Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks everyone for your thoughts.

I can appreciate that some kids have behavior issues which the school and their parents work on. I definitely appreciate parents who dealt with that speaking up. When I think more about it, I actually think I'm more frustrated that the school hasn't done more about it to improve what's happening in class, even if my post seemed like my frustration was directed at the kids (who as people said, are kids after all). I would have expected the kids to be sent out of the class pretty quickly when behavior crops up (to the head of the lower school or the school counselor or something like that?) rather than the teachers to be endlessly disciplining them in class.

I think I'm most frustrated because learning for the whole class is being impacted by 2 kids with behavior problems. If the kids were just swiftly dismissed to the head of lower school etc every time there was a behavior problem, I wouldn't care what was happening. Instead, it seems like class time is being taken up as the teachers (in homeroom and specials) endlessly correct these 2 boys.

My daughter told me today how they had to end math early because of 1 of the boys. The things they didn't get to would be done tomorrow during another lesson. It's nuts to be that 1 or 2 kids get to negatively impact class for everyone else.

Some people mentioned how poorly behaved kids end up in privates because their parents just assume they need a different environment. I guess maybe? But the school DD is at is a very competitive one to get into, requires a shadow day and student interview, and requires LORs from current teachers. I would think they'd be able to suss out behavior problems that way. She actually had a somewhat disruptive classmate from her public apply to her private school and he didn't get in. He was both a URM (black) and had a sibling at the school; to me, that's good evidence that her current private school is wary of behavior issues.

And these boys behavior is still like 5x better than the behavior kids in public, who were physically rough or extremely disruptive. In public, my daughter had a kid who kept flipping over his desk, another kid who pushed and shoved kids whenever he felt like it, and so many kids who couldn't stay in their seats, yelled out constantly, and made a game of their poor behavior trying to encourage others to join in. We actually felt like public school was normalizing this behavior because it happened so frequently and severely. Our private school experience has been worlds better. Perhaps I am just expected too much, though.

One of our kids is a boy, which is why we didn't consider an all girls private school, as we'd like the kids all at the same school ideally. I would be upset if my son behaved like these kids anyway. I don't think boys behavior should be excused just as a gender thing.

We moved our daughter to an all girls school this year. It is the quietest school I have ever been in. Yes, sometimes girls have disruptive behavior too but it is like night and day. So maybe something to consider if you ever decide to transfer.

+1. We moved our daughters to an all girls school for HS. It doesn't mean everyone is 100% perfectly behaved at all times but there is absolutely no classroom disruption due to kids yelling in class, swearing at teachers, squaring up, throwing stuff at each other, or trying to get everyone off-task. It's been worth every penny.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I went to private growing up and kids who were poorly behaved or disruptive were counseled out. Have things changed? Her public school had many more and worse behaved kids, so while this is still an improvement, I expected most kids at private to be fairly well behaved, especially at one that has a low admit rate and high tuition.

If the parents donate to the school, they will never be counseled out. Also, it will be very hard to avoid them even if you raise a fuss as most privates are small.

Anonymous wrote:This has to be a joke. What would I do? Nothing.

Paying tuition doesn’t buy a disruption-free bubble, it buys a better overall environment. Stay out of it, let the school do its job (but as others have said, doing its job doesn’t mean exiting the kids and you may not ever know what they haven’t or haven’t been working on with the family), and don’t be that parent in year one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks everyone for your thoughts.

I can appreciate that some kids have behavior issues which the school and their parents work on. I definitely appreciate parents who dealt with that speaking up. When I think more about it, I actually think I'm more frustrated that the school hasn't done more about it to improve what's happening in class, even if my post seemed like my frustration was directed at the kids (who as people said, are kids after all). I would have expected the kids to be sent out of the class pretty quickly when behavior crops up (to the head of the lower school or the school counselor or something like that?) rather than the teachers to be endlessly disciplining them in class.

I think I'm most frustrated because learning for the whole class is being impacted by 2 kids with behavior problems. If the kids were just swiftly dismissed to the head of lower school etc every time there was a behavior problem, I wouldn't care what was happening. Instead, it seems like class time is being taken up as the teachers (in homeroom and specials) endlessly correct these 2 boys.

My daughter told me today how they had to end math early because of 1 of the boys. The things they didn't get to would be done tomorrow during another lesson. It's nuts to be that 1 or 2 kids get to negatively impact class for everyone else.

Some people mentioned how poorly behaved kids end up in privates because their parents just assume they need a different environment. I guess maybe? But the school DD is at is a very competitive one to get into, requires a shadow day and student interview, and requires LORs from current teachers. I would think they'd be able to suss out behavior problems that way. She actually had a somewhat disruptive classmate from her public apply to her private school and he didn't get in. He was both a URM (black) and had a sibling at the school; to me, that's good evidence that her current private school is wary of behavior issues.

And these boys behavior is still like 5x better than the behavior kids in public, who were physically rough or extremely disruptive. In public, my daughter had a kid who kept flipping over his desk, another kid who pushed and shoved kids whenever he felt like it, and so many kids who couldn't stay in their seats, yelled out constantly, and made a game of their poor behavior trying to encourage others to join in. We actually felt like public school was normalizing this behavior because it happened so frequently and severely. Our private school experience has been worlds better. Perhaps I am just expected too much, though.

One of our kids is a boy, which is why we didn't consider an all girls private school, as we'd like the kids all at the same school ideally. I would be upset if my son behaved like these kids anyway. I don't think boys behavior should be excused just as a gender thing.

We moved our daughter to an all girls school this year. It is the quietest school I have ever been in. Yes, sometimes girls have disruptive behavior too but it is like night and day. So maybe something to consider if you ever decide to transfer.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I went to private growing up and kids who were poorly behaved or disruptive were counseled out. Have things changed? Her public school had many more and worse behaved kids, so while this is still an improvement, I expected most kids at private to be fairly well behaved, especially at one that has a low admit rate and high tuition.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks everyone for your thoughts.

I can appreciate that some kids have behavior issues which the school and their parents work on. I definitely appreciate parents who dealt with that speaking up. When I think more about it, I actually think I'm more frustrated that the school hasn't done more about it to improve what's happening in class, even if my post seemed like my frustration was directed at the kids (who as people said, are kids after all). I would have expected the kids to be sent out of the class pretty quickly when behavior crops up (to the head of the lower school or the school counselor or something like that?) rather than the teachers to be endlessly disciplining them in class.

I think I'm most frustrated because learning for the whole class is being impacted by 2 kids with behavior problems. If the kids were just swiftly dismissed to the head of lower school etc every time there was a behavior problem, I wouldn't care what was happening. Instead, it seems like class time is being taken up as the teachers (in homeroom and specials) endlessly correct these 2 boys.

My daughter told me today how they had to end math early because of 1 of the boys. The things they didn't get to would be done tomorrow during another lesson. It's nuts to be that 1 or 2 kids get to negatively impact class for everyone else.

Some people mentioned how poorly behaved kids end up in privates because their parents just assume they need a different environment. I guess maybe? But the school DD is at is a very competitive one to get into, requires a shadow day and student interview, and requires LORs from current teachers. I would think they'd be able to suss out behavior problems that way. She actually had a somewhat disruptive classmate from her public apply to her private school and he didn't get in. He was both a URM (black) and had a sibling at the school; to me, that's good evidence that her current private school is wary of behavior issues.

And these boys behavior is still like 5x better than the behavior kids in public, who were physically rough or extremely disruptive. In public, my daughter had a kid who kept flipping over his desk, another kid who pushed and shoved kids whenever he felt like it, and so many kids who couldn't stay in their seats, yelled out constantly, and made a game of their poor behavior trying to encourage others to join in. We actually felt like public school was normalizing this behavior because it happened so frequently and severely. Our private school experience has been worlds better. Perhaps I am just expected too much, though.

One of our kids is a boy, which is why we didn't consider an all girls private school, as we'd like the kids all at the same school ideally. I would be upset if my son behaved like these kids anyway. I don't think boys behavior should be excused just as a gender thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this K-1? If higher than that, maybe this is a lax private environment or a bad cohort. Catholic schools (at least the ones I've seen) do not tolerate this.

That’s good to know - any examples without being too specific?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read the entire OP and am hoping it's a troll based on the phrase "intriguing diversity." OMG.

Her most recent post is a red flag. A novel, and she worked “URM” in there. Bad vibes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read the entire OP and am hoping it's a troll based on the phrase "intriguing diversity." OMG.

Her most recent post is a red flag. A novel, and she worked “URM” in there. Bad vibes.

Anonymous wrote:Is this K-1? If higher than that, maybe this is a lax private environment or a bad cohort. Catholic schools (at least the ones I've seen) do not tolerate this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's nuts to be that 1 or 2 kids get to negatively impact class for everyone else.

I fear your expectations are simply not aligned with reality.

Physical violence won't be tolerated, but yapping and shouting out six seven aren't going to get any kid removed from any private school.

What should happen then? Seems our school just does gentle redirection and discipline, not much real time consequences. I'd like the boys sent out of class every time something happens (not one "6 7", but perhaps by the second or third time?). Seems crazy that class just stops every time one shouts something and the teacher disciplines him over and over, and then that's lost teaching time.