Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Flagship ranking is around 150. She got a scholarship so cost is 5K tuition plus housing (10K). 15K total.

T10 school. She got 20K in financial aid which would bring tuition down to 50K. Housing is about 15K. 65K total.

Engineering major.

If you don't have the 50K difference per year ($200K total), then it's state U and join the honors program. Not worth the debt for any school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still don't understand the problem. Top 10 private universities offer exceptionally good financial aid. At Princeton, families earning less than $250,000 pay no tuition at all. Other top privates are similarly generous. Almost no one says no to MIT or Stanford because it's unaffordable. Plus financial aid packages can always be negotiated.

Also, every student of this caliber generally has numerous merit offers at lower ranked universities. Someone getting into MIT, Harvard or similar always has options. If this student's parents are morons, surely her high school counselor or even friends would have encouraged her to apply widely to maximize options.

The problem is that it’s a troll post.

Either it is a troll post or OP simply doesn’t want to pay for T10 and trying to crowdsource excuses.

We have send 2 DCs through these processes and seen countless others receiving aid (FA or merit). Given the FA amount, OP makes decent if not good $$$. Otherwise, the daughter would’ve gotten a full ride or half off. $65k is doable but will require tightening of some fringe expenses. Doesn’t sound like OP is willing to do that or just willing to spend the T10 tuition.

OP, if you aren’t a toll, you need to understand if you succeed in persuading your daughter out of attending T10 due to cost, she will remember this decision for the entirety of her life. Especially after she begins to earn her own living and learn to budge, she will come to the realization you made one choice on her education when you could’ve done things differently. To her it will land in the camp of “you don’t think she is worth it”.

My friend, at 58, is still bitter that his parents pulled the plug on Princeton at the last minute in favor of a scholarship and the honors program at Penn State. He is brilliant and has done just fine in life . . . I doubt his outcomes would have been any different, but he has never forgiven his parents for denying him the chance to go to Princeton back in 1986.

+1 - in my case Smith, but the principle remains the same.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still don't understand the problem. Top 10 private universities offer exceptionally good financial aid. At Princeton, families earning less than $250,000 pay no tuition at all. Other top privates are similarly generous. Almost no one says no to MIT or Stanford because it's unaffordable. Plus financial aid packages can always be negotiated.

Also, every student of this caliber generally has numerous merit offers at lower ranked universities. Someone getting into MIT, Harvard or similar always has options. If this student's parents are morons, surely her high school counselor or even friends would have encouraged her to apply widely to maximize options.

The problem is that it’s a troll post.

Either it is a troll post or OP simply doesn’t want to pay for T10 and trying to crowdsource excuses.

We have send 2 DCs through these processes and seen countless others receiving aid (FA or merit). Given the FA amount, OP makes decent if not good $$$. Otherwise, the daughter would’ve gotten a full ride or half off. $65k is doable but will require tightening of some fringe expenses. Doesn’t sound like OP is willing to do that or just willing to spend the T10 tuition.

OP, if you aren’t a toll, you need to understand if you succeed in persuading your daughter out of attending T10 due to cost, she will remember this decision for the entirety of her life. Especially after she begins to earn her own living and learn to budge, she will come to the realization you made one choice on her education when you could’ve done things differently. To her it will land in the camp of “you don’t think she is worth it”.

My friend, at 58, is still bitter that his parents pulled the plug on Princeton at the last minute in favor of a scholarship and the honors program at Penn State. He is brilliant and has done just fine in life . . . I doubt his outcomes would have been any different, but he has never forgiven his parents for denying him the chance to go to Princeton back in 1986.

That's really immature of him, and speaks to some unresolved confidence issues. I spend big money to send my kids where they want to go, primarily because my oldest has autism and cannot be flexible with his chosen environment, which means it feels unfair to deny my younger kids their first choice too. I want to treat them all the same way. But my parents were the sort to spend as little as possible, and I have zero resentment. They are a product of their time. I adapted. I'm not sure at all my outcome in life would have been different had I gone to a more prestigious establishment!

I hated this time last year for a similar reason. I let my DD apply to two schools that I would not agree to pay for - because she wanted to see if she would get in. My DD is a great student and a hard worker, but she's not an only child and we can't put everything extra in her basket. There were weeks of tears. Admitted students days were helpful because she realized that she didn't actually fit in at one of the schools she thought she wanted. Fast forward a year and she's really happy and doing well in her state school where we are paying 100% of the bills so she will come out debt free.

Things really turned around for us when she paid her deposit and her room deposit.

I don't really feel like it was a mistake to let her apply despite the angst and tears. The application fee was a small price to pay so that she realized she really is pretty great. And, it gave us a tangible way for her to experience living within her means.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the school is Chicago. It's been a few years ago, but Chicago flew my friend's kid out after being admitted in EA and then also offered more money when the kid was debating between Chicago and another top 10. The school is also known for sending lots of promotional material.

Who wants to go to Chicago for engineering? Do they even have engineering?

Only molecular engineering.

Anonymous wrote:NP Does anyone reading this think 250K is an insane amount to pay for an undergrad degree when you have a cheaper option??

For Harvard Princeton Yale vs a 150 ranked state school?

NO!

Anonymous wrote:I think the school is Chicago. It's been a few years ago, but Chicago flew my friend's kid out after being admitted in EA and then also offered more money when the kid was debating between Chicago and another top 10. The school is also known for sending lots of promotional material.

Who wants to go to Chicago for engineering? Do they even have engineering?

I think the school is Chicago. It's been a few years ago, but Chicago flew my friend's kid out after being admitted in EA and then also offered more money when the kid was debating between Chicago and another top 10. The school is also known for sending lots of promotional material.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still don't understand the problem. Top 10 private universities offer exceptionally good financial aid. At Princeton, families earning less than $250,000 pay no tuition at all. Other top privates are similarly generous. Almost no one says no to MIT or Stanford because it's unaffordable. Plus financial aid packages can always be negotiated.

Also, every student of this caliber generally has numerous merit offers at lower ranked universities. Someone getting into MIT, Harvard or similar always has options. If this student's parents are morons, surely her high school counselor or even friends would have encouraged her to apply widely to maximize options.

The problem is that it’s a troll post.

Either it is a troll post or OP simply doesn’t want to pay for T10 and trying to crowdsource excuses.

We have send 2 DCs through these processes and seen countless others receiving aid (FA or merit). Given the FA amount, OP makes decent if not good $$$. Otherwise, the daughter would’ve gotten a full ride or half off. $65k is doable but will require tightening of some fringe expenses. Doesn’t sound like OP is willing to do that or just willing to spend the T10 tuition.

OP, if you aren’t a toll, you need to understand if you succeed in persuading your daughter out of attending T10 due to cost, she will remember this decision for the entirety of her life. Especially after she begins to earn her own living and learn to budge, she will come to the realization you made one choice on her education when you could’ve done things differently. To her it will land in the camp of “you don’t think she is worth it”.

My friend, at 58, is still bitter that his parents pulled the plug on Princeton at the last minute in favor of a scholarship and the honors program at Penn State. He is brilliant and has done just fine in life . . . I doubt his outcomes would have been any different, but he has never forgiven his parents for denying him the chance to go to Princeton back in 1986.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still don't understand the problem. Top 10 private universities offer exceptionally good financial aid. At Princeton, families earning less than $250,000 pay no tuition at all. Other top privates are similarly generous. Almost no one says no to MIT or Stanford because it's unaffordable. Plus financial aid packages can always be negotiated.

Also, every student of this caliber generally has numerous merit offers at lower ranked universities. Someone getting into MIT, Harvard or similar always has options. If this student's parents are morons, surely her high school counselor or even friends would have encouraged her to apply widely to maximize options.

The problem is that it’s a troll post.

Either it is a troll post or OP simply doesn’t want to pay for T10 and trying to crowdsource excuses.

We have send 2 DCs through these processes and seen countless others receiving aid (FA or merit). Given the FA amount, OP makes decent if not good $$$. Otherwise, the daughter would’ve gotten a full ride or half off. $65k is doable but will require tightening of some fringe expenses. Doesn’t sound like OP is willing to do that or just willing to spend the T10 tuition.

OP, if you aren’t a toll, you need to understand if you succeed in persuading your daughter out of attending T10 due to cost, she will remember this decision for the entirety of her life. Especially after she begins to earn her own living and learn to budge, she will come to the realization you made one choice on her education when you could’ve done things differently. To her it will land in the camp of “you don’t think she is worth it”.

Anonymous wrote:I still don't understand the problem. Top 10 private universities offer exceptionally good financial aid. At Princeton, families earning less than $250,000 pay no tuition at all. Other top privates are similarly generous. Almost no one says no to MIT or Stanford because it's unaffordable. Plus financial aid packages can always be negotiated.

Also, every student of this caliber generally has numerous merit offers at lower ranked universities. Someone getting into MIT, Harvard or similar always has options. If this student's parents are morons, surely her high school counselor or even friends would have encouraged her to apply widely to maximize options.

The problem is that it’s a troll post.

I still don't understand the problem. Top 10 private universities offer exceptionally good financial aid. At Princeton, families earning less than $250,000 pay no tuition at all. Other top privates are similarly generous. Almost no one says no to MIT or Stanford because it's unaffordable. Plus financial aid packages can always be negotiated.

Also, every student of this caliber generally has numerous merit offers at lower ranked universities. Someone getting into MIT, Harvard or similar always has options. If this student's parents are morons, surely her high school counselor or even friends would have encouraged her to apply widely to maximize options.

We told our children before they applied to college how much money we had saved. If they wanted to go out of state they need to get scholarships to make up the difference. One did just that. One wanted to apply to a $90,000 a year college. We said no.

Anonymous wrote:You mentioned three schools - a T10, a T50 and a T150. Surely she applied to others.

This. Hard to believe only applied to believe. Also hard to believe that someone accepted at a top 10 would not get into some top 25.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Flagship ranking is around 150. She got a scholarship so cost is 5K tuition plus housing (10K). 15K total.

T10 school. She got 20K in financial aid which would bring tuition down to 50K. Housing is about 15K. 65K total.

Engineering major.

The difference is only 50k!

Of course she can work part time to pay for the difference. Waitress, tutoring, etc. I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to earn 50k per year.

If you are willing to pay additional 10k, that really helps.

OP, I’m sorry you are getting weird belligerent responses like the one above.

Did she only apply to 3 schools? For engineering I would not take out $200k+ in loans.

Do your local school and then see about transferring. Or the one that puts a bad taste in your mouth, assuming you can afford it.

OP here. Thank you for your kind response. I agree that an engineering degree cannot justify 200K in loans.

I’ve talked to her about potentially transferring schools after two years. She wasn’t open to the idea. I think she just needs some time to be sad.

Let her be sad, but absolutely do not take out loans. Maybe she will be mad at you for not saving more for her, but ultimately she will be glad to not be saddled with debt after graduation, trying to buy a house, start a family, etc.

Another possible option would be ROTC. Does this top10 school have ROTC? While it might be too late to get a scholarship through the national pool, she can make contact with that school’s ROTC recruiting officer, show interest, and he/she will tell her what her options are moving forward. I did ROTC (and it paid for all of my tuition), and there were plenty of kids that started freshman year with no scholarship, started the process first semester and had retroactive 4 yr scholarships by the end of the year. Maybe not her cup of tea, but a good way to go to the school you want, get tuition paid, and not have debt.

ROTC is a good option. Even if only got scholarship for tuition & fees for 2-3 years out of 4 years, that would be a big cost reduction. AFROTC is the most likely to fund her, because it focuses its undergrad scholarship budget on engineering, nursing, CS, and cybersecurity. AFROTC includes both USAF and US Space Force.