Anonymous
Post 01/20/2026 12:34     Subject: A prime example of college counseling steering
Weirder means what? Less white?
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2026 12:24     Subject: A prime example of college counseling steering
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:https://www.instagram.com/phillipsexeter26decisions/?g=5
You won't find a cluster of more than 2, 3 kids for a same school. They are steered to a WIDE range of ivy league and plus and top lac schools.
No rat race, everyone finds somewhere they are happy.
Well done!

I guarantee you that many of these kid admitted to places like Colby, Tufts, or Wesleyan had Ivy ambitions which were shot down by their college counseling office and they were encouraged to aim lower. Most of the kids are not happy with their outcomes, and many kids feel like they would've had better odds applying from their local public school because the pool is much less competitive. Instead of competing against 50 driven Exonians, they might be competing against 4 kids that aren't that impressive.

How do you know they are not happy? If they ED Colby, they are at least marginally happy enough to do that.

How do they "shoot down" these kids? No one can force you applying or not applying a certain school.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2026 10:50     Subject: A prime example of college counseling steering
Anonymous wrote:To the above poster:

Do you think that everyone knows this going in? But each thinks they will still be at the top?

My child attends a peer school. We always knew they could not compete with the very tippy top at his school, but he could get an outstanding education and still be top 1-3% nationally, even if not highly ranked in the class. As the Ivies get weirder, we think the best future network is in a fantastic boarding school with wide representation. Most importantly, the rigor and small class sizes provide the best education.

Different way of looking at it?


I actually agree. I think the best future network will be those who attended really great private and boarding schools during their K-12 years versus top colleges. I think top colleges remain cliquey so it's harder to break through socio-economic or cultural cliques if you don't already belong. People of similar backgrounds tend to cluster and stick together - like attracts like I guess at older ages. Whereas children (especially younger) tend to be more open about being friends at school with anyone they like and don't care or notice wealth as much.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2026 10:25     Subject: A prime example of college counseling steering
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:https://www.instagram.com/phillipsexeter26decisions/?g=5
You won't find a cluster of more than 2, 3 kids for a same school. They are steered to a WIDE range of ivy league and plus and top lac schools.
No rat race, everyone finds somewhere they are happy.
Well done!



We know the Exeter college process well. this isn't true whatsoever. About 50 kids apply for Harvard each year. About 10 will be admitted, but it's not the best 10 applicants. Usually, it is a combination of legacies, athletes, URMs, FGLI, etc. Exeter is wealthier than most colleges, so they have many scholarship students with great personal stories. During college admissions season, they are heavily encouraged to lean on these stories in their applications.

The counseling process looks very different for hooked and unhooked kids. A low-income black student with a B+ average could be encouraged to ED to Penn. I've seen Exeter black kids with C's or worse in math class get into Yale over the years. Meanwhile, an unhooked kid with a 10/11 GPA (very strong at Exeter) will be encouraged to shoot for Cornell or Dartmouth ED.

I guarantee you that many of these kid admitted to places like Colby, Tufts, or Wesleyan had Ivy ambitions which were shot down by their college counseling office and they were encouraged to aim lower. Most of the kids are not happy with their outcomes, and many kids feel like they would've had better odds applying from their local public school because the pool is much less competitive. Instead of competing against 50 driven Exonians, they might be competing against 4 kids that aren't that impressive.

Why wouldn’t the college counselor diversify the top 50 kids to HYPSM so each is taking 10? 😉
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2026 10:02     Subject: A prime example of college counseling steering
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:https://www.instagram.com/phillipsexeter26decisions/?g=5
You won't find a cluster of more than 2, 3 kids for a same school. They are steered to a WIDE range of ivy league and plus and top lac schools.
No rat race, everyone finds somewhere they are happy.
Well done!



We know the Exeter college process well. this isn't true whatsoever. About 50 kids apply for Harvard each year. About 10 will be admitted, but it's not the best 10 applicants. Usually, it is a combination of legacies, athletes, URMs, FGLI, etc. Exeter is wealthier than most colleges, so they have many scholarship students with great personal stories. During college admissions season, they are heavily encouraged to lean on these stories in their applications.

The counseling process looks very different for hooked and unhooked kids. A low-income black student with a B+ average could be encouraged to ED to Penn. I've seen Exeter black kids with C's or worse in math class get into Yale over the years. Meanwhile, an unhooked kid with a 10/11 GPA (very strong at Exeter) will be encouraged to shoot for Cornell or Dartmouth ED.

I guarantee you that many of these kid admitted to places like Colby, Tufts, or Wesleyan had Ivy ambitions which were shot down by their college counseling office and they were encouraged to aim lower. Most of the kids are not happy with their outcomes, and many kids feel like they would've had better odds applying from their local public school because the pool is much less competitive. Instead of competing against 50 driven Exonians, they might be competing against 4 kids that aren't that impressive.


I know the Andover process well and just so nobody is confused, these are the right categories but let's make sure we know the order. It' snot really about black kid with the B+. That kid will get in every other year, and there are many at Andover. And I've never seen a black kid with Cs in math get into HYP - maybe if it was a C first semester freshman year and now his SAT is a 780 in math. (Harvard uses questbridge now to get the low income URM from these schools). And legacies and FGLI with a B+ have a little big better odds. But still tough.

Here's who gets into Harvard: the rower with the B+. the tennis player with a 1480. the football player with a B average and a 1450. the squash player who isn't a top 20 ranked and has no other EC are all. the "sailing team" who all get in who are not top 10% of the class. the soccer player who is a good student but a top 10 kid.

It's the athletes guys. Always and always.


Yes, and as someone with Exeter/Andover experience, I'd add that top Andover students 5.8+ GPA can get into Harvard, but it's not guaranteed at all. You still need a stellar resume, which calls into question whether Andover matters at all for admissions.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2026 09:27     Subject: A prime example of college counseling steering
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:https://www.instagram.com/phillipsexeter26decisions/?g=5
You won't find a cluster of more than 2, 3 kids for a same school. They are steered to a WIDE range of ivy league and plus and top lac schools.
No rat race, everyone finds somewhere they are happy.
Well done!



We know the Exeter college process well. this isn't true whatsoever. About 50 kids apply for Harvard each year. About 10 will be admitted, but it's not the best 10 applicants. Usually, it is a combination of legacies, athletes, URMs, FGLI, etc. Exeter is wealthier than most colleges, so they have many scholarship students with great personal stories. During college admissions season, they are heavily encouraged to lean on these stories in their applications.

The counseling process looks very different for hooked and unhooked kids. A low-income black student with a B+ average could be encouraged to ED to Penn. I've seen Exeter black kids with C's or worse in math class get into Yale over the years. Meanwhile, an unhooked kid with a 10/11 GPA (very strong at Exeter) will be encouraged to shoot for Cornell or Dartmouth ED.

I guarantee you that many of these kid admitted to places like Colby, Tufts, or Wesleyan had Ivy ambitions which were shot down by their college counseling office and they were encouraged to aim lower. Most of the kids are not happy with their outcomes, and many kids feel like they would've had better odds applying from their local public school because the pool is much less competitive. Instead of competing against 50 driven Exonians, they might be competing against 4 kids that aren't that impressive.


I know the Andover process well and just so nobody is confused, these are the right categories but let's make sure we know the order. It' snot really about black kid with the B+. That kid will get in every other year, and there are many at Andover. And I've never seen a black kid with Cs in math get into HYP - maybe if it was a C first semester freshman year and now his SAT is a 780 in math. (Harvard uses questbridge now to get the low income URM from these schools). And legacies and FGLI with a B+ have a little big better odds. But still tough.

Here's who gets into Harvard: the rower with the B+. the tennis player with a 1480. the football player with a B average and a 1450. the squash player who isn't a top 20 ranked and has no other EC are all. the "sailing team" who all get in who are not top 10% of the class. the soccer player who is a good student but a top 10 kid.

It's the athletes guys. Always and always.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2026 09:23     Subject: A prime example of college counseling steering
They better have decent college acceptances for their families paying almost 400K for high school.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2026 09:16     Subject: A prime example of college counseling steering
To add to the post above, I'd also expand by saying that most DMV parents that send their kids to schools like Exeter don't understand that many students at top-tier high schools enter with experience in calculus, chemistry, physics, and foreign languages. They start off far ahead the rest of the pack, and these kids tend to be the top students during graduation.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2026 08:36     Subject: A prime example of college counseling steering
Anonymous wrote:To the above poster:

Do you think that everyone knows this going in? But each thinks they will still be at the top?

My child attends a peer school. We always knew they could not compete with the very tippy top at his school, but he could get an outstanding education and still be top 1-3% nationally, even if not highly ranked in the class. As the Ivies get weirder, we think the best future network is in a fantastic boarding school with wide representation. Most importantly, the rigor and small class sizes provide the best education.

Different way of looking at it?


I think a lot of families without experience at Exeter and the other top boarding schools (Andover, Choate, St.Paul's, Lawrenceville, etc.) have a hard time conceptualizing how competitive they are internally. They understand their kid might not be the very top student. But almost everyone seems to assume their kid will be in the top 20% Almost no one thinks their kid will be in the bottom half of the class.

Again, I've witnessed students with sterling 4.5+ GPAs at their public school transfer into Exeter and immediately fall to a 9-9.5 GPA (B+) They're stunned to see the same quality of essay that easily netted an "A" at public school receive a "B" or worse at Exeter. These students would've received better grades and be better positioned for college admissions had they just remained in public school.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2026 06:42     Subject: A prime example of college counseling steering
I know a ton of Exeter grads who went to a wide range of schools, and this was in the 90s when it was easier. There were so many Exeter grads in my class at a NESCAC school that they took their own picture at our last reunion.

My point is that the days of Exeter or Andover sending all students to Ivies ended decades ago. It’s very likely that the kids going to “Lesser” schools couldn’t aim higher even if they wanted to.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2026 06:42     Subject: A prime example of college counseling steering
To the above poster:

Do you think that everyone knows this going in? But each thinks they will still be at the top?

My child attends a peer school. We always knew they could not compete with the very tippy top at his school, but he could get an outstanding education and still be top 1-3% nationally, even if not highly ranked in the class. As the Ivies get weirder, we think the best future network is in a fantastic boarding school with wide representation. Most importantly, the rigor and small class sizes provide the best education.

Different way of looking at it?
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2026 06:28     Subject: A prime example of college counseling steering
Anonymous wrote:https://www.instagram.com/phillipsexeter26decisions/?g=5
You won't find a cluster of more than 2, 3 kids for a same school. They are steered to a WIDE range of ivy league and plus and top lac schools.
No rat race, everyone finds somewhere they are happy.
Well done!



We know the Exeter college process well. this isn't true whatsoever. About 50 kids apply for Harvard each year. About 10 will be admitted, but it's not the best 10 applicants. Usually, it is a combination of legacies, athletes, URMs, FGLI, etc. Exeter is wealthier than most colleges, so they have many scholarship students with great personal stories. During college admissions season, they are heavily encouraged to lean on these stories in their applications.

The counseling process looks very different for hooked and unhooked kids. A low-income black student with a B+ average could be encouraged to ED to Penn. I've seen Exeter black kids with C's or worse in math class get into Yale over the years. Meanwhile, an unhooked kid with a 10/11 GPA (very strong at Exeter) will be encouraged to shoot for Cornell or Dartmouth ED.

I guarantee you that many of these kid admitted to places like Colby, Tufts, or Wesleyan had Ivy ambitions which were shot down by their college counseling office and they were encouraged to aim lower. Most of the kids are not happy with their outcomes, and many kids feel like they would've had better odds applying from their local public school because the pool is much less competitive. Instead of competing against 50 driven Exonians, they might be competing against 4 kids that aren't that impressive.
Anonymous
Post 01/20/2026 00:39     Subject: A prime example of college counseling steering
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The original Phillips in Massachusetts does the same. I had a friend whose son went there and they steered him to UIUC. Oh a girl from DC’s class who attended ended up at UC Davis. I believe she is a Harvard legacy. Wonder if she was even allowed to apply to Harvard if she ended up at Davis.


Some kids are adamant about going to school in CA. On UC Davis family day in fall ‘25, I encountered a father of a high stats Connecticut kid who was going to UCD for this reason. Combination of location and program can lead to this result.


Barely anyone in California finds Davis to be a desirable location. UCLA or Santa Barbara sure, but not Davis - the only explanation I would find more plausible is wanting to major in viticulture or animal science/pre-vet.


Agree with this. I have family in Davis and it certainly has a cute town and the school is strong in bio, agriculture, vet, etc. BUT it's location is pretty far away from SF/East Bay and UC Davis unfortunately has the reputation of being full of kids who couldn't get into Cal, UCLA or UCSD (and maybe UCSB or UCI also).


This is really hilarious. UC Davis is 15 miles from a Top 25 metro, Sacramento, with a thriving entertainment district for young people, Midtown, 60-75 miles away from the East Bay (an hour and half by Amtrak) and 90 miles from SF. People can take the Amtrak from Davis and connect to the BART directly into SF. I've done that many times from nearby Sacramento.

If UC Davis were located in the northeast, people would be celebrating its proximity to major urban areas.

I get that in state kids prefer to be in UCs along the coast (although UCSD is a miserable campus architecturally), but the notion that UC Davis is isolated is comical.

Anonymous
Post 01/20/2026 00:05     Subject: A prime example of college counseling steering
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The original Phillips in Massachusetts does the same. I had a friend whose son went there and they steered him to UIUC. Oh a girl from DC’s class who attended ended up at UC Davis. I believe she is a Harvard legacy. Wonder if she was even allowed to apply to Harvard if she ended up at Davis.


Some kids are adamant about going to school in CA. On UC Davis family day in fall ‘25, I encountered a father of a high stats Connecticut kid who was going to UCD for this reason. Combination of location and program can lead to this result.


Barely anyone in California finds Davis to be a desirable location. UCLA or Santa Barbara sure, but not Davis - the only explanation I would find more plausible is wanting to major in viticulture or animal science/pre-vet.


Agree with this. I have family in Davis and it certainly has a cute town and the school is strong in bio, agriculture, vet, etc. BUT it's location is pretty far away from SF/East Bay and UC Davis unfortunately has the reputation of being full of kids who couldn't get into Cal, UCLA or UCSD (and maybe UCSB or UCI also).


I think that might be changing now that all the top 6 UCs are hard to get into for high stat kids from wealthy areas. DS got into SB, SD and Davis. He really struggled to decide because he did not like UCSD at all based on his visit and talking to current students he knows, he was on the fence about SB because everyone wants SB but he really liked Davis. SB is lower ranked - 40 but a harder admit. He’s happy he picked Davis and has found a bunch of Bay Area , SoCal and International kids that really like it.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2026 20:46     Subject: A prime example of college counseling steering
Presumably these kids are all from well connected families. One thing I noticed is that they are not school snobs.

The kids go to schools that are the best fit for them. Sure some of them are going to attend ivies. But two third of kids are going to second tier schools or third tier.