Anonymous
04/26/2026 13:33
Subject: Keeping girls in sports
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My varsity athlete followed a different path than everyone else on the thread I think. Played mostly rec and all-stars / select, but took lessons to specialize in a position. That kept it fun but not intense. But she had friends who followed the same path and definitely hit the drop-out point, so I don't think her path is a guarantee of anything. Having multiple daughters I have seen over and over again that sometimes early specialization really works for a girl. Sometimes it really doesn't. Sometimes kids will bounce to a new sport even in high school. Sometimes kids will act like they aren't interested and yet keep playing. There are SO many variables.
I think the biggest things is: know your own daughter, make sure being active and involved in sport is a team value, and support her taking things the direction she wants to take them (with a little pushing on follow-through where needed, but again know your kid).
So are you saying that your kids only played one or two sports their whole lives?
We did a little dabbling in the preschool years but other than a year of swim she picked softball only at 8, her choice.
Look I'm not saying it is the right answer. I'm saying it was right for her.
That is the way my daughter was with basketball. I think she figured out how the politics worked and the coaches in the other sports just weren't going to pay attention to her. She made the decision. It sort of impacts our younger son also, because she's pretty much told him soccer and swimming sucks.
She just gets considerable enjoyment out of basketball, very focused comes out of every practice or game glowing. She wouldn't let me drop summer rec swim though, that is still fun, but no more tryouts for club swimming.
Anonymous
04/25/2026 23:50
Subject: Keeping girls in sports
Anonymous wrote:
Sadly, I feel this is true. I blame the so called non-profits who get exclusive use of the county turf fields and run the rec programs. Then, they use the rec programs to heavily recruit and promote FOMO for their travel program. They take most of the rec kids and tun the rec kids into 2k per year travel kids. -The rec program is decimated and no one really wants to play it by u13.
This is not true everywhere. Arlington has a thriving rec program at all ages. Focusing on the girls teams, they have 15 teams of high school aged players. Even at the younger ages, there is not a FOMO about travel for many families-- especially those where soccer is just one of many things they do.
My own kids were decent soccer players-- not likely travel quality but they never wanted to try out. Instead they kept playing on teams with their friend. It was about playing a game they loved.
Anonymous
04/24/2026 15:42
Subject: Keeping girls in sports
Interesting question. Some of this is definitely on your child's personality.
DS and DD both participated in the same levels of soccer through U10, but DD really took to it and is all in while DS played more so because he liked the game overall, hanging out with friends, etc.
DS's soccer level was never higher than the lowest level that allowed him to have a paid coach which was fine. It gave him something to do during the Fall and Spring and he played rec hoops with his buddies in the winter.
DD really got into it and decided to join the travel team at U10 which meant she had to move away from dance which she really liked.
Club soccer and the other associated trainings - speed, agility and strength training - has kept her busy and she is going to play at a large D1 university in college. It's been a great outlet for her.
Both kids started the exact same, but ended up in two very different spots and we didn't treat them any differently.
DS and DD both participated in the same levels of soccer through U10, but DD really took to it and is all in while DS played more so because he liked the game overall, hanging out with friends, etc.
DS's soccer level was never higher than the lowest level that allowed him to have a paid coach which was fine. It gave him something to do during the Fall and Spring and he played rec hoops with his buddies in the winter.
DD really got into it and decided to join the travel team at U10 which meant she had to move away from dance which she really liked.
Club soccer and the other associated trainings - speed, agility and strength training - has kept her busy and she is going to play at a large D1 university in college. It's been a great outlet for her.
Both kids started the exact same, but ended up in two very different spots and we didn't treat them any differently.
Anonymous
04/23/2026 23:27
Subject: Keeping girls in sports
Anonymous wrote:I have this same question but for boys! It seems like if your kid plays soccer as a kindergartner on a mini-kicks style rec team, and has fun, and is good at it, the expectation is to have him in competitive U8 travel ball by second grade, and if you opt out of that, all that's left of the rec program by age 7 or 8 is the kids who have never played soccer before, or the kids without much athletic talent or much desire to play, since all of the moderately athletic kids who enjoy sports have moved on to a travel team. there seems to be zero middle ground between training for 6 hours a week, and kicking the ball around without a purpose with kids who don't want to be there. at age 7.
Sadly, I feel this is true. I blame the so called non-profits who get exclusive use of the county turf fields and run the rec programs. Then, they use the rec programs to heavily recruit and promote FOMO for their travel program. They take most of the rec kids and tun the rec kids into 2k per year travel kids. -The rec program is decimated and no one really wants to play it by u13.
Anonymous
04/23/2026 20:54
Subject: Keeping girls in sports
Anonymous wrote:I think kids should try a lot of stuff when they are young and then stick with something they like. Around here, the problem is that high school sports are too competitive -so kids with interest may not have a spot on the high school team and rec teams thin out around then too. I think developing an interest in a more life long sport can be important - running/walking/golf/swimming. Also, college can provide opportunities to try new things - crew, ultimate frisbee, intramural sports.
Rock climbing, swim and other sports that can be done individually and/or without competition in a group can be great lifelong exercise.
Anonymous
04/23/2026 20:14
Subject: Re:Keeping girls in sports
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I have an athletic daughter still playing two sports in high school.
We did not have her do any travel sports until middle school (which is 6th grade where we are). She continued regularly with about 4-5 sports recreationally until middle school. We had her try everything and focused on keeping her with friends and followed her lead.
I think avoiding early specialization is key. Early exposure isn't a bad thing, and certain sports like figure skating and gymnastics require it to succeed, but just don't get sucked into specialization. My oldest kid is now in high school, and the kids who didn't specialize until later caught up and, in some cases, passed the kids who specialized. Just focus on developing athletes who love sports and movements, and something will work out for them. Especially in the early years, it's all about building an athletic base.
This. It’s so important to be exposed to a big variety and to stay in a big variety of sports, since most kids need consistent exposure to develop enough proficiency to actually enjoy a sport. And puberty changes so much, so optionality is really key. But you can also start to tell a lot about your kids’ athletic orientation as they age.
Depends on sport boo
Anonymous
04/23/2026 20:12
Subject: Keeping girls in sports
Anonymous wrote:I think the most important thing is to impart a sense of athleticism for your kids... this will serve them well in their life as they will continue doing something - staying more fit and healthy.
Not everyone has a sense of athleticism and not all athletes continue staying active. Thinking like this makes some parents think it’s a necessity to play sports or you’re doomed. I’m from a family of athletes and dancers some professional but not all of us. There’s no real difference between us as adults. You don’t need athleticism to stay slim and active.
Anonymous
04/23/2026 18:39
Subject: Re:Keeping girls in sports
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I have an athletic daughter still playing two sports in high school.
We did not have her do any travel sports until middle school (which is 6th grade where we are). She continued regularly with about 4-5 sports recreationally until middle school. We had her try everything and focused on keeping her with friends and followed her lead.
I think avoiding early specialization is key. Early exposure isn't a bad thing, and certain sports like figure skating and gymnastics require it to succeed, but just don't get sucked into specialization. My oldest kid is now in high school, and the kids who didn't specialize until later caught up and, in some cases, passed the kids who specialized. Just focus on developing athletes who love sports and movements, and something will work out for them. Especially in the early years, it's all about building an athletic base.
This. It’s so important to be exposed to a big variety and to stay in a big variety of sports, since most kids need consistent exposure to develop enough proficiency to actually enjoy a sport. And puberty changes so much, so optionality is really key. But you can also start to tell a lot about your kids’ athletic orientation as they age.
Anonymous
04/23/2026 18:10
Subject: Re:Keeping girls in sports
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:When your kid is running like this at 4-5 yrs old, you know she's got some innate talent. She's now thriving at the highest soccer level for U13 without us pushing her at all. Our job basically is to not f' it up.
https://imgur.com/JxjMfgz
why you sending pics of your kids here?
It's from 7 years ago and I'm not from "here" so yeah not too worried.
Weird
Also, which kid is mine and who am I - get it? Get off your high horse.
Pretty obvious which one is yours.
Anonymous
04/23/2026 17:41
Subject: Re:Keeping girls in sports
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:When your kid is running like this at 4-5 yrs old, you know she's got some innate talent. She's now thriving at the highest soccer level for U13 without us pushing her at all. Our job basically is to not f' it up.
https://imgur.com/JxjMfgz
why you sending pics of your kids here?
It's from 7 years ago and I'm not from "here" so yeah not too worried.
Weird
Also, which kid is mine and who am I - get it? Get off your high horse.
Anonymous
04/23/2026 17:33
Subject: Re:Keeping girls in sports
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:When your kid is running like this at 4-5 yrs old, you know she's got some innate talent. She's now thriving at the highest soccer level for U13 without us pushing her at all. Our job basically is to not f' it up.
https://imgur.com/JxjMfgz
why you sending pics of your kids here?
It's from 7 years ago and I'm not from "here" so yeah not too worried.
Weird
Thanks, I don't give AF about your anon comments about my parenting choices. Your kid is not fast or athletic? To the original point - when a kid shows this kind of aptitude it's super important to foster it. We are doing that and letting her make all the choices. She did not quit at U13.
Anonymous
04/23/2026 17:27
Subject: Re:Keeping girls in sports
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:When your kid is running like this at 4-5 yrs old, you know she's got some innate talent. She's now thriving at the highest soccer level for U13 without us pushing her at all. Our job basically is to not f' it up.
https://imgur.com/JxjMfgz
why you sending pics of your kids here?
It's from 7 years ago and I'm not from "here" so yeah not too worried.
Weird
Anonymous
04/23/2026 17:08
Subject: Re:Keeping girls in sports
Anonymous wrote:The options basically are:
(1) go “all in” with travel/specialization at an early age
(2) forgo all of that and just plan to join no-cut or less popular sports in middle & high school (track, cross country, wrestling, or a new sport being offered that needs players etc). Or play outside of school sports- like martial arts, rock climbing etc.
(3) play many sports at a rec level over the years & make the tail end of the high school roster…the travel kids can’t possibly take up ALL the roster spots can they?
(4) pay for a small private school where sports are (more or less) no-cut and/or move to an area with a smaller high school where it easier to make teams
Option 3 above is what a lot of parents hope for, I think. But- there will only be so many spots available. A lot of times those spots will go to kids who have certain physical attributes (like the 5’10” girl starting basketball late, or the 6’3” left handed pitcher who has only ever played rec baseball etc).
(1) worked for us with a kid who was up for it at every single checkpoint along the way