Anonymous wrote:https://www.fastcompany.com/91496750/new-second-shift-burning-out-both-parents

We are a dual working parent household and I so wish we had understood how awful it would be.

We both work in office, commute 30-60 min each way, and work 8-9 hour days. We thought this would be a reasonable setup, with one going in a little early and the other late to handle the morning and evening kid wrangling.

But it has just drained our entire life away. There is always a mess in the house (and now the yard, yay spring), weekends are errands, 7 piles of laundry, cleaning, yardwork.

We don’t make the kind of money we can outsource, like in the article above where they order out for dinner (I think us Millennials order the most takeout of any generation?).

We have no nearby family, no extra cash, and every moment is spoken for. And of course now apparently the good schools we slaved to afford to buy zoned for don’t matter because there won’t be any jobs for our kids.

Just a PSA to GenZ…

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.fastcompany.com/91496750/new-second-shift-burning-out-both-parents

We are a dual working parent household and I so wish we had understood how awful it would be.

We both work in office, commute 30-60 min each way, and work 8-9 hour days. We thought this would be a reasonable setup, with one going in a little early and the other late to handle the morning and evening kid wrangling.

But it has just drained our entire life away. There is always a mess in the house (and now the yard, yay spring), weekends are errands, 7 piles of laundry, cleaning, yardwork.

We don’t make the kind of money we can outsource, like in the article above where they order out for dinner (I think us Millennials order the most takeout of any generation?).

We have no nearby family, no extra cash, and every moment is spoken for. And of course now apparently the good schools we slaved to afford to buy zoned for don’t matter because there won’t be any jobs for our kids.

Just a PSA to GenZ…

The things that helped us during those younger children years:

Prioritizing sleep- getting enough sleep made us more efficient and less tired.
Getting an every other week cleaning lady
Doing laundry one load at a time throughout the week
Double or triple batch cooking on the weekend, we also cooked enough to bring in leftovers for lunch

Its was still a slog, but it was much more manageable when we did those things.

We cook from scratch every night. We dont eat casseroles or things that keep well for 2-3 days nor pack well for lunch. Plus my spouse and one daughter is a vegetarian which complicates meal planning.

Hilarious you think casseroles are the only thing that will “keep”.

Batch cook and use your freezer. Buy those one cup silicone freezer molds. Make a giant pot of pasta sauce and freeze in one cup blocks. Does your family eat chili? That also freezes well.

Roasted potatoes and sweet potatoes also freeze really well and can be heated up in an air fryer in 7 minutes.

Get creative with your meal planning. Make a double portion of protein Monday. Eat it with a side of roasted potatoes and some kind of vegetable. Tuesday can be rice/other grain depending on preference bowls with the same protein. Get a rice cooker. That night while you’re prepping dinner make a big pot of pasta. Wednesday will be pasta night, using your delicious frozen premade sauce.

Anonymous wrote:I guess it just depends on how you look at it. I’m sure unemployed people would love your situation. Ditto for parents of kids with health issues/special needs. I’m a single parent so I to what you go by myself 24/7 on one meager salary.

Remember to stop sometimes and feel grateful for everything you do have. Today I felt grateful that I was able to get outside and take a walk in the sunshine. The laundry and errands and negative bank balance will always be there but a 60+ degree sunny day in February is what I choose to be grateful for.

Anonymous wrote:When I see these posts, I always wonder if the OP had a SAHP or is generally unobservant. I and most of my millennial friends came from dual income families and our lives are pretty similar to what we grew up with (particularly those with transplant parents). In many ways, I have it easier than my parents: remote work exists, I have more disposable income, cities are much safer. Yeah, it’s a ton of work, but that’s not new.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I see these posts, I always wonder if the OP had a SAHP or is generally unobservant. I and most of my millennial friends came from dual income families and our lives are pretty similar to what we grew up with (particularly those with transplant parents). In many ways, I have it easier than my parents: remote work exists, I have more disposable income, cities are much safer. Yeah, it’s a ton of work, but that’s not new.

I’m a little older that you (tail end of Gen X) but agree with this. My parents both worked FT and had four kids. My mom did work PT for a couple of years (5?) when she had all four of us kids back to back. I don’t remember my parents really having any free time until we were much older. Maybe after 9pm or on a Saturday night or something. They also didn’t have much $. We were working class.

I will say that some things were different then, which probably made things easier. We didn’t have any family in our town but there was more of a sense of community & seemed to be more flexible childcare options. My parents used daycare but also knew several middle aged or younger elderly women (neighbors, friends from church etc) who babysat for pocket money. Also teenagers actually wanted to babysit to earn spending $ and did not charge terribly much. So when daycare or main options fell through, there were always affordable/accessible alternatives.

There were also fewer expectations of parents in terms of “entertainment”, activities, etc. We mostly just played with whatever other kids were around, went to the park etc. They were not running us back and forth to various sports etc. I think I grew up on the very tail end of the era where this was “normal”.

Kids also had a lot more chores and responsibilities, and were expected to fend for themselves for a few hours (or supervise younger siblings) from much younger ages than would be considered normal now.

I don’t know that all of the above is necessarily “better” but it was different than most families today, for sure.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.fastcompany.com/91496750/new-second-shift-burning-out-both-parents

We are a dual working parent household and I so wish we had understood how awful it would be.

We both work in office, commute 30-60 min each way, and work 8-9 hour days. We thought this would be a reasonable setup, with one going in a little early and the other late to handle the morning and evening kid wrangling.

But it has just drained our entire life away. There is always a mess in the house (and now the yard, yay spring), weekends are errands, 7 piles of laundry, cleaning, yardwork.

We don’t make the kind of money we can outsource, like in the article above where they order out for dinner (I think us Millennials order the most takeout of any generation?).

We have no nearby family, no extra cash, and every moment is spoken for. And of course now apparently the good schools we slaved to afford to buy zoned for don’t matter because there won’t be any jobs for our kids.

Just a PSA to GenZ…

The things that helped us during those younger children years:

Prioritizing sleep- getting enough sleep made us more efficient and less tired.
Getting an every other week cleaning lady
Doing laundry one load at a time throughout the week
Double or triple batch cooking on the weekend, we also cooked enough to bring in leftovers for lunch

Its was still a slog, but it was much more manageable when we did those things.

We cook from scratch every night. We dont eat casseroles or things that keep well for 2-3 days nor pack well for lunch. Plus my spouse and one daughter is a vegetarian which complicates meal planning.

Anonymous wrote:When I see these posts, I always wonder if the OP had a SAHP or is generally unobservant. I and most of my millennial friends came from dual income families and our lives are pretty similar to what we grew up with (particularly those with transplant parents). In many ways, I have it easier than my parents: remote work exists, I have more disposable income, cities are much safer. Yeah, it’s a ton of work, but that’s not new.

Anonymous wrote:When I see these posts, I always wonder if the OP had a SAHP or is generally unobservant. I and most of my millennial friends came from dual income families and our lives are pretty similar to what we grew up with (particularly those with transplant parents). In many ways, I have it easier than my parents: remote work exists, I have more disposable income, cities are much safer. Yeah, it’s a ton of work, but that’s not new.