Anonymous wrote:He’s not very well off if your kids have to do chores…You’re delusional.

Can I ask where you and your friends hang out and where your kids go to school?

I’d have sussed this misogyny out before marrying him so as to avoid the embarrassment of being married to such an idiot.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We never expected kids to do chores, their job was to do good in school and do things that interests them.

Well, that's short-sighted.

I'm not the PP but I didn't have chores growing up except taking care of the dog (i.e. making sure the water bowl was full and feeding them). We had a housekeeper and she would make the beds every day and do the laundry. If I made something in the kitchen, I would clean up after myself, but I never cleaned a toilet until I lived in an apartment after college.

It's not hard to learn how to do any of those things, and as soon as I was done with grad school and had a real job I got cleaners and have had them ever since (although I do my own laundry, they only clean the house).

My kids don't have chores except cleaning up after themselves, helping when asked (i.e. unload the dishwasher, put the groceries away, etc.), keeping their rooms tidy (I'm a stickler for that, their rooms are neatened every night before bed), and folding/putting their laundry away. They are busy with school and their time-consuming sport and since we have cleaners there is no need for them to be cleaning around the house (and my husband and I don't do it either).

My husband grew up with all sorts of chores and there isn't anything around the house that he doesn't do (i.e. he heard the laundry in the mud room go off while watching the Masters and folded the towels and put them away during a commercial break), and actually during COVID he was the one who did the cleaning when we had a pause with the cleaners because his job slowed down and mine got busier. Maybe if I had boys I'd care more about having them do things but I have girls and I like that they see their dad and me doing the same amount of stuff around the house.

I guess I'll get back to you in 20 years when they're in the mid-30's and see how this all turned out, but I am just fine never having done chores growing up. My house is always neat and clean and I'm good at cleaning anything and everything, I just don't do it most of the time because I'd rather pay someone to do so and spend my time elsewhere.

Anonymous wrote:We never expected kids to do chores, their job was to do good in school and do things that interests them.

Well, that's short-sighted.

I would talk to your husband ➕ encourage him to delegate all the household chores out evenly and thus fairly.

It is old-fashioned/backward thinking to consider chores solely the responsibility of the woman.

I feel sorry for the women that your step-sons marry if your husband does not change his mindset. 😲

How old is this “wonderful” with four children and a failed marriage?

And how old are you? If you’re closer in age to his children than to him, that tells me everything I need to know about your relationship.

My advice: Just have a baby quickly and stick it out for a decade before you divorce and can go live your life. Don’t make waves with the stepkids.

He’s not very well off if your kids have to do chores…You’re delusional.

Even if you ascribe to gendered chores, there's plenty for boys to doing, including taking the trash and recycling out, yardwork, putting together furniture, moving heavy objects in and out of storage, etc

Even if you are going to split things alone gender lines, why don’t the boys have boy chores? Mowing the lawn and so forth?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop marrying conservatives

NP My dh is conservative. He does chores nonstop and makes our boy and girls do equal chores. DH absolutely believes that both sexes can do equal amounts of chores and can do the same chores. DH is our main cook.

My extended family are old school conservatives (SAHM). The men and boys did nonstop, hard chores on a farm. The girls inside also did nonstop chores, just inside.

Most of the conservatives I know put women on a pedestal, respect them, and don't believe women are indentured servants.

😂🤣😂

Gosh, what can we say? “Conservatives” are a full on plague in this country no matter how many wholesome, hardworking farm boys they raise.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop marrying conservatives

NP My dh is conservative. He does chores nonstop and makes our boy and girls do equal chores. DH absolutely believes that both sexes can do equal amounts of chores and can do the same chores. DH is our main cook.

My extended family are old school conservatives (SAHM). The men and boys did nonstop, hard chores on a farm. The girls inside also did nonstop chores, just inside.

Most of the conservatives I know put women on a pedestal, respect them, and don't believe women are indentured servants.

C’mon Jan.

These boys are going to have a bad time when they start dating. Girls don't want someone who can't take care of themselves.

Tell the girls to go on strike. Seriously. You are raising entitled boys.