OP, I was also reluctant to medicate my kid for ADHD because we have a strong family history of bipolar and stimulant medication can trigger mania in people with bipolar. Also, in HS, DC didn't want to take meds.

I am proud of myself that I didn't just make that decision on my own or accept DC's decision. I insisted that we both go to the psychiatrist and talk with him about medication first -- so he could explain the different options, possible side effects and how side effects can be managed.

After meeting with him, both my DC and I decided a med trial would be a good idea. The doctor's point was that stimulant ADHD meds wash out of the system very quickly, and if there were side effects some would be minor and might go away in a few weeks and any if there were any major side effects, we could stop the meds immediately.

I am so glad we listened to the psychiatrist -- medicine made a big difference, although it is not a magic bullet. In fact, I'm sorry we waited until high school. DC would have suffered fewer repercussions of the ADHD - academic, social and self-esteem - if we had started in 3rd or 5th grade.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he had leukemia would you be against chemotherapy because of the side effects?

NP. But we are facing a similar situation. DC refuses to take medication for a variety of reasons.

PP here, everyone with harsh, judgmental tones should keep in mind that it is BEYOND difficult to find a good psychiatrist and even if you find one you may not be able to get in within a year or two or be able to afford them. Also keep in mind that parents of kids with adhd are very l ikely to have it themselves so on top of working and childrearing and house responsibilities, it becomes really incredibly hard to find a care provider and have patience for the months and months of trials with meds. It’s just so hard. Just wanted to throw some sympathy out there for OP.

Huh? That is just not the case. a) we're talking about ADHD meds, which any pediatrician will prescribe. b) you can find a psych NP very easily. c) expensive? Again, if you use a psych NP, they're covered by your health plan.

+1.

I have ADHD as well as both of my kids. When my oldest was first diagnosed, I didn’t want to medicate and tried techniques that I knew could have worked for me when I was young. He would do really well and then regress, then get back on track, then regress, and it was taking a toll on his self esteem. At 14 he asked if he could maybe try medication just to see if it helped and I agreed. It was like a light switch got turned on and he was a totally different child. He is now getting ready to graduate from a college prep school and is heading to a top 50 school in the fall. Luckily Focalin works well and he only takes it at school or if he needs to focus. Generally weekends and summers are no medication.

OP, I would get him checked for seizures tomorrow. Seriously, tomorrow. What you describe with the zoning out and waking up and not knowing what is going on is NOT a normal part of ADHD and it is not that common. Even a seizure of only a few seconds exhausts the brain and makes it very difficult to focus and remember anything. Which accounts for his really poor memory. Really really really, please, this could be seizures.

Here's an overview:

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/petit-mal-seizure/symptoms-causes/syc-20359683

Symptoms

A simple absence seizure causes a vacant stare, which may be mistaken for a brief lapse in attention. The seizure lasts about 10 seconds, though it may last as long as 30 seconds. There's no confusion, headache or drowsiness after the seizure.

Symptoms of absence seizures include:

A sudden stop in activity without falling.
Lip smacking.
Eyelid flutters.
Chewing motions.
Finger rubbing.
Small movements of both hands.
Afterward, there's usually no memory of the incident. But if the seizure is longer, the person may be aware of missed time. Some people have many episodes daily. When it happens, it can interfere with school or daily activities.

A child may have absence seizures for some time before an adult notices them. This is because the seizures are so brief. A decline in a child's learning ability may be the first sign of the seizure disorder. Teachers may say the child has trouble paying attention or that a child is often daydreaming.

I agree that this sounds really serious, to the point where absence seizures should be investigated.

OP, you really need to see a pediatrician, ideally one with background in ADHD. They're not going to hold you at gunpoint and force medication down his throat! But they might be able to help you investigate the possibility of seizures, and other helpful things like checking for sleep apnea or a sleep cycle problem.

You owe it to your kid to try to alleviate this, because untreated ADHD will have serious consequences for every area of his life as he grows older. And this does sound like a particularly serious case. Like he needs to go to a special needs private school.

Anonymous wrote:OP, talk to a doctor. They will explain the neurological and psychological ways that ADHD affects children. They will also give you the pros and cons of medication. Refusing meds is not a consequence-free decision.

FWIW, the half life of stimulants is really short. If they’re not working or causing intolerable side effects, you just stop taking them (with a doctor’s supervision). In less than a day, they’re out of your child’s system.

+2

I agree with PPs about homeschooling, and that your status quo is the road to self-medication.

My child has ADHD and I was diagnosed as an adult. I started talking medications as an adult and wished that I had known about my diagnosis a taken meds earlier. It helped me focus on what I needed to focus. Ask your child what they prefer, but please don’t wait until it has a negative impact on self-esteem.

I don’t know how you all even have the energy to engage with the no medication for adhd people

Sure op - keep on with that frame of mind and enjoy your kid continue to struggle until they’re old enough to get their own medication and then probably resent you for the rest of their life for not giving them the tools they desperately needed for success. Should be a fun ride.

Ours uses a non stimulant med. It helps her focus a bit more. Worlds better than before. She also takes an anxiety medication at night. Sleeping more helps, when that happens.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he had leukemia would you be against chemotherapy because of the side effects?

NP. But we are facing a similar situation. DC refuses to take medication for a variety of reasons.

PP here, everyone with harsh, judgmental tones should keep in mind that it is BEYOND difficult to find a good psychiatrist and even if you find one you may not be able to get in within a year or two or be able to afford them. Also keep in mind that parents of kids with adhd are very l ikely to have it themselves so on top of working and childrearing and house responsibilities, it becomes really incredibly hard to find a care provider and have patience for the months and months of trials with meds. It’s just so hard. Just wanted to throw some sympathy out there for OP.

Huh? That is just not the case. a) we're talking about ADHD meds, which any pediatrician will prescribe. b) you can find a psych NP very easily. c) expensive? Again, if you use a psych NP, they're covered by your health plan.

Dunno what planet you’re on but that has not been the case for us at all.

I'm on a planet where each of my kid have different Psych NPs. Easy to find. Want a list? Let me know what insurance company.

.

Would love a list. We are struggling to find a psychiatrist.

Anonymous wrote:OP, talk to a doctor. They will explain the neurological and psychological ways that ADHD affects children. They will also give you the pros and cons of medication. Refusing meds is not a consequence-free decision.

FWIW, the half life of stimulants is really short. If they’re not working or causing intolerable side effects, you just stop taking them (with a doctor’s supervision). In less than a day, they’re out of your child’s system.

+1
My spouse was really hesitant to try meds, but the fact that they clear the system so fast swayed him. And the biggest side effect was appetite, which we found pretty easy to manage.

OP, talk to a doctor. They will explain the neurological and psychological ways that ADHD affects children. They will also give you the pros and cons of medication. Refusing meds is not a consequence-free decision.

FWIW, the half life of stimulants is really short. If they’re not working or causing intolerable side effects, you just stop taking them (with a doctor’s supervision). In less than a day, they’re out of your child’s system.

Anonymous wrote:I’m a teacher and I have a few students with documented adhd whose parents don’t medicate and I have a hard time understanding why.

These are such sweet kids who end up in trouble because of impulse control. They can’t always pay attention to directions to understand what is going on. If they distract others they hear their name called constantly.

Teaching is hard right now, most kids lack a good attention span do to an overload of screens (at school and at home) and immediate gratification. So if your kid is an outlier then it’s probably pretty bad. I don’t think there’s much you can do without meds besides focusing on maximizing his sleep and his nutrition and minimizing screens. Get him into a heavy sport like swimming multiple days a week?

This! I agreed to meds because my DD was getting consequences for behaviors she could not control. I did not want her confidence further impacted. The medication was life changing for her and I have a really hard time with parents who won’t, at least, give meds a try.

Haven’t read all the responses, but if you’re not going to medicate, then you can’t raise any complaints about the teachers or otherwise ask them to do more than what they’re currently doing. That would be unreasonable.

Please don’t be afraid to medicate. I was hesitant with DD who started in 6th for inattentive ADHD. It made a world of difference and her only side effect was lack of appetite (she made up for it by eating more once it wore off). You can do a trial on a weekend or school break to see how it goes. I’m very sorry DD wasn’t medicated sooner. It tanked her self-confidence and created a lot of tension.