Anonymous
Post 02/01/2011 01:52     Subject: What is your deepest family secret?
Both of my parents spent time in mental institutions. They lied about it to us as children and still don't want anyone to know. It doesn't really bother me or my siblings, but it is clearly their secret, so we don't share it.

A follow up on this. My parents aren't truthful about why they were committed. I'm not sure my siblings necessarily realize, but it wasn't just depression. The facts don't add up.

Anonymous
Post 01/31/2011 23:19     Subject: What is your deepest family secret?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have a common one for the 1960s. I was supposedly premature, but really my parents had a shotgun wedding after finding out my mother was pregnant with me.


Curious-are there shotgun weddings in the US these days? Or it now socially acceptable to have a child out of wedlock?


Very socially acceptable. I think the stats are 43% of all children in the US are born out of wedlock.


okay, but in the 60's we weren't born out of wedlock, but many of us were conceived out of wedlock. Men almost always married the woman, unlike today...
Fwiw, i was also conceived 4 months before my parents married.


Do all of these secrets make any of you feel broken? Mine is so fifties-ish and lame sounding to me, but it was amplified by the silence around it. As though there was something "bad" about us that needed to be washed away...

Anyone else feel this way?
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2011 23:18     Subject: Re:What is your deepest family secret?
Anonymous wrote:My Grandmother, daughter of a baptist minister, was about 2 mos pregnant when she got married. When I did the math while reading the family bible years ago, you would have thought I had uncovered the most horrific of secret shames when I asked her about it.

When I told my Grandmother that my bf was black (now my DH) she said "oh, that's on your Dad's side of the family." When I told my Dad, he said the same thing about my Grandmother. Get over it already.

My Mom had an abortion between the birth of my older sister and myself (circa 1971.)





Preacher's kids are the wildest and most rebellious. Just saying.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2011 23:13     Subject: Re:What is your deepest family secret?
My Grandmother, daughter of a baptist minister, was about 2 mos pregnant when she got married. When I did the math while reading the family bible years ago, you would have thought I had uncovered the most horrific of secret shames when I asked her about it.

When I told my Grandmother that my bf was black (now my DH) she said "oh, that's on your Dad's side of the family." When I told my Dad, he said the same thing about my Grandmother. Get over it already.

My Mom had an abortion between the birth of my older sister and myself (circa 1971.)



Anonymous
Post 01/31/2011 22:58     Subject: Re:What is your deepest family secret?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Back in the mid-60's - My sister's twin was not stillborn as my parents always said but rather was born alive. I found this out while investigating our family tree a few years ago. There is no death certificate and no information via the social security db's that he has died for him to this day but there was a birth certificate and it does report him as a live birth.

My parents are dead. My siblings still give the same story - the twin was stilborn. I believe they have no idea this is in fact not true. They have no reason to lie at this point - we have very little family left and none were around back when he was born.

I am guessing he was placed for adoption but have no idead the motivation or reasons. No one in our family has ever been contacted by an unknown adult claiming to be our sibling so I don't think anyone is looking for us.

Or he may have had a serious disability...and was placed in a facility

That was what I though when I read it. I was born in the mid-60s, and growing up I knew a set of identical twins where one was typically developing, and the other had some sort of mental disability due to lack of oxygen at birth.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2011 22:56     Subject: Re:What is your deepest family secret?
Anonymous wrote:Back in the mid-60's - My sister's twin was not stillborn as my parents always said but rather was born alive. I found this out while investigating our family tree a few years ago. There is no death certificate and no information via the social security db's that he has died for him to this day but there was a birth certificate and it does report him as a live birth.

My parents are dead. My siblings still give the same story - the twin was stilborn. I believe they have no idea this is in fact not true. They have no reason to lie at this point - we have very little family left and none were around back when he was born.

I am guessing he was placed for adoption but have no idead the motivation or reasons. No one in our family has ever been contacted by an unknown adult claiming to be our sibling so I don't think anyone is looking for us.

Or he may have had a serious disability...and was placed in a facility
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2011 22:46     Subject: What is your deepest family secret?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have a common one for the 1960s. I was supposedly premature, but really my parents had a shotgun wedding after finding out my mother was pregnant with me.


Curious-are there shotgun weddings in the US these days? Or it now socially acceptable to have a child out of wedlock?

I have some friends who got married quickly after the woman got pregnant. They are from very religiously conservative families though.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2011 22:46     Subject: What is your deepest family secret?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have a common one for the 1960s. I was supposedly premature, but really my parents had a shotgun wedding after finding out my mother was pregnant with me.



Same here. Although it's no secret and we joke about it. I only figured that one out when I was fourteen.


Me too. Neither of my parents have ever admitted it to me. I'm 40. They just lied about their wedding date, but I saw it on their divorce papers when I was 10. Apparently, it really broke my grandfather's heart that his favorite daughter would shame the family that way.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2011 22:46     Subject: What is your deepest family secret?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have a common one for the 1960s. I was supposedly premature, but really my parents had a shotgun wedding after finding out my mother was pregnant with me.


Curious-are there shotgun weddings in the US these days? Or it now socially acceptable to have a child out of wedlock?


Very socially acceptable. I think the stats are 43% of all children in the US are born out of wedlock.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2011 22:44     Subject: What is your deepest family secret?
Anonymous wrote:I have a common one for the 1960s. I was supposedly premature, but really my parents had a shotgun wedding after finding out my mother was pregnant with me.


Curious-are there shotgun weddings in the US these days? Or it now socially acceptable to have a child out of wedlock?
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2011 22:43     Subject: What is your deepest family secret?
Anonymous wrote:I have a common one for the 1960s. I was supposedly premature, but really my parents had a shotgun wedding after finding out my mother was pregnant with me.



Same here. Although it's no secret and we joke about it. I only figured that one out when I was fourteen.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2011 22:42     Subject: What is your deepest family secret?
I have a common one for the 1960s. I was supposedly premature, but really my parents had a shotgun wedding after finding out my mother was pregnant with me.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2011 22:39     Subject: Re:What is your deepest family secret?
Anonymous wrote:There are many family secrets. I won't reveal all of them here since it's not really anonymous.

-Gay uncle died due to AIDS-related complications
-Grandfather was a child molester
-Another secret that I couldn't reveal if I wanted to because, well, it's a secret so I can't get anyone to tell me if it's true
-Many more


Tell us more!
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2011 22:37     Subject: Re:What is your deepest family secret?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My sister molested me and my brother.


Where is your sister now? Are you in touch?


Yes we all act like it never happened.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2011 21:51     Subject: What is your deepest family secret?


PP, I know everyone has secrets, but really it does explain what we already knew. Why there are *so many* a**holes!