Please be gracious and let them visit (under your supervision/when you're comfortable).

I was this person and needed to come back to my family house to end some grieving that was really deep.

The new owner was so nice, she even told me i could come back and enjoy the garden (my favorite place) even if no one was home... of course i wont but knowing its possible is enough.

I have been on both sides of this. About 10 years ago we moved 3 blocks within the same neighborhood. We vaguely knew the prior owners of my current home and know they liked that someone with ties to the neighborhood was buying the home.

They stopped by once and were clearly upset by some of the changes we made. None were major, as they had remodeled shortly before selling, but it clearly bothered them. I felt bad that they took the changes harder than expected.

Because we moved 3 blocks we also got to know the new owners of our prior home and went over several times for events or after they remodeled something and wanted to show us. They were always somewhat apologetic about the changes (we loved what you had but this needed updating anyway, etc) and I always told them I loved the changes and that they made the home fit their style. It was really fun to be invited in and see the house and updates.

Hey OP I left my country at 12 and went back at 35. I asked this little old Eastern European lady to see my childhood bedroom. She let me in and didn’t speak one bit of English. I just stood there and cried, it was cathartic and all my beautiful memories came back. It’s an odd feeling and call back to your home for whatever reason, and I’m very grateful for her kindness. We went back the next day with fruit. Sometimes it’s strange but not mean intentioned.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's where she grew up. The house where she grew up. Do you not understand -at all- about this? Sure, you can/should do what you want. You don't need to invite her but don't be such an odd human being that you can't imagine her sentimental interest.

+1. This forum is full of antisocial weirdos.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While I can understand the sentiment this woman likely has for her childhood home - - if you do not feel 100% comfortable having a complete stranger look at your home (who could blame you?) then you have no obligation to do so.

I find it a little odd how this woman simply left too.
She may return at some point >> most people would kindly refuse.

Good luck.

As evidenced by this thread, most people would in fact allow this. In fact, I'm pleasantly surprised by the sentiment on this thread. I assumed the social cripples and paranoid deludinoids of DCUM wouldn't countenance the imposition letting a stranger into their home.

I disagree with your assessment. Most people would not allow this and would be very wary.

I would have let the owners of the first house I bought in to tour if they had given us notice. They were nice people. The owners of the last two houses I've bought, I would absolutely refuse.

Anonymous wrote:Happened to us. Previous owner stopped by (they moved locally). I let him walk the outside- showed off the new deck, landscaping we put our blood/sweat/tears into, and how nice the tree trimming looked.

Then I back handedly mentioned all the things that needed work and are in the process of doing (your taste in paint sucked so we are repainting, you were a cheapskate with XYZ so we plan ABC)...type.

Ew. You seem so pleased with yourself, too.

OP ever heard the House that Built Me by Miranda Lambert? If not, thats what this reminds me of.

Anonymous wrote:While I can understand the sentiment this woman likely has for her childhood home - - if you do not feel 100% comfortable having a complete stranger look at your home (who could blame you?) then you have no obligation to do so.

I find it a little odd how this woman simply left too.
She may return at some point >> most people would kindly refuse.

Good luck.

As evidenced by this thread, most people would in fact allow this. In fact, I'm pleasantly surprised by the sentiment on this thread. I assumed the social cripples and paranoid deludinoids of DCUM wouldn't countenance the imposition letting a stranger into their home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's where she grew up. The house where she grew up. Do you not understand -at all- about this? Sure, you can/should do what you want. You don't need to invite her but don't be such an odd human being that you can't imagine her sentimental interest.

I understand it, but just showing up randomly to ask if you can see someone's renovated house is beyond bizarre.

My dad built the house I lived in until I was six and while I'm genuinely curious about it and would love to see it as an adult, I would never just show up.

+1

It’s all a bit weird: it’s OP’s home now, this is a relative stranger, and it’s not been that long of a time lapse in this case. She sounds a bit mentally ill, honestly.

In this case, I wouldn’t OP. Her behavior is strange, and I wouldn’t want her in the home, especially as you have kids.

You might also consider getting a doorbell camera if you don’t have one.

Anonymous wrote:It's where she grew up. The house where she grew up. Do you not understand -at all- about this? Sure, you can/should do what you want. You don't need to invite her but don't be such an odd human being that you can't imagine her sentimental interest.

+1. This forum is full of antisocial weirdos.

After my parents died I had to sell the house my siblings and I grew up in. Lots of memories there.

I was randomly on Zillow and saw that the folks who bought from us had sold my parents house and the listing had pictures. They did an amazing job with updates and reconfiguring things - and satisfied my curiosity about the house. It no longer looks like the house I grew up in/remember. Just a random thought for anyone considering going back to look at their old house.

While I can understand the sentiment this woman likely has for her childhood home - - if you do not feel 100% comfortable having a complete stranger look at your home (who could blame you?) then you have no obligation to do so.

I find it a little odd how this woman simply left too.
She may return at some point >> most people would kindly refuse.

Good luck.

Anonymous wrote:It's where she grew up. The house where she grew up. Do you not understand -at all- about this? Sure, you can/should do what you want. You don't need to invite her but don't be such an odd human being that you can't imagine her sentimental interest.

I understand it, but just showing up randomly to ask if you can see someone's renovated house is beyond bizarre.

My dad built the house I lived in until I was six and while I'm genuinely curious about it and would love to see it as an adult, I would never just show up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Happened to us. Previous owner stopped by (they moved locally). I let him walk the outside- showed off the new deck, landscaping we put our blood/sweat/tears into, and how nice the tree trimming looked.

Then I back handedly mentioned all the things that needed work and are in the process of doing (your taste in paint sucked so we are repainting, you were a cheapskate with XYZ so we plan ABC)...type.

Because you were a jerk?

Because the previous owners did shoddy work that was enough to pass inspection, but revealed problems down the road.

And who uses flat paint in the bathrooms? What a freaking pain to undo 3 bathrooms' worth of flat paint.

Just the tip of the iceburg....but call me a jerk.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The previous owners of our beach house still live in the neighborhood and they have been in our house several times for social events. We have done quite a bit of renovation but given that they moved to a much fancier, more modern house I don't think they are offended that we updated the house. But of course these are events where we know they are coming - they aren't just knocking on the door.

Personally I don't feel any attachment to houses and have no interest in going to see a former house. Our last house, where we lived for 10 years, has since been torn down.

I wonder if this has a part in the overall equation?
There is a big difference between a house that a person has lived in for 10 or so years as an adult and a house a person literally grew up in from babyhood to college age.
It is what the house represents. A place you lived for some time or the very home you associate your entire childhood with.

Agree. I lived in a city row house for 15 years as a young adult and we have been in the burbs now for a decade and while I have fond memories of that home, it’s not my childhood home and it’s also not my “family home” where I’m raising my children. I’d never knock on the door. Don’t really care. My childhood home is so, so different emotionally and sentimentally and I’m sure once my kids have flown the nest, our family home will feel the same for me.