Anonymous wrote:Just got back from my 35th college reunion. I really care about how I look. I am amazed at how many women just give up. You have to be much more intentional and put the time in. Working out, hair, make up, nails, clothes, botox, facials, microneedling, etc. It's fine if you are not into all of that, but it all makes a difference. No make up when you are getting older makes you look terrible.

Yes, it takes time and money, neither of which are infinite. Perhaps your former classmates were spending theirs on things that meant more to them than the prettiness of the packaging.

In the big scheme of things, there is a relatively brief moment of time when you can capitalize on your appearance - for both men and women. No one is 25 forever.

The rest of things start to matter more and more as you go up the age scale.

Just got back from my 35th college reunion. I really care about how I look. I am amazed at how many women just give up. You have to be much more intentional and put the time in. Working out, hair, make up, nails, clothes, botox, facials, microneedling, etc. It's fine if you are not into all of that, but it all makes a difference. No make up when you are getting older makes you look terrible.

Anonymous wrote:One of my dearest friends is about to die of metastatic breast cancer before she turns 53.

Aging is a privilege. I “cope with it” by knowing that.

This is how I feel (I am so sorry about your friend, pp). At almost 55, the herd is thinning...I am priviledged to be alive and pretty healthy. I still have a parent and aunts. My kids are healthy adults.

I am losing my hearing, so I got hearing aids and decorated them! I have cat unicorn stickers on them (they actually make all kinds of them). I'm not a huge makeup person, but I do moisturize a lot. I do actually cover my gray hair-I dye it my natural color, but it's my one vanity.

Also, at this point in life, I don't really care what other people think!

Stay out of the sun, get a good haircut and color, exercise and stand up straight. It will take 10 years off anyone.

Don't spend your life relying upon your looks

There's not only way less return on your investments over time, but increasingly you make yourself a victim of people trying to capitalize on your willingness to keep up increasingly dubious methods to maintain some kind of delusion that you will somehow live forever.

One of my most remembered Jackie O quotes from when she discovered she was dying from lymphoma was along the lines of "what was all that effort for ?"

Even Joan Crawford who spent her life trying to control everything that went into her mouth and keep up her skin or whatever ... she died at 71.

Honestly, I embrace it as much as I can, try to keep moving and make healthy choices. So what if I have wrinkles. I lost one of my dearest friends to breast cancer when she was 48. Changed the way I look at what's important.

Anonymous wrote:Before 40, it's all about the external.
After 40, it's all about the internal.
Most people can't make the transition.

73 and external matters to me!
In my opinion, older women benefit from immaculate grooming, the best clothes and accessories they can afford, great posture. Elegance is possible at any age.

Anonymous wrote:HRT

Obviously this isn’t the answer for everyone but HRT plus thyroid medication made a tremendous difference for me. I use sunscreen and Bonjout balm, some mascara for make up. I exercise daily (varies from things like weights for 20 minutes, walk 3-4 miles, tennis, other cardio). I eat well, but honestly do not obsess about this by counting macros etc. I probably don’t drink enough water because I hate those water jugs people are lugging around and I’m from the 1990s. Try to challenge my brain by doing new things, socialize but prioritize sleep. Still drink some alcohol but that translates to a few glasses of wine a week. Moderation is your friend.

Try to think about what really matters in life and prune the rest.

Before 40, it's all about the external.
After 40, it's all about the internal.
Most people can't make the transition.