Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We opted for state school because ds is heading to grad school after and we want to save college savings for that stage. Same hhi as you but retirement savings are lower. It's been great not having to worry about the financial piece of college at all.

This is exactly the issue. The OP doesn't know at this point what their kids are going to do after college.

We were full pay for our DS at a T20 and now DD just enrolled in a top school that is just under $100K a year. Older kid has graduated and working and will be going to grad school hopefully this year. We will pay part of it and his employer will pay the rest. Younger one wants to go to med school or PA school. We will pay for that as well. We are retired, but have investments of $15M+. Only debt is $400K on a 1.3M home. The $15M does not include the home value, but does include the $370K 529 for our younger kid. We feel very comfortable with these choices due to our financial situation. The OP is considering something similar, but they would be taking a huge risk, unless they are expecting a windfall of money (inheritance, etc.).

IDK about huge risk. I think it's more a question of comfort level and having a clear picture of what this means for the long run in terms of savings, potential child participation and some loans, than actual financial ruin or risk. My dh graduated from grad school with a huge amount of debt due to loans, but it's not hindered our lives in huge ways at all and it's now repaid. Would I prefer my dcs not deal with loans and start off with debt? Absolutely, which is why we're doing things the way we are.

OP, do you want to leave your kids with an inheritance or do expect to spend all your money? Serious question. Because if it is going to be somewhere in between, you could end up at end of life with no money and being a burden on your kids. Consider this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I were you OP, I would look at inexpensive public universities or schools that offer merit. You don't have enough saved to afford an Ivy and your kid will be taking on incredible debt assuming you don't qualify for aid. If your kid applies and gets into one of those elite schools, it will be even worse to have to turn it down. Focus on schools you can realistically pull off financially. Depending on what your kid wants to do, he might have to go to graduate school...even more expense.

I say this as someone who paid full freight to two very expensive private universities, but we had all that money saved for each kid in the 529 on top of our $13M net worth.

Oh FFS, what planet do you live in where 4.2 million in net worth takes on debt to go to college????

$1M of that net worth is a home. So in reality it is only $3M+. Of That $3M, there is tax liability on the retirement accounts of over $2.4M, which I calculate to be at least $600K. So there really isn't much left for this couple's retirement because their current income is barely big enough to keep up with expenses ($280K including dividends). Like I said in a PP, the couple should think hard about their future plans and consider what lifestyle they plan for their retirement.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We opted for state school because ds is heading to grad school after and we want to save college savings for that stage. Same hhi as you but retirement savings are lower. It's been great not having to worry about the financial piece of college at all.

This is exactly the issue. The OP doesn't know at this point what their kids are going to do after college.

We were full pay for our DS at a T20 and now DD just enrolled in a top school that is just under $100K a year. Older kid has graduated and working and will be going to grad school hopefully this year. We will pay part of it and his employer will pay the rest. Younger one wants to go to med school or PA school. We will pay for that as well. We are retired, but have investments of $15M+. Only debt is $400K on a 1.3M home. The $15M does not include the home value, but does include the $370K 529 for our younger kid. We feel very comfortable with these choices due to our financial situation. The OP is considering something similar, but they would be taking a huge risk, unless they are expecting a windfall of money (inheritance, etc.).

IDK about huge risk. I think it's more a question of comfort level and having a clear picture of what this means for the long run in terms of savings, potential child participation and some loans, than actual financial ruin or risk. My dh graduated from grad school with a huge amount of debt due to loans, but it's not hindered our lives in huge ways at all and it's now repaid. Would I prefer my dcs not deal with loans and start off with debt? Absolutely, which is why we're doing things the way we are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have the money to send both kids to full private. Inlcuding ivy if they get in. They certainly don’t need to be chasing merit but it sounds like you’re going to ask them to? Or go public? Maybe you should step back and think about your priorities. What do you want to do with your money? Invest in your kids? Set up the next generation? You aren’t going to run out of money. Even though it sounds like you’re worried about that. If the market tanks 30%, you’re not going to need access to all of it in the next 24 months - so you’re going to do what you did in the dot com crash and 2008 - wait it out until it comes back.

They only have $150K saved for college per kid. That's in-state pricing, not sending both kids to $90K+ schools.

IMO, we would explain the finances to the kids, discuss their plans (might they want/need graduate/professional school?) and determine the right path. But whatever you do, unless you are 100% committed to 90K+ per year, make certain your kid knows that, so they can have 75-80% schools that are targets and safeties that will be around in-state pricing (or just a bit more). DOn't let your kid think they can attend Harvard if they get in if you are not really willing to pay for that. Also if that's the case, don't let them apply to 80%+ schools that are 90K/year.

This is OP. We have $300k in college savings accounts. I clearly identified all the other sources of funds we have which is in the millions. We also have one more year for one kid and four more years for the other. There’s no doubt that a family with $4.25 million in net worth can afford this. It’s silly to pretend otherwise. As I’ve said our investments increase by more than $100k pretty much every year. We could pay in full and so see our net worth continue to increase.

To be honest, I was expecting some more insightful replies than this. What I’m struggling with — and I thought I’d made clear in my OP — is whether it makes sense to spend that much money on an Ivy League education.

Uh, rude. Go ask AI then. It will stroke your ego as it responds.

Yes OP seems to want to only want to hear, "Hey! You have nothing to worry about!! You are so rich and lucky!! Spend the $$ on the pricey college!!" Because the truth is, OP has already decided and came here to get justification.

I think OP wants to hear that it’s not worth it to alleviate any guilt when they says no to their kid.

What I think is that they have no idea what it takes to get into an Ivy. If their student is actually competitive and unique enough to get in on his own (am assuming no curated by a private college counselor vibe) then they should absolutely pay because that is one amazing kid.

I think the harder question is full pay top 25 private schools. Their student may get into one of those and it is likely a superior educational experience over a state flagship. What to do?

Except many of us don't believe it's a "superior education experience over a state flagship". The main difference (IMO) is the smaller class size and the opportunities that affords. But going to the honors program at many state U offers some similar perks.
So if you have the $$$, then yes it's worth it. But if you don't, then don't take on debt (or have to delay your retirement plans). Because 95% of what someone does in life has to do with their drive, work ethic and what they do in life, not where they attend.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have the money to send both kids to full private. Inlcuding ivy if they get in. They certainly don’t need to be chasing merit but it sounds like you’re going to ask them to? Or go public? Maybe you should step back and think about your priorities. What do you want to do with your money? Invest in your kids? Set up the next generation? You aren’t going to run out of money. Even though it sounds like you’re worried about that. If the market tanks 30%, you’re not going to need access to all of it in the next 24 months - so you’re going to do what you did in the dot com crash and 2008 - wait it out until it comes back.

They only have $150K saved for college per kid. That's in-state pricing, not sending both kids to $90K+ schools.

IMO, we would explain the finances to the kids, discuss their plans (might they want/need graduate/professional school?) and determine the right path. But whatever you do, unless you are 100% committed to 90K+ per year, make certain your kid knows that, so they can have 75-80% schools that are targets and safeties that will be around in-state pricing (or just a bit more). DOn't let your kid think they can attend Harvard if they get in if you are not really willing to pay for that. Also if that's the case, don't let them apply to 80%+ schools that are 90K/year.

This is OP. We have $300k in college savings accounts. I clearly identified all the other sources of funds we have which is in the millions. We also have one more year for one kid and four more years for the other. There’s no doubt that a family with $4.25 million in net worth can afford this. It’s silly to pretend otherwise. As I’ve said our investments increase by more than $100k pretty much every year. We could pay in full and so see our net worth continue to increase.

To be honest, I was expecting some more insightful replies than this. What I’m struggling with — and I thought I’d made clear in my OP — is whether it makes sense to spend that much money on an Ivy League education.

Well that is a choice you have to make. What might the kids need/want as grad school/professional school? Because at $4.25M net worth, I wouldn't pay $400K for undergrad and another $300-400K for each kid to attend grad school, unless I had that money already earmarked and saved. Because $4M is not that much for retirement if you are used to living a certain lifestyle. I wouldn't drain another $1M for my kids education. But If I had already saved it, or I had $8-10M+, then I might.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Value.

I have two kids going to private college (1 at a SLAC ranked in the 30s and 1 will be going to a top 10). In both schools, their class sizes and ability to get the classes they need mattered a whole lot to both students.

The student going to the SLAC ranked in the 30s also got into two top 30 ranked state universities. We are in DC so no good state schools in state and the highly ranked state schools were a wash on cost for us. She also could have gone to lesser ranked state schools for half the price of what we are paying. We let her choose where to go to school.

The value of a name brand on a students resume is real when trying to get a job or applying to grad school.

The value of small classes and other niceties that come with a private school are also real.

This is a personal choice, I valued my kids getting a good education and being in a supportive environment. There are definitely schools I would not have paid 90K/year for.

You are also going to learn that admissions is more complicated than you realize and your kid may not do as well as you presume. It is a hard lesson for us parents.

We are similarly situated financially to your family. This is a personal choice. What opportunities do you want for your kids?

This is OP. I am very well aware of how complicated admissions are and am under no illusions of where my kid will or won’t get in. I’m not sure what gave you the impression otherwise. The entire question is about how and if we make these decisions in advance and whether he even bothers to apply!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I were you OP, I would look at inexpensive public universities or schools that offer merit. You don't have enough saved to afford an Ivy and your kid will be taking on incredible debt assuming you don't qualify for aid. If your kid applies and gets into one of those elite schools, it will be even worse to have to turn it down. Focus on schools you can realistically pull off financially. Depending on what your kid wants to do, he might have to go to graduate school...even more expense.

I say this as someone who paid full freight to two very expensive private universities, but we had all that money saved for each kid in the 529 on top of our $13M net worth.

Oh FFS, what planet do you live in where 4.2 million in net worth takes on debt to go to college????

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have the money to send both kids to full private. Inlcuding ivy if they get in. They certainly don’t need to be chasing merit but it sounds like you’re going to ask them to? Or go public? Maybe you should step back and think about your priorities. What do you want to do with your money? Invest in your kids? Set up the next generation? You aren’t going to run out of money. Even though it sounds like you’re worried about that. If the market tanks 30%, you’re not going to need access to all of it in the next 24 months - so you’re going to do what you did in the dot com crash and 2008 - wait it out until it comes back.

They only have $150K saved for college per kid. That's in-state pricing, not sending both kids to $90K+ schools.

IMO, we would explain the finances to the kids, discuss their plans (might they want/need graduate/professional school?) and determine the right path. But whatever you do, unless you are 100% committed to 90K+ per year, make certain your kid knows that, so they can have 75-80% schools that are targets and safeties that will be around in-state pricing (or just a bit more). DOn't let your kid think they can attend Harvard if they get in if you are not really willing to pay for that. Also if that's the case, don't let them apply to 80%+ schools that are 90K/year.

This is OP. We have $300k in college savings accounts. I clearly identified all the other sources of funds we have which is in the millions. We also have one more year for one kid and four more years for the other. There’s no doubt that a family with $4.25 million in net worth can afford this. It’s silly to pretend otherwise. As I’ve said our investments increase by more than $100k pretty much every year. We could pay in full and so see our net worth continue to increase.

To be honest, I was expecting some more insightful replies than this. What I’m struggling with — and I thought I’d made clear in my OP — is whether it makes sense to spend that much money on an Ivy League education.

Uh, rude. Go ask AI then. It will stroke your ego as it responds.

Yes OP seems to want to only want to hear, "Hey! You have nothing to worry about!! You are so rich and lucky!! Spend the $$ on the pricey college!!" Because the truth is, OP has already decided and came here to get justification.

I think OP wants to hear that it’s not worth it to alleviate any guilt when they says no to their kid.

What I think is that they have no idea what it takes to get into an Ivy. If their student is actually competitive and unique enough to get in on his own (am assuming no curated by a private college counselor vibe) then they should absolutely pay because that is one amazing kid.

I think the harder question is full pay top 25 private schools. Their student may get into one of those and it is likely a superior educational experience over a state flagship. What to do?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We opted for state school because ds is heading to grad school after and we want to save college savings for that stage. Same hhi as you but retirement savings are lower. It's been great not having to worry about the financial piece of college at all.

This is exactly the issue. The OP doesn't know at this point what their kids are going to do after college.

We were full pay for our DS at a T20 and now DD just enrolled in a top school that is just under $100K a year. Older kid has graduated and working and will be going to grad school hopefully this year. We will pay part of it and his employer will pay the rest. Younger one wants to go to med school or PA school. We will pay for that as well. We are retired, but have investments of $15M+. Only debt is $400K on a 1.3M home. The $15M does not include the home value, but does include the $370K 529 for our younger kid. We feel very comfortable with these choices due to our financial situation. The OP is considering something similar, but they would be taking a huge risk, unless they are expecting a windfall of money (inheritance, etc.).

Anonymous wrote:If I were you OP, I would look at inexpensive public universities or schools that offer merit. You don't have enough saved to afford an Ivy and your kid will be taking on incredible debt assuming you don't qualify for aid. If your kid applies and gets into one of those elite schools, it will be even worse to have to turn it down. Focus on schools you can realistically pull off financially. Depending on what your kid wants to do, he might have to go to graduate school...even more expense.

I say this as someone who paid full freight to two very expensive private universities, but we had all that money saved for each kid in the 529 on top of our $13M net worth.

Anonymous wrote:We opted for state school because ds is heading to grad school after and we want to save college savings for that stage. Same hhi as you but retirement savings are lower. It's been great not having to worry about the financial piece of college at all.

Anonymous wrote:Value.

I have two kids going to private college (1 at a SLAC ranked in the 30s and 1 will be going to a top 10). In both schools, their class sizes and ability to get the classes they need mattered a whole lot to both students.

The student going to the SLAC ranked in the 30s also got into two top 30 ranked state universities. We are in DC so no good state schools in state and the highly ranked state schools were a wash on cost for us. She also could have gone to lesser ranked state schools for half the price of what we are paying. We let her choose where to go to school.

The value of a name brand on a students resume is real when trying to get a job or applying to grad school.

The value of small classes and other niceties that come with a private school are also real.

This is a personal choice, I valued my kids getting a good education and being in a supportive environment. There are definitely schools I would not have paid 90K/year for.

You are also going to learn that admissions is more complicated than you realize and your kid may not do as well as you presume. It is a hard lesson for us parents.

We are similarly situated financially to your family. This is a personal choice. What opportunities do you want for your kids?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have the money to send both kids to full private. Inlcuding ivy if they get in. They certainly don’t need to be chasing merit but it sounds like you’re going to ask them to? Or go public? Maybe you should step back and think about your priorities. What do you want to do with your money? Invest in your kids? Set up the next generation? You aren’t going to run out of money. Even though it sounds like you’re worried about that. If the market tanks 30%, you’re not going to need access to all of it in the next 24 months - so you’re going to do what you did in the dot com crash and 2008 - wait it out until it comes back.

They only have $150K saved for college per kid. That's in-state pricing, not sending both kids to $90K+ schools.

IMO, we would explain the finances to the kids, discuss their plans (might they want/need graduate/professional school?) and determine the right path. But whatever you do, unless you are 100% committed to 90K+ per year, make certain your kid knows that, so they can have 75-80% schools that are targets and safeties that will be around in-state pricing (or just a bit more). DOn't let your kid think they can attend Harvard if they get in if you are not really willing to pay for that. Also if that's the case, don't let them apply to 80%+ schools that are 90K/year.

This is OP. We have $300k in college savings accounts. I clearly identified all the other sources of funds we have which is in the millions. We also have one more year for one kid and four more years for the other. There’s no doubt that a family with $4.25 million in net worth can afford this. It’s silly to pretend otherwise. As I’ve said our investments increase by more than $100k pretty much every year. We could pay in full and so see our net worth continue to increase.

To be honest, I was expecting some more insightful replies than this. What I’m struggling with — and I thought I’d made clear in my OP — is whether it makes sense to spend that much money on an Ivy League education.

Uh, rude. Go ask AI then. It will stroke your ego as it responds.

Yes OP seems to want to only want to hear, "Hey! You have nothing to worry about!! You are so rich and lucky!! Spend the $$ on the pricey college!!" Because the truth is, OP has already decided and came here to get justification.

I think OP wants to hear that it’s not worth it to alleviate any guilt when they says no to their kid.

What I think is that they have no idea what it takes to get into an Ivy. If their student is actually competitive and unique enough to get in on his own (am assuming no curated by a private college counselor vibe) then they should absolutely pay because that is one amazing kid.

I think the harder question is full pay top 25 private schools. Their student may get into one of those and it is likely a superior educational experience over a state flagship. What to do?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have the money to send both kids to full private. Inlcuding ivy if they get in. They certainly don’t need to be chasing merit but it sounds like you’re going to ask them to? Or go public? Maybe you should step back and think about your priorities. What do you want to do with your money? Invest in your kids? Set up the next generation? You aren’t going to run out of money. Even though it sounds like you’re worried about that. If the market tanks 30%, you’re not going to need access to all of it in the next 24 months - so you’re going to do what you did in the dot com crash and 2008 - wait it out until it comes back.

They only have $150K saved for college per kid. That's in-state pricing, not sending both kids to $90K+ schools.

IMO, we would explain the finances to the kids, discuss their plans (might they want/need graduate/professional school?) and determine the right path. But whatever you do, unless you are 100% committed to 90K+ per year, make certain your kid knows that, so they can have 75-80% schools that are targets and safeties that will be around in-state pricing (or just a bit more). DOn't let your kid think they can attend Harvard if they get in if you are not really willing to pay for that. Also if that's the case, don't let them apply to 80%+ schools that are 90K/year.

This is OP. We have $300k in college savings accounts. I clearly identified all the other sources of funds we have which is in the millions. We also have one more year for one kid and four more years for the other. There’s no doubt that a family with $4.25 million in net worth can afford this. It’s silly to pretend otherwise. As I’ve said our investments increase by more than $100k pretty much every year. We could pay in full and so see our net worth continue to increase.

To be honest, I was expecting some more insightful replies than this. What I’m struggling with — and I thought I’d made clear in my OP — is whether it makes sense to spend that much money on an Ivy League education.

Uh, rude. Go ask AI then. It will stroke your ego as it responds.

Yes OP seems to want to only want to hear, "Hey! You have nothing to worry about!! You are so rich and lucky!! Spend the $$ on the pricey college!!" Because the truth is, OP has already decided and came here to get justification.

I think OP wants to hear that it’s not worth it to alleviate any guilt when they says no to their kid.

What I think is that they have no idea what it takes to get into an Ivy. If their student is actually competitive and unique enough to get in on his own (am assuming no curated by a private college counselor vibe) then they should absolutely pay because that is one amazing kid.

I think the harder question is full pay top 25 private schools. Their student may get into one of those and it is likely a superior educational experience over a state flagship. What to do?

Except many of us don't believe it's a "superior education experience over a state flagship". The main difference (IMO) is the smaller class size and the opportunities that affords. But going to the honors program at many state U offers some similar perks.
So if you have the $$$, then yes it's worth it. But if you don't, then don't take on debt (or have to delay your retirement plans). Because 95% of what someone does in life has to do with their drive, work ethic and what they do in life, not where they attend.