Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I experienced this at a TT girls school - starting in third grade my daughter knew whose parents were the big donors to the school and that those kids didn’t get into trouble if they misbehaved. In middle school, girls were getting extra time on standardized test and accommodations because of who their parents were. None of them were actually neurodivergent but were given twice the time for their ERBs with a doctor’s notes while kids who weren’t rich or powerful couldn’t get it WITH a doctor’s note. We got sick of it and left. Frankly, I didn’t trust them with my kid’s college exmissions. Talk to parents at these schools and ask what their kid reports. The thing I learned is that no one knows the unwritten rules of these places better than the kids who are in them, and the middle and upper parents know things the lower school parents don’t.

Was this a long time ago? My kids have been at a TT girls school for over a decade and have never taken ERBs.

My DD is at Brearley in the upper school. I have a vague recollection of her taking standardized tests in middle school, but I think it was so that the school could calibrate its curriculum against national standards. It was not for measuring the students at all, they didn't tell the parents or the kids the "scores" and I didn't give it another thought. I couldn't have cared less how she performed as an 11-year old on the ERB or whatever standardized test it was. I trusted the school's curriculum (and still do -- she has learned so much in that school and is leaps and bounds more educated than her same-aged relatives who go to public suburban schools in other parts of the country). And why would I care if students received extra time on a middle school standardized test that was meaningless and for which the students were not even told a score? (Frankly, I'm not even sure why their parents would want them to have extra time or how they even knew to ask for it when it barely registers in my mind that my kid took the tests; I think DD may have casually mentioned it once or twice during middle school but it was never a focus or big deal at all.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You’re Brearley Hating Mom? I thought your issue was with the curriculum?

More than one person can have a bad experience at a school. My beef with the place was the favoritism for the children of rich donors. It could have the best curriculum of any school ever, and I wouldn’t want to teach my kid to put up with bullies who got to bully because of their parent’s wealth. It’s gross, and my educated guess is it’s detrimental to longterm success for both the bullier and the bullied. All of you who care about connections forget that the uber wealthy tend to cluster anyway. Most of those kids ain’t going to have patience for your lack of superfunds and will ditch anyone who is inconvenient the moment they are inconvenient. What the Gargs said about Horace Mann echoes what I have heard over the years. Didn’t apply there for that reason when my kids were little.

My apologies. You sounded like her, but I shouldn't have jumped to that assumption . . . just like you shouldn't assume that HM is just how you "heard" it is. In my firsthand experience, it has not been like that at all.

It's her. She complained about standardized testing and rich girl bullies in her many rants as well. It's the same mom.

Anonymous wrote:

I’m the one who wrote about the TT girls school. It was Brearley, and I am not going to say where we went because of my girls’ privacy. What I wanted was really strong, rigorous academics and a kid with integrity and character who didn’t suck up to classmates who were “better” because of who their parents were, a kid who didn’t accept arcane aristocratic social rules in a country that doesn’t operate that way outside of a country club or two. I was surprised how openly okay other parents were with this stuff. I personally think it’s appalling to teach your kid to accept or exploit an unfair playing field— look at K-8, that is my advice.

She's baaaaaaaack. (Knew it was her before she named the school; lol.)

Anonymous wrote:I experienced this at a TT girls school - starting in third grade my daughter knew whose parents were the big donors to the school and that those kids didn’t get into trouble if they misbehaved. In middle school, girls were getting extra time on standardized test and accommodations because of who their parents were. None of them were actually neurodivergent but were given twice the time for their ERBs with a doctor’s notes while kids who weren’t rich or powerful couldn’t get it WITH a doctor’s note. We got sick of it and left. Frankly, I didn’t trust them with my kid’s college exmissions. Talk to parents at these schools and ask what their kid reports. The thing I learned is that no one knows the unwritten rules of these places better than the kids who are in them, and the middle and upper parents know things the lower school parents don’t.

Was this a long time ago? My kids have been at a TT girls school for over a decade and have never taken ERBs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:credible "gatekeeping" from "leadership roles" in middle school? ok, maybe.

Is someone from that family posting on this board? lol.

Why so dismissive? Would there be an agenda for them to say those things if not true?

Because there is no such thing in middle school. Cmon.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg Zara Gary and her entire family are Trump loving, immigrant hating hypocrites. Her shtick based on Indian mom stereotypes is so tired and pathetic. Her daughter gushes over Usha Vance, saying she made it permissible for Indian women to date white men. Hideous!

I'm not a Zarna fan but is what she's saying about her experience at HM valid? That's what I want to understand.

I posted above about my DS having a great experience at HM. We don't find favoritism to be a thing there, and overall the community has been warm, supportive, and friendly.

Zarna's experience is valid for Zarna, and she clearly has strong feelings about it. It's also clear that she had specific expectations about college placement, and I would offer that being hyper-focused on just a handful of "acceptable" colleges as the end goal is probably not a great platform from which to make decisions about your child's education.

If you're looking at HM for your DC, go on a tour and try to assess for yourself how you feel about the school and how your child may or may not thrive there.

Well, she is not unlike most Indians in chasing prestige as the only viable outcome.
So her priorities and expectations would definitely be different than another parent who has different priorities and expectations for the HM experience.

That's not at all what I meant. HM and similar schools attract people of all races and backgrounds that hold that point of view.

I was only able to get 3/4th of the way through before I had to turn it off. I’m probably more pro-public school than most folks in this chat, but even I found it amusing that two parents who could barely finish a complete thought, were trying to tell what the better school option was.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg Zara Gary and her entire family are Trump loving, immigrant hating hypocrites. Her shtick based on Indian mom stereotypes is so tired and pathetic. Her daughter gushes over Usha Vance, saying she made it permissible for Indian women to date white men. Hideous!

I'm not a Zarna fan but is what she's saying about her experience at HM valid? That's what I want to understand.

I posted above about my DS having a great experience at HM. We don't find favoritism to be a thing there, and overall the community has been warm, supportive, and friendly.

Zarna's experience is valid for Zarna, and she clearly has strong feelings about it. It's also clear that she had specific expectations about college placement, and I would offer that being hyper-focused on just a handful of "acceptable" colleges as the end goal is probably not a great platform from which to make decisions about your child's education.

If you're looking at HM for your DC, go on a tour and try to assess for yourself how you feel about the school and how your child may or may not thrive there.

Well, she is not unlike most Indians in chasing prestige as the only viable outcome.
So her priorities and expectations would definitely be different than another parent who has different priorities and expectations for the HM experience.

It's only bad when the brown people do it.

I've been around these parents and they are kind of one dimensional. Uninteresting.
And they openly talk about making money as their goal in life.
The native blacks in the US have far more personality, depth, and ..... compassion.

Lol you sound like a FOB yourself, they are the only ones who use phrases like "native blacks."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg Zara Gary and her entire family are Trump loving, immigrant hating hypocrites. Her shtick based on Indian mom stereotypes is so tired and pathetic. Her daughter gushes over Usha Vance, saying she made it permissible for Indian women to date white men. Hideous!

I'm not a Zarna fan but is what she's saying about her experience at HM valid? That's what I want to understand.

I posted above about my DS having a great experience at HM. We don't find favoritism to be a thing there, and overall the community has been warm, supportive, and friendly.

Zarna's experience is valid for Zarna, and she clearly has strong feelings about it. It's also clear that she had specific expectations about college placement, and I would offer that being hyper-focused on just a handful of "acceptable" colleges as the end goal is probably not a great platform from which to make decisions about your child's education.

If you're looking at HM for your DC, go on a tour and try to assess for yourself how you feel about the school and how your child may or may not thrive there.

Well, she is not unlike most Indians in chasing prestige as the only viable outcome.
So her priorities and expectations would definitely be different than another parent who has different priorities and expectations for the HM experience.

It's only bad when the brown people do it.

No, I can’t stand it no matter the race. Some of us are thrilled with Middlebury and Michigan. The parents who are Ivy or bust are exhausting.

And yet you specifically mentioned her ethnicity - I wonder why.

I wasn’t that poster. There are parents like that of all races, though I do agree with the poster, first generation Indian American parents have a higher likelihood of that attitude. There’s a middle ground - not hanging on the coattails of your families money but also not being so intense nobody with any social likeness wants to spend time around you.

It's totally fine to talk shit about other races, guys, as long as it's those smelly Indians with their weird food and strange ideas about wanting their kids to excel!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg Zara Gary and her entire family are Trump loving, immigrant hating hypocrites. Her shtick based on Indian mom stereotypes is so tired and pathetic. Her daughter gushes over Usha Vance, saying she made it permissible for Indian women to date white men. Hideous!

I'm not a Zarna fan but is what she's saying about her experience at HM valid? That's what I want to understand.

I posted above about my DS having a great experience at HM. We don't find favoritism to be a thing there, and overall the community has been warm, supportive, and friendly.

Zarna's experience is valid for Zarna, and she clearly has strong feelings about it. It's also clear that she had specific expectations about college placement, and I would offer that being hyper-focused on just a handful of "acceptable" colleges as the end goal is probably not a great platform from which to make decisions about your child's education.

If you're looking at HM for your DC, go on a tour and try to assess for yourself how you feel about the school and how your child may or may not thrive there.

Well, she is not unlike most Indians in chasing prestige as the only viable outcome.
So her priorities and expectations would definitely be different than another parent who has different priorities and expectations for the HM experience.

It's only bad when the brown people do it.

No, I can’t stand it no matter the race. Some of us are thrilled with Middlebury and Michigan. The parents who are Ivy or bust are exhausting.

And yet you specifically mentioned her ethnicity - I wonder why.

I wasn’t that poster. There are parents like that of all races, though I do agree with the poster, first generation Indian American parents have a higher likelihood of that attitude. There’s a middle ground - not hanging on the coattails of your families money but also not being so intense nobody with any social likeness wants to spend time around you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg Zara Gary and her entire family are Trump loving, immigrant hating hypocrites. Her shtick based on Indian mom stereotypes is so tired and pathetic. Her daughter gushes over Usha Vance, saying she made it permissible for Indian women to date white men. Hideous!

I'm not a Zarna fan but is what she's saying about her experience at HM valid? That's what I want to understand.

I posted above about my DS having a great experience at HM. We don't find favoritism to be a thing there, and overall the community has been warm, supportive, and friendly.

Zarna's experience is valid for Zarna, and she clearly has strong feelings about it. It's also clear that she had specific expectations about college placement, and I would offer that being hyper-focused on just a handful of "acceptable" colleges as the end goal is probably not a great platform from which to make decisions about your child's education.

If you're looking at HM for your DC, go on a tour and try to assess for yourself how you feel about the school and how your child may or may not thrive there.

Well, she is not unlike most Indians in chasing prestige as the only viable outcome.
So her priorities and expectations would definitely be different than another parent who has different priorities and expectations for the HM experience.

It's only bad when the brown people do it.

I've been around these parents and they are kind of one dimensional. Uninteresting.
And they openly talk about making money as their goal in life.
The native blacks in the US have far more personality, depth, and ..... compassion.