Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:of course you say yes. this sounds like a blast.

A blast for the guys, definitely.

Maybe not so much for the lady that has to clean the house before and after, arrange the food, make sure it all gets put away and crumbs are wiped down before she puts her dress on, get ready and wrangle the kids (and make sure she's decent whenever she pops out of her bedroom to take care of any of these things).

It's a pain in the ass at best, and they should be very grateful if she does it.

It's fun, at best, a pain at worst. But for people who struggle in life, like you seem to, I can see how having a few people over for a few hours is an insurmountable challenge because crumbs become boulders and dressing kids, something you do every day, is overwhelming all of a sudden.

Anonymous wrote:of course you say yes. this sounds like a blast.

A blast for the guys, definitely.

Maybe not so much for the lady that has to clean the house before and after, arrange the food, make sure it all gets put away and crumbs are wiped down before she puts her dress on, get ready and wrangle the kids (and make sure she's decent whenever she pops out of her bedroom to take care of any of these things).

It's a pain in the ass at best, and they should be very grateful if she does it.

I'll also add that we let DD's friends come over to get ready for the prom. They were self sufficient, didn't have to do a thing.

Of course you let him. You decide what you can offer him and let him know. We can offer you and your groomsman access to the guest bathroom where you can take turns. Does this work for you?

You also clarify upfront what if anything they need from you - transportation? food etc? then again let them know what you can offer and what you can't. And ask if that works for him.

you explain that you and hubby will be busy getting ready and getting the kids ready and supervising/feeding/caring for kids, so you ca n give them access and then they will be on their own. unless you can spare your hubby, in that case, then you put your husband in charge of BIL and groomsman since it's his brother right?

I would rent a 2 bedroom airbnb for them near the ceremony site.

Like so many of these posts this is about something bigger. So what’s your general issue with your BIL?

I think you have to say yes. Presumably he has been to your house and knows the set up. Also it isn’t like guys “get ready” all day. I’m sure they will arrived showered. They just need a gathering place.

The answer is no.
An adult getting married should factor that cost .. Less you and your home.

Eww

of course you say yes. this sounds like a blast.

The rigidity of some people is astounding.

You absolutely say yes. It is a bunch of men. The bathrooms etc don't matter. You can't say no to this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While I would say yes, I'd also think to myself why cheap out now and not get another room if they cannot get ready in another groomsman's room? It seems inconvenient to drag all the stuff to your house to get ready.

I'd also foresee your house to become a hang-out house with extra people stopping buy or hanging out.

Have you seen the size of many hotel rooms lately? They're tiny. I don't think it is as simple as just getting another room or getting ready in another groomsman's room, they want a space to get ready and hang out for SIX men. So they would need a large suite which is either very expensive andd still probably tight, or maybe not even available, because the bride and groom have that booked already.

Sure, but then it's the wedding. Are you going to cheap out on this one thing? Maybe then take turns in the suite, so that the groomsmen get ready first and then go hang out at the hotel bar, and then the ladies. Tbh, if they only want to come to the house because they're cheap, that's a turn off.

I would be surprised if the photographer comes to your house. It’s all about the bride that day. It’s a few hours out of your life, I would happily do it. As the mother of the groom, we bought sandwich trays and some beer for the groom get together. It’s important that these guys eat. They end up missing cocktail hour due to photos and dinner isn’t served for another few hours. They will get ready quickly, eat and watch whatever sporting event is on.

Another thing to consider is whether the photographer is doing getting ready pics for the groom, cause then your house has to be photo ready clean!

Make it work.