10k almost 30 years ago.

Believe I used the original version of this book which was awesome — so helpful and practical:

How to Have the Wedding You Want (Updated): (Not the One Everybody Else Wants You to Have)
by Christine Egan

https://www.amazon.com/How-Have-Wedding-Want-Updated/dp/042526968X/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?#

It was at what used to be The Knights of Columbus in Bethesda. I bought my dress by mail order for $300. We invited all our relatives and friends. Bought flowers in bulk by mail order as well, and family and friends made the centerpieces. It was pretty casual and very fun — exactly what we wanted. Great DJ and photos. Went to Tastee Diner afterwards.

Next question, how much did you spend on your second wedding?

It was around 50k over 10 years ago.

We paid for half, parents paid for half. 100 people.

I wish we had videography, I regret not having recordings of the music performances and speeches.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have any regrets about the cost of it? What would you have spent less on?

My parents borrowed seven grand from their best friend gave me a country club wedding I didn’t want in the 1980s .

My kids now even though we can afford it nope they get cash for an investment of property no wedding.

I relate to all of this, lol. This is so 80's parents.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:240 guests, $38k, 26 years ago

Zero regrets, it was a fun, fabulous weekend (rehearsal dinner, wedding, Sunday brunch). We have $100k earmarked for each of our kids weddings (1 boy, 1 girl), they are 20 and 23. If they don't want a big wedding, they can use it for a honeymoon or down-payment for a house

I hope they put it towards a house otherwise they will need help from the National Bank of Momanddad.

Well, I don't know about that, but I will say this: it's weird and presumptuous to assume that your kids--especially ones who are only 20 and 23--are ever going to want to get married in the first place, then again want a big wedding.

Meh. For a lot of people, if you want to be ready to pay for something this substantial, you have to plan ahead and save. Not unlike college. I don't think there's anything wrong with hoping your kids will get married. This used to be the normal way of things.

Yea, they're is. "Hoping" your kids will get married imposes your world view on them and applies pressure, whether spoken or not. Your only "hope" should be that they are happy in whatever they choose to do. As for saving, you don't need to save for any particular purpose. You just save for security's sake.

There is nothing wrong with hoping for anything for your child. It's basically a sort of day dreaming that does not affect anyone at all. Very odd to police your own thoughts.

"Hoping" for a wedding, especially to the extent of putting 6 figures aside for it, actually does affect people -- it's a very large financial action taken in connection with and in support of outdated/dying patriarchal thinking.

Wtf. You people sound like you aren’t close to your kids. I’m still saving for college for my teens but once I’ve cleared that hurdle, I’ll happily start saving for a wedding. And I’ll tell my kids that I’m doing it. And if they choose not to get married, I’ll still love them just as much as if they do. My love is unconditional but weddings are expensive AF and I think they will be thrilled to know that if that day comes that we have something saved to help.

Of course you will.

60k 14 years ago. No regrets it was beautiful.

12k about 12 years ago. We paid for it ourselves. It was a fun wedding but I'd elope if I did it again. I think the main reason I had the wedding was this belief it would help create a kind of community around our marriage, a feeling of support. But we're from very dysfunctional families and it didn't work that way. So knowing what I know now, I'd have done a courthouse wedding with a catered lunch after for our very closest friends and any family who wanted to come, and then spend the rest on a bigger honeymoon. We traveled some pre-kids but would have loved to do more, and now it's hard, so we would have gotten a lot out of it.

Anonymous wrote:Do you have any regrets about the cost of it? What would you have spent less on?

My parents borrowed seven grand from their best friend gave me a country club wedding I didn’t want in the 1980s .

My kids now even though we can afford it nope they get cash for an investment of property no wedding.