often. I just don't have the time. I attend school functions, donate and make purchases through the PTA. Overall, PTA is pretty low on my totem pole. Sorry.

In my mind the PTA is for SAHMs. I'm sure that is a broad assumption and I will get flamed, but that's my two cent donation.

many sahm feel that they already do "enough" for the school and therefore don't do PTA, that all for you honey, want to give you an opportunity to do something too!

You know what, though? The SAHM do that by choice so they shouldn't be resentful. At least at our school, the "volunteer" opportunities in the classroom exist largely to give parents a chance to participate. I may not volunteer every week, but I send in whatever the teacher needs, go on field trips, donate, etc. Just because I can't be in the school during working hours doesn't mean I'm not involved. If you're resentful that you, as a SAHM, perceive that you're carrying too big of a load, then stop. I think you might find that you bring it on yourself and perhaps even enjoy being a martyr and lording it over the WOHM.

Anonymous wrote:Uncontrollable flatulence.

LOL!

signed

A PTA gossipy cliquish elitist full-of-herself good-for-nothing SAHM with too much time on her hands and a sense of humor

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you in DC, MD, or VA?

I apologize if you have mentioned that and I missed it...

We're in VA...

Uncontrollable flatulence.

OP, please forgive me for not reading all the responses. But I want to let you know why I don't participate.

I do join the PTA, and I make an extra donation, too, sometimes a significant one. I'd much rather write a check and let the money go help the causes then spend hours and hours of my time (which I don't have) to get a marginal return.

In sum, I have more money than time. If the PTA asks for my time, I have nothing to give, but if it sends me a fundraising letter, it will get a big check.

Good luck. We've benefited from great PTA programs at our school and I am grateful to those who arrange them.

OP, are you in DC, MD, or VA?

I apologize if you have mentioned that and I missed it...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We give money but don't otherwise get involved because it is full of gossippy SAHM's with nothing better to do.

if you are going to call people names at least learn to spell

Well.....let's get real here. There are laid back SAHMs and there are the perfectionist, busy-bee, "cram in as many activities as you can" SAHMs. The latter are the PITA PTA moms. They have lots to do, but would be nothing if it weren't for their full schedule of activities. I stay far away from it. Gets to a point where there are too many cooks in the kitchen!!

I find that the people who join PTA NEED the PTA more than it needs them. the whole thing seems awfully self-serving.

This thread was very off-putting. Some of the PTA supporters showed incredible contempt and a lack of empathy toward those who have either made different choices, or are really overwhelmed with the day-to-day responsibilities of their lives. Your contempt shows.

I did try to get involved and help out. I wasn't made to feel very welcome, and so I found other ways to contribute to our community. I also (in the spirit of Maimonides), do much of my contributing (time, and money) in ways outsiders and even insiders would not be able to attribute to me.

OP - I'm glad you aren't cliquish but don't be so sure it isn't happening in your school. The "absent" parents probably have their reasons. Either they find the "in" group offputting, or you aren't offering things they value.

OP here. There is a lot of talk about how exclusive or cliquish or gossipy the leadership is, and I have to say that I think there was a lot of the cliquishness at the previous school we were at before moving to this area. I volunteered a ton and I don't think the top brass had any idea who I was by the time we left.
However, I haven't encountered any of that at our current school, so it seems to me people ought to give it a try before coming to a conclusion one way or the other.

Also, I should add that at the other school, I could have cared less whether I was part of the clique or not, as long as good things were coming the kids' way as a result. Just like, at work, I don't care if anyone not directly supervising me gives a hoot about me, as long as we all work to get me a bonus at the end of the year...

Actually PTA's are very much a reflection of their student bodies. I also don't think the issue is the few people that have truel awful impossible situations. The reality is that a lot of people want to use the PTA to bitch and moan and advance their own agenda and it gets old. So people opt out if the Principal or President don't manage those issues.

Anonymous wrote:We give money but don't otherwise get involved because it is full of gossippy SAHM's with nothing better to do.

if you are going to call people names at least learn to spell

Anonymous wrote:We give money but don't otherwise get involved because it is full of gossippy SAHM's with nothing better to do.

yeah, whatever makes you feel better, what a loser.