Anonymous
Post 06/13/2026 16:55     Subject: Smart or rude: people who do what they want
OP I am like you and my husband often takes the shortcut. He’s very friendly about it and I think because he’s tall, white and friendly he is almost never called out for these things. On the rare occasion he is, he smiles and says sorry and moves on with his life. He’ll also play the “clueless dad” card whether he is actually clueless about X or not. He’s the happier for it but it drives me nuts.
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2026 15:54     Subject: Smart or rude: people who do what they want
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, this reminds me of the Shopping Cart Theory - a concept suggesting that returning a grocery cart to a designated corral evaluates moral character. Because returning the cart yields no reward and skipping it carries no punishment, this voluntary act measures a person's civic duty, empathy, and personal discipline.

Here's the AI overview:
Unsupervised Integrity: It tests whether an individual will do the right thing simply because it is correct, rather than to avoid penalties

Empathy: It shows consideration for store employees and fellow shoppers who rely on clear parking spots and orderly cart returns

Ownership vs. Entitlement: Leaving a cart in a parking space demonstrates entitlement (the expectation that someone else will handle it), while returning it demonstrates ownership of responsibilities


This drives me NUTS! Our vacation house is in one of the most expensive beach areas on the east coast and going to the grocery store here drives me insane because 9/10 people just leave their cart strewn about wherever. The entitlement of the people who do this drive me nuts. I don’t see it in less ritzy areas and I’m appalled by it. The people who do this take up extra parking spots in a crowded area by not putting their carts back and they create way more work for the poor employees who get tasked to go around and collect them from all over. I’ve started teaching my kids that this is an easy lesson in how to tell if someone is a good person or not, and now we all watch as we are leaving who puts them back. It’s absolutely antisocial behavior to think civility doesn’t apply to you.

Rant aside, OP I think you were fine to do the right thing, and I also think that dad wasn’t a jerk either given the circumstances. Unlike the grocery carts, I don’t think this one is so black and white!


You are creating the kind of people who cannot have successful relationships. Putting the grocery cart back in the corral does not define whether someone is a good person or not. Black or white thinking is not useful and leads to all kinds of relationships or reputations being destroyed. All people make hundreds or thousands of decisions each day, and most people are not "good" or "bad." Grow up, and stop teaching your kids this simplistic, destructive mindset. How about teaching your child to offer to help someone take the cart back?


We found one of the special jerks who thinks they’re entitled to leave carts all over the parking spaces! My kids are very interested in helping to put back the carts that inconsiderate buffoons can’t be bothered to corral.
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2026 14:30     Subject: Smart or rude: people who do what they want
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, this reminds me of the Shopping Cart Theory - a concept suggesting that returning a grocery cart to a designated corral evaluates moral character. Because returning the cart yields no reward and skipping it carries no punishment, this voluntary act measures a person's civic duty, empathy, and personal discipline.

Here's the AI overview:
Unsupervised Integrity: It tests whether an individual will do the right thing simply because it is correct, rather than to avoid penalties

Empathy: It shows consideration for store employees and fellow shoppers who rely on clear parking spots and orderly cart returns

Ownership vs. Entitlement: Leaving a cart in a parking space demonstrates entitlement (the expectation that someone else will handle it), while returning it demonstrates ownership of responsibilities


This drives me NUTS! Our vacation house is in one of the most expensive beach areas on the east coast and going to the grocery store here drives me insane because 9/10 people just leave their cart strewn about wherever. The entitlement of the people who do this drive me nuts. I don’t see it in less ritzy areas and I’m appalled by it. The people who do this take up extra parking spots in a crowded area by not putting their carts back and they create way more work for the poor employees who get tasked to go around and collect them from all over. I’ve started teaching my kids that this is an easy lesson in how to tell if someone is a good person or not, and now we all watch as we are leaving who puts them back. It’s absolutely antisocial behavior to think civility doesn’t apply to you.

Rant aside, OP I think you were fine to do the right thing, and I also think that dad wasn’t a jerk either given the circumstances. Unlike the grocery carts, I don’t think this one is so black and white!



Agree. I also use the shopping cart point to teach my kids about laziness/entitlement/inconsideration.

I have no problem with the dad's parking though, if his task only took a few minutes. The odds of anyone needing the fire lane in that window are vanishingly small. Parking in a handicapped spot is a different story.


Bizarre because I would say Dad was lazy, entitled and inconsiderate.


DP. There's just no plausible reality, at any of the schools where I've ever had kids, that being parked in the bus lane at 1pm, for the time it takes to pick up a kid, is going to matter. We've had kids at two elementary schools and neither even had any parking for visitors. People parking the bus lane during the school day was so little of a concern that they didn't even design the schools with another option.
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2026 14:26     Subject: Smart or rude: people who do what they want
Anonymous wrote:It’s called being a man OP. and yes, women could do with a little more of it.


Women do this everywhere.

This is not about gender politics. It is about commin sense or lack thereof
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2026 14:20     Subject: Smart or rude: people who do what they want
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, this reminds me of the Shopping Cart Theory - a concept suggesting that returning a grocery cart to a designated corral evaluates moral character. Because returning the cart yields no reward and skipping it carries no punishment, this voluntary act measures a person's civic duty, empathy, and personal discipline.

Here's the AI overview:
Unsupervised Integrity: It tests whether an individual will do the right thing simply because it is correct, rather than to avoid penalties

Empathy: It shows consideration for store employees and fellow shoppers who rely on clear parking spots and orderly cart returns

Ownership vs. Entitlement: Leaving a cart in a parking space demonstrates entitlement (the expectation that someone else will handle it), while returning it demonstrates ownership of responsibilities


This drives me NUTS! Our vacation house is in one of the most expensive beach areas on the east coast and going to the grocery store here drives me insane because 9/10 people just leave their cart strewn about wherever. The entitlement of the people who do this drive me nuts. I don’t see it in less ritzy areas and I’m appalled by it. The people who do this take up extra parking spots in a crowded area by not putting their carts back and they create way more work for the poor employees who get tasked to go around and collect them from all over. I’ve started teaching my kids that this is an easy lesson in how to tell if someone is a good person or not, and now we all watch as we are leaving who puts them back. It’s absolutely antisocial behavior to think civility doesn’t apply to you.

Rant aside, OP I think you were fine to do the right thing, and I also think that dad wasn’t a jerk either given the circumstances. Unlike the grocery carts, I don’t think this one is so black and white!



Agree. I also use the shopping cart point to teach my kids about laziness/entitlement/inconsideration.

I have no problem with the dad's parking though, if his task only took a few minutes. The odds of anyone needing the fire lane in that window are vanishingly small. Parking in a handicapped spot is a different story.


Bizarre because I would say Dad was lazy, entitled and inconsiderate.
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2026 14:18     Subject: Re:Smart or rude: people who do what they want
Rude and entitled people always find an excuse for their rude and entitled behaviors.
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2026 14:17     Subject: Smart or rude: people who do what they want
Anonymous wrote:Imagine if everyone decided that things like designated parking areas and security measures were mere suggestions that one can feel free to dismiss if one is feeling lazy or otherwise too inconvenienced.

There are plenty of instances where breaking the rules may be warranted and justifiable, but breaking rules for the sake of breaking rules is antisocial and entitled behavior.


People already are breaking rules all over the place. Drumpf and other wealthy people are shoved in our faces all day long doing whatever they want whenever they want and now the younger generations think this is the way important people act. People have changed in the same way wrt driving. We are growing asshats right and left.
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2026 14:15     Subject: Smart or rude: people who do what they want
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, this reminds me of the Shopping Cart Theory - a concept suggesting that returning a grocery cart to a designated corral evaluates moral character. Because returning the cart yields no reward and skipping it carries no punishment, this voluntary act measures a person's civic duty, empathy, and personal discipline.

Here's the AI overview:
Unsupervised Integrity: It tests whether an individual will do the right thing simply because it is correct, rather than to avoid penalties

Empathy: It shows consideration for store employees and fellow shoppers who rely on clear parking spots and orderly cart returns

Ownership vs. Entitlement: Leaving a cart in a parking space demonstrates entitlement (the expectation that someone else will handle it), while returning it demonstrates ownership of responsibilities


This drives me NUTS! Our vacation house is in one of the most expensive beach areas on the east coast and going to the grocery store here drives me insane because 9/10 people just leave their cart strewn about wherever. The entitlement of the people who do this drive me nuts. I don’t see it in less ritzy areas and I’m appalled by it. The people who do this take up extra parking spots in a crowded area by not putting their carts back and they create way more work for the poor employees who get tasked to go around and collect them from all over. I’ve started teaching my kids that this is an easy lesson in how to tell if someone is a good person or not, and now we all watch as we are leaving who puts them back. It’s absolutely antisocial behavior to think civility doesn’t apply to you.

Rant aside, OP I think you were fine to do the right thing, and I also think that dad wasn’t a jerk either given the circumstances. Unlike the grocery carts, I don’t think this one is so black and white!


You are creating the kind of people who cannot have successful relationships. Putting the grocery cart back in the corral does not define whether someone is a good person or not. Black or white thinking is not useful and leads to all kinds of relationships or reputations being destroyed. All people make hundreds or thousands of decisions each day, and most people are not "good" or "bad." Grow up, and stop teaching your kids this simplistic, destructive mindset. How about teaching your child to offer to help someone take the cart back?
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2026 13:57     Subject: Smart or rude: people who do what they want
Anonymous wrote:Quick hypocrisy check! How many of you:

1) Bring drinks or snacks into the movie theater, even though that is forbidden?

2) Drive over the posted speed limit?

3) Duck into a bathroom at a store even when you don’t purchase anything, even when the sign says the restrooms are for customers only?

Just making sure you’re all perfect, all the time.


I’ve never claimed to be perfect and have done all those things. I’ve hung out with friends in hotel lobbies during heatwaves bc they’re air conditioned. I’ve read entire books at Borders. Etc.
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2026 13:39     Subject: Smart or rude: people who do what they want
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Quick hypocrisy check! How many of you:

1) Bring drinks or snacks into the movie theater, even though that is forbidden?

2) Drive over the posted speed limit?

3) Duck into a bathroom at a store even when you don’t purchase anything, even when the sign says the restrooms are for customers only?

Just making sure you’re all perfect, all the time.


Yes, of course I make a purchase. It's a social contract.


Skipped over #2, eh?


It would nice if I could even approach the speed limit around here.
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2026 13:16     Subject: Re:Smart or rude: people who do what they want
Claiming that rude, self-entitled behavior is okay because "it didn't hurt anyone" is missing the point. The point is what could happen. Evading being buzzed in by the office is probably harmless, but what if "dad in a hurry" is actually "angry parent with a gun?" Similarly, the chances are low that parking in a reserved spot will affect anyone - until it does.

I'm a strong proponent of firefighters smashing the windows of cars parked in front of hydrants and passing the hose through the interior when they respond to a fire.
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2026 13:14     Subject: Smart or rude: people who do what they want
Anonymous wrote:
I worked at a grocery store, and there was a guy whose only job was to gather carts. So putting them back yourself took away his job.


This.
And in my area, the “Cart Guy” is often a person with special needs.
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2026 13:09     Subject: Smart or rude: people who do what they want
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Quick hypocrisy check! How many of you:

1) Bring drinks or snacks into the movie theater, even though that is forbidden?

2) Drive over the posted speed limit?

3) Duck into a bathroom at a store even when you don’t purchase anything, even when the sign says the restrooms are for customers only?

Just making sure you’re all perfect, all the time.


Yes, of course I make a purchase. It's a social contract.


Skipped over #2, eh?
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2026 13:07     Subject: Smart or rude: people who do what they want
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Imagine if everyone decided that things like designated parking areas and security measures were mere suggestions that one can feel free to dismiss if one is feeling lazy or otherwise too inconvenienced.

There are plenty of instances where breaking the rules may be warranted and justifiable, but breaking rules for the sake of breaking rules is antisocial and entitled behavior.


This. Plus your kids pick up on whether you follow rules. One of the reasons I'm a rule follower is that I have a family member who thinks small lies are okay. I was disgusted with this behavior as a kid and I never want my kids to feel that way about me.


Do you have ASD? My nephew also hated small lies. One time it went like this.
Neighbor: How are you doing?
Me: Fine --
Nephew: No you're not, you have diarrhea!!


PP. Most of the lies were for personal convenience or to obtain something. DCUM loves armchair ND diagnoses. Was anyone really harmed, no. Was it ethical, no. Do I feel good about lying? Also no.
Anonymous
Post 06/13/2026 12:58     Subject: Smart or rude: people who do what they want
Anonymous wrote:Entitled sociopaths. The lane is also used for emergency vehicles. But the same logic you can park in handicap spaces, in front of fire hydrants. That's why they have stiff fines for social degenerates


That's not true! Schools have dedicated fire lanes as well as bus lanes. And if they didn't, he was only going to be a minute.