Anonymous wrote:The shaming of parents whose kids don't drive needs to stop.

Learning to drive at a young age is actually not the total perk you think it is. Brains take a long time to mature, and contrary to what a poster said, years of teen experience do not make up for immaturity. A young adult who has just learned to drive and integrated all the info in a 20 year old brain, for example, may be actually a more responsible driver than another 20 year old who integrated the info at 16. Learning later can mean learning better.

I don't even agree that it's logistically more complex to learn to drive as an adult. College is not more time-consuming than high school, because students usually don't have all the obligatory extra-curriculars that high schoolers have to do to impress admission officers. They have to time to learn if they wish.

It seems to me that the only perk of driving as a younger teen is home logistics, when parents don't want to drive their kids around anymore. For families who don't have that problem, and/or who live in semi-urban or urban areas with good public transport, that pressure does not exist.

I lived in Paris as a teen and got my license at 19. I didn't drive regularly until much later, to drive my oldest to preschool. I am a responsible driver.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is like this too. Anxious and not interested. I don’t care, she has to learn to drive. It’s a non-negotiable skill she needs in life beyond high school.

I have an aunt who, likely, is ASD but my grandparents surely didn’t know that raising her in the 60s and 70s. They coddled and pacified her and never made her do anything uncomfortable. She moved back in with them in 1995 when her roommates all married and then she never left. My grandmother went kid to an assisted living community last year and it sent my aunt into a literal mental tailspin. My grandmother has never been better but my aunt CANNOT cope with any aspect of adult life on her own . Intellectually she can, she holds a job, has tons of money saved, drives etc but she has spent her whole life never pushing herself through any discomfort and now she’s absolutely drowning. Can’t cook, but won’t learn. Believes she’s broke (living in a fully paid off house) because she has to pay utilities now. She’s scared of everything- driving to a city, public parking, trying new food. I think of her often when making choices for my kids, how sometimes never pushing them to do necessary but hard things is unintentionally cruel and sets them up for difficulties later on that they simply become too mentally rigid to manage.

I have an ASD young adult. Perhaps walk a mile in their shoes before becoming so...awful.

Anonymous wrote:I plan to teach my teen at 16 when she turns in 4 months and have her get a permit to do so, but we live in DC. I maybe move the car once every two weeks or so just to move it. We only have one car. I do not see the need to get an actual license at this point in time because there’s nowhere to drive. It’s super expensive to add her to the insurance for no benefit I can see at this juncture.

Anonymous wrote:The shaming of parents whose kids don't drive needs to stop.

Learning to drive at a young age is actually not the total perk you think it is. Brains take a long time to mature, and contrary to what a poster said, years of teen experience do not make up for immaturity. A young adult who has just learned to drive and integrated all the info in a 20 year old brain, for example, may be actually a more responsible driver than another 20 year old who integrated the info at 16. Learning later can mean learning better.

I don't even agree that it's logistically more complex to learn to drive as an adult. College is not more time-consuming than high school, because students usually don't have all the obligatory extra-curriculars that high schoolers have to do to impress admission officers. They have to time to learn if they wish.

It seems to me that the only perk of driving as a younger teen is home logistics, when parents don't want to drive their kids around anymore. For families who don't have that problem, and/or who live in semi-urban or urban areas with good public transport, that pressure does not exist.

I lived in Paris as a teen and got my license at 19. I didn't drive regularly until much later, to drive my oldest to preschool. I am a responsible driver.

Anonymous wrote:My DD is a sophomore and age 16.5. She has taken the driving class (I forced it last summer when she had more time) but now is not interested in learning to drive. She is so busy with school and activities that I don't feel like forcing it. At what point do you force it? Or, do you not and let them decide when it is time?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Learning to drive should be a priority over one-or a few more-AP classes or one-or a few more-ECs. It really is that important. And it's your duty, parents, to make sure it happens.

Parents, imo, shame on you for not seeing that it happens.

Drivers Ed over the summer and practice time with mom or dad should NOT affect your high school course load or course selections or serious ECs at all.

Many Asians and Manhattanites waited to move for college or an internship to a more drivable city to try freeway, highway, urban driving classes in their extra time.

Anonymous wrote:The shaming of parents whose kids don't drive needs to stop.

Learning to drive at a young age is actually not the total perk you think it is. Brains take a long time to mature, and contrary to what a poster said, years of teen experience do not make up for immaturity. A young adult who has just learned to drive and integrated all the info in a 20 year old brain, for example, may be actually a more responsible driver than another 20 year old who integrated the info at 16. Learning later can mean learning better.

I don't even agree that it's logistically more complex to learn to drive as an adult. College is not more time-consuming than high school, because students usually don't have all the obligatory extra-curriculars that high schoolers have to do to impress admission officers. They have to time to learn if they wish.

It seems to me that the only perk of driving as a younger teen is home logistics, when parents don't want to drive their kids around anymore. For families who don't have that problem, and/or who live in semi-urban or urban areas with good public transport, that pressure does not exist.

I lived in Paris as a teen and got my license at 19. I didn't drive regularly until much later, to drive my oldest to preschool. I am a responsible driver.

Anonymous wrote:Learning to drive should be a priority over one-or a few more-AP classes or one-or a few more-ECs. It really is that important. And it's your duty, parents, to make sure it happens.

Parents, imo, shame on you for not seeing that it happens.

Anonymous wrote:Learning to drive should be a priority over one-or a few more-AP classes or one-or a few more-ECs. It really is that important. And it's your duty, parents, to make sure it happens.

Parents, imo, shame on you for not seeing that it happens.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the criticism with this generation's disinterest in driving is justified, but if OP's kid is too busy, that's a different thing.

My kid is not old enough, but almost there, and she's really, absurdly busy. I can imagine her being even busier next year and saying, yeah we gotta put this off, there's no way I can pull focus from other things rn.

I agree it's an important life skill and it should be taught sooner than later, but waiting a few months (summer?) to me is no big deal and even appropriate.

But OPs kid already did drivers training. So how is she now “too busy” to actually practice driving? I’m assuming parents are driving her everywhere to all the things that make her so busy.