Anonymous
02/06/2026 16:51
Subject: Gender Disparity at College
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Has any of your daughters complained about the high girl to boy ratio at their colleges?
Many of the colleges my daughter is looking at have way more girls than boys and this concerns her.
There is definitely no dating going on. My daughter has packs of girlfriends and is always meeting more but it's rare that she even has an opportunity to talk to a guy. The average-to-good looking guys have their pick of any girl they want.
It's kind of an issue but there's not anything to do and culturally they're all in it together. The girls just keep investing in female friendship.
I guess you have to make the best of the situation but ... are there really no straight guys in college to date??
are the straight guys who are there dating anyone?
I think the situation is that because there are so many girls, only the top of the pecking order get male attention. At most schools these are Instgram-model glam for lack of a better descriptive. I know this sounds nuts but my daughter and friends who are "regular girl pretty" are fairly invisible despite being open to dating very average guys. t'a a hard dynamic and isn't helped by how busy kids are these days.
From my daughter's experience, she and her friend group aren't particularly focused on dating. They have female and male friends, and are much more focused on academics and extracurricular activities than having a boyfriend. She has a great group of female friends and in visiting I've heard their concerns on a wide range of topics -- but not finding a boyfriend hasn't popped up at all.
Colleges all have very active hook-up cultures (and no, mom, you won’t hear all about it), but far less dating / relationships than in years past.
Just how it is now.
Anonymous
02/06/2026 16:47
Subject: Gender Disparity at College
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Has any of your daughters complained about the high girl to boy ratio at their colleges?
Many of the colleges my daughter is looking at have way more girls than boys and this concerns her.
There is definitely no dating going on. My daughter has packs of girlfriends and is always meeting more but it's rare that she even has an opportunity to talk to a guy. The average-to-good looking guys have their pick of any girl they want.
It's kind of an issue but there's not anything to do and culturally they're all in it together. The girls just keep investing in female friendship.
I guess you have to make the best of the situation but ... are there really no straight guys in college to date??
are the straight guys who are there dating anyone?
I think the situation is that because there are so many girls, only the top of the pecking order get male attention. At most schools these are Instgram-model glam for lack of a better descriptive. I know this sounds nuts but my daughter and friends who are "regular girl pretty" are fairly invisible despite being open to dating very average guys. t'a a hard dynamic and isn't helped by how busy kids are these days.
From my daughter's experience, she and her friend group aren't particularly focused on dating. They have female and male friends, and are much more focused on academics and extracurricular activities than having a boyfriend. She has a great group of female friends and in visiting I've heard their concerns on a wide range of topics -- but not finding a boyfriend hasn't popped up at all.
They just don’t talk to you about this. Chances are the girls take part in hookups, and know you’d view this with disapproval.
When are young adults focused on dating if not in their early 20s with raging hormones and surrounded by similar aged peers looking for the same?
Anonymous
02/06/2026 16:00
Subject: Gender Disparity at College
Anonymous wrote:the problem is that elite college admissions nowadays requires one to create a resume juggling so many extracurricular at a high level in addition to maintaining a near perfect GPA with high rigor courseload. This naturally favors students who have project management and executive function skills that I bet many adults do not even have. On average, girls are
better able to juggle all
this particularly in the early high school years because they mature faster and just tend to be more organized. Obviously, there are outliers for both females and males, but I’m just talking about general trends. I bet many of those smart but somewhat scattered
boys mature and “get it” by late high school and college, but by then it is hard to catch up to those who have been building up the resume experiences and skills from an earlier age.
I have 3 boys and this is all of them (they were all young for grade, too if that makes a difference). The older two struggled through junior year of HS. Put it together senior year and earned their best grades by far. Had strong standardized test scores. Unfortunately they are evaluated on 9th-11th grade for most college admissions, so the strong senior year didn’t matter much. And the bigger state schools use GPA for things like auto-merit. So even if they get in, they get less aid. Youngest kid is a 9th grader, seemed the least scatterbrained of the 3 and still experiencing the same issues they did. I don’t remember this dynamic when I was in HS.
Anonymous
02/06/2026 15:59
Subject: Gender Disparity at College
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Has any of your daughters complained about the high girl to boy ratio at their colleges?
Many of the colleges my daughter is looking at have way more girls than boys and this concerns her.
There is definitely no dating going on. My daughter has packs of girlfriends and is always meeting more but it's rare that she even has an opportunity to talk to a guy. The average-to-good looking guys have their pick of any girl they want.
It's kind of an issue but there's not anything to do and culturally they're all in it together. The girls just keep investing in female friendship.
I guess you have to make the best of the situation but ... are there really no straight guys in college to date??
are the straight guys who are there dating anyone?
I think the situation is that because there are so many girls, only the top of the pecking order get male attention. At most schools these are Instgram-model glam for lack of a better descriptive. I know this sounds nuts but my daughter and friends who are "regular girl pretty" are fairly invisible despite being open to dating very average guys. t'a a hard dynamic and isn't helped by how busy kids are these days.
From my daughter's experience, she and her friend group aren't particularly focused on dating. They have female and male friends, and are much more focused on academics and extracurricular activities than having a boyfriend. She has a great group of female friends and in visiting I've heard their concerns on a wide range of topics -- but not finding a boyfriend hasn't popped up at all.
Anonymous
02/06/2026 15:55
Subject: Gender Disparity at College
Anonymous wrote:the problem is that elite college admissions nowadays requires one to create a resume juggling so many extracurricular at a high level in addition to maintaining a near perfect GPA with high rigor courseload. This naturally favors students who have project management and executive function skills that I bet many adults do not even have. On average, girls are
better able to juggle all
this particularly in the early high school years because they mature faster and just tend to be more organized. Obviously, there are outliers for both females and males, but I’m just talking about general trends. I bet many of those smart but somewhat scattered
boys mature and “get it” by late high school and college, but by then it is hard to catch up to those who have been building up the resume experiences and skills from an earlier age.
And college bound girls also perform better on standardized tests, and have higher GPAs and AP scores. All-around stronger performers, so boys overall (and I say this as a mom of a college boy and college girls) have a ways to go to catch up to girls across the board.
Anonymous
02/06/2026 15:47
Subject: Gender Disparity at College
Most college pairs break up so just date on apps, don't make college degree a requirement, you'll not be marrying people you date in your early 20's. Times have changed.
Anonymous
02/06/2026 15:45
Subject: Gender Disparity at College
Anonymous wrote:Sample gender breakdown by College:
UCLA: F:60%, M:39%
NYU: F:59%, M:41%
UC Davis: F:59%, M:40%
Georgetown: F:58%, M:40%
Boston U: F:58%, M:42%
UW: F:57%, M:43%
UCSB: F:57%, M:42%
Emory: F:57%, M:43%
UC Berkeley: F:55%, M:43%
Tufts: F:55%, M:45%
Amherst College: F:54%, M:44%
https://machronicle.com/colleges-face-widening-gender-imbalance/
https://www.uvm.edu/magazine/news/where-are-men
https://www.bostonglobe.com/2026/01/30/metro/men-college-campus-enrollment-declines/
The split of female to male college students is 60:40 nationally, so these numbers are maybe not surprising. There are more stark examples than these. I think Tulane is like two-thirds female, as is College of Charleston. UVM is about 65%. Then for the smaller tech schools, it’s usually 60-70% boys.
Anonymous
02/06/2026 15:36
Subject: Gender Disparity at College
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It’s all real. DD at T10.
So many gay guys.
Very few dating eligible and every girl likes the same guy.
Friend who toured several SLACs in the north-East / New England at the end of last year, said:
- seemed like every 4th guy on campus was wearing a dress.
Hopefully we're at peak silliness. As many others have observed: In many fields, peak subscription comes right before the crash. Peak slavery right before no slavery at all. Peak horse right before the introduction of the automobile. Etc.
At some point this will be studied by serious students in serious universities. But until then...more diversity!!
Anonymous
02/06/2026 15:32
Subject: Gender Disparity at College
Anonymous wrote:It’s all real. DD at T10.
So many gay guys.
Very few dating eligible and every girl likes the same guy.
Friend who toured several SLACs in the north-East / New England at the end of last year, said:
- seemed like every 4th guy on campus was wearing a dress.
Anonymous
02/06/2026 15:21
Subject: Gender Disparity at College
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It’s all real. DD at T10.
So many gay guys.
Very few dating eligible and every girl likes the same guy.
For every 10 straight girls, it’s 7 guys (2.5 of which are gay).
For every 10 girls, 5 aren’t straight or experiment.
This generation is very fluid with sexuality. Traditional male:female dating in college is not popular
Anonymous
02/06/2026 14:34
Subject: Gender Disparity at College
It really feels like the only girls who will ever date are those who have a BF from high school. Nobody breaks up and nobody starts dating in college.
Anonymous
02/06/2026 14:31
Subject: Gender Disparity at College
According to dd and my mom friends with kids at many different schools, the only girls dating in college are those still with hs boyfriends.
Anonymous
02/06/2026 14:30
Subject: Gender Disparity at College
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It’s all real. DD at T10.
So many gay guys.
Very few dating eligible and every girl likes the same guy.
For every 10 straight girls, it’s 7 guys (2.5 of which are gay).
What about gay girls?
If your dd is seeking gay girls, a women's college is the place to be! The percent of gay/bi is astounding high.
Anonymous
02/06/2026 14:20
Subject: Gender Disparity at College
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It’s all real. DD at T10.
So many gay guys.
Very few dating eligible and every girl likes the same guy.
For every 10 straight girls, it’s 7 guys (2.5 of which are gay).
What about gay girls?
Anonymous
02/06/2026 13:42
Subject: Gender Disparity at College
Anonymous wrote:It’s all real. DD at T10.
So many gay guys.
Very few dating eligible and every girl likes the same guy.
For every 10 straight girls, it’s 7 guys (2.5 of which are gay).