Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long have you been dating and do you plan to marry him?

We’ve been dating 7 months, and we haven’t talked about marriage yet, I don’t know.. I’m twice divorced.

Why does that matter in this context?

It sounds like he is taking advantage of you. If I were their mom, I would be livid. Why isn't she taking care of them when he can't/won't? If he travels so much, he needs to give more custody to his ex.

She works a lot too, and he says he doesn’t want to give up his custody time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: We’ve been officially dating for 7 months, but we’ve known each other since college. I’ve been babysitting for about four months now. I have two kids — a 15-year-old daughter, and a 19 year daughter away at college, with my ex-husband. I was also briefly married right out of high school/in freshman year college (young and dumb, so I don’t really count that one..).

OK but his kids haven't known you since college. And nothing you said changes the fact that you're free, a convenient way for him to dump his kids and avoid responsibility. Do you all live together?

No, we don’t live together. He’s very busy with work, including during weekends, which is why he asked me to babysit. The kids mother, doesn’t mind.

You're a fool.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long have you been dating and do you plan to marry him?

We’ve been dating 7 months, and we haven’t talked about marriage yet, I don’t know.. I’m twice divorced.

Anonymous wrote:It's not appropriate unless you have at least talked about engagement/marriage yet.

It's weird for the kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seven months? You never should have even met these children, yet.

+1

You are not a permanent fixture in his life yet and your commitment level is low, as it should be 7 months in. You should not have met these children.

Honestly, I would break up with this man. He's showing SUCH poor judgment. Can you try and put yourself into these kids shoes? Here's this new woman that daddy loves that you love that spends so much time with you - except, oops, in three months you break up. How is that fair to them?

Or put yourself into the mom's shoes. You have children. You divorce. Now these children are being pawned off on the new girlfriend?

This man is making bad choices when it comes to his children. Not the kind of man I would want to date.

And if you do want to keep dating him, you say "Look, I wanted to help you out one time, but I'm spending so much time with the kids now that they're starting to form a bond with me, and I don't think that's fair to them. We've only been dating 7 months, who knows if we'll still be together 3 or 4 years from now? They've already had enough upheaval in their lives. I think I should take a big step back, and you should come up with other childcare arrangements. If we want to do something together maybe every couple of months, the four of us, that might be okay, but I should not become part of their week-to-week lives at this point. It's not fair to them."

And see how he reacts.

Hint: Badly = DUMP HIM.

Ding ding ding!

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been dating a guy with a 10-year-old daughter and a 7-year-old son. He asked me to babysit overnight once for a work trip, which I agreed to, but now it’s happening often—weekends and sometimes school days.

The kids are really sweet, but the 7-year-old is very challenging at times—he hits, kicks, and throws tantrums, especially when it’s time for bed, or to get ready for school. He also doesn’t listen well, so I often have to repeat myself. The 10 year old behaves well though. They’re both very picky eaters and demand different meals, and they’re pretty addicted to screens.

That said, things have improved since I started babysitting them. We’ve been playing board games and cards, reading together, and I try to get them outside, which helps a bit—but it’s still tough.

I struggle with saying no, because I don’t want to disappoint him, and I genuinely enjoy babysitting them, even though it can be difficult.

I’m unsure whether I should continue babysitting or start being more firm and say no more often.