Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

There is no argument, just your opinion which is, an opinion, and one that I couldn't disagree more with. As the parent of two high achieving, college bound teens, my kids are involved in sports, voluneering, and of course studying. We are their parents and we are there for them, but there is plenty of time for both my husband and I to pursue careers, get a healthy, homemade meal on the table that we all share every night, and be involved in their school, education, and other aspects of their life. I supposse you are planning on having your kids live with you in college (if they are college bound)?

And sorry, it's hard to breast feed your kids if they are in daycare. I have NOTHING against parents working when their kids are young and no issue with high quality care in the infant and toddler years, but there are some things that a provider can't do that a mom can. Not to mention, economically it makes more sense to not pay for infant daycare if you have the choice and desire to stay home. Stats wise, there are a lot more moms home in the early years than in the teen or elem. school years, no doubt because if my children will be out of the home between 30-40 hours anyway, I might as we well be earning a living.

You have got to be kidding me. Have you ever heard of pumping?? What exactly are those things that a provider can't do that a mom can? Other than breastfeeding though I assure you as a working mom of an EXCLUSIVELY breastfed 7 month old that our child care provider is perfectly capable of giving my daughter a bottle of breastmilk.

And all b/c there are more moms home during the early years doesn't mean that those are the crucial years to be home. I work full-time and don't really have a dog in this fight, but I have always known that it is FAR better for me to work FT now (while my kids are younger), build up my reputation and seniority and then go part time later on (when my kids are in middle school and need me more).

Anonymous wrote:I think your best money spent will be on one parent staying home FT until school starts.

Anonymous wrote:Our plan: private ps-8 to establish good study habits, love of learning. If it works and kid is a good student, good public HS. If not, private HS as well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you could only afford really high expenses for a few years, do you think it would be better to spend that money on a nanny during the infant/toddler stage, or on private school (and if so, which school years)? TIA for sharing your thoughts.

How would a nanny figure into this equation? A nanny won't give your kid any intellectual or developmental advantages over any other less expensive options. Developmentally, there is no long term advantage between SAHM, childcare, or a nanny. It just depends on your situation and how good the caregiver is. Personally, if I could only afford high expenses for a few years, I wouldn't spend it on someone to change diapers. There are many free methods to teach and develop a baby/toddler. You can usually do them yourself.

Anonymous wrote:"I'm curious, how do working moms get their kids to all their after-school activities? I'm currently a stay at home mom to elementary school kids and if I worked there's no way that my husband or I could get home in time to take them to their activities. I've thought about returning to work in a few years, but this is actually one of the reasons why I am hesitant to do so."

1) some of the activities are at school;
2) the activity place picks them up at school; or
3) carpool.

Does your question mean you've never discussed logistics with any of your WOHM friends (?). Aren't you the slightest bit curious how your real life friends who work full time get their kids to activities ?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My opinion is that a nanny is not better than daycare unless you can afford it and it makes your life easier. SAH is great, but if that's not what you want to do, then daycare makes more sense to me than a nanny. Then, in this area, I'd send my kid to a good public elementary (at least try it out). Then I'd try to go public for middle and high school if possible and fund whatever college my kid wanted/could get into so they didn't have debt.

SAH is fabulous, and I do it, but in the end quality care for the first few years is the most important, and you can get that at daycare or with a nanny (although my preference would be for daycare because many nannies I see around here don't personally seem to me to be offering better care than a really good daycare). But a good nanny is nice too. Public school if it'll work for your kid is so good in so many ways.

A nanny is much better than daycare for the 5 and under crowd because the parents don't have to miss work when the kids are sick. The kids get much more individual attention, and importantly, the nanny has your detailed instructions on how the parent wants things done. Plus, a high caliber nanny does light cleaning, cooking, laundry and errands, so by definition makes your life easier than daycare.

Anonymous wrote:My opinion is that a nanny is not better than daycare unless you can afford it and it makes your life easier. SAH is great, but if that's not what you want to do, then daycare makes more sense to me than a nanny. Then, in this area, I'd send my kid to a good public elementary (at least try it out). Then I'd try to go public for middle and high school if possible and fund whatever college my kid wanted/could get into so they didn't have debt.

SAH is fabulous, and I do it, but in the end quality care for the first few years is the most important, and you can get that at daycare or with a nanny (although my preference would be for daycare because many nannies I see around here don't personally seem to me to be offering better care than a really good daycare). But a good nanny is nice too. Public school if it'll work for your kid is so good in so many ways.