It’s definitely rougher for high stat students who don’t get into their early decision school or don’t apply early decision. Writing/adapting dozens of essays to different prompts and word counts - not fun.

God, No

The parent who is over anxious or too involved can really ruin this experience for the student.

Set aside time, like over coffee or pizza, to check in with your student. Do not do it all the time!

If you don’t get at least one rejection, you didn’t shoot high enough. Tell your student that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, mine did. They liked the common app, the web interface, filling it out, adding the colleges. Hitting submit! The supplements were their least favorite part. If those went away, the process would be much less annoying.

+2. Common App is well designed and easy to use. I loved seeing the confetti each time my kid hit the 'submit' button. It truly was a HUGE relief!

Yeah, no cleanup like with real confetti

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s like childbirth, you forget how bad it was.

I’m going through it with my 2nd kid again and all of the old “what a complete PIA, and insufferable process with schools really stringing kids along this is ….”

I had forgotten .

At least with childbirth you get love of your life mushy cute human.

And not a $400k hospital bill

Anonymous wrote:It’s like childbirth, you forget how bad it was.

I’m going through it with my 2nd kid again and all of the old “what a complete PIA, and insufferable process with schools really stringing kids along this is ….”

I had forgotten .

At least with childbirth you get love of your life mushy cute human.

I’ve gone through it with three kids and am thrilled to be done (in ED). It’s a brutal process with tons of details to keep track of and a lot of emotions involved. But I enjoyed the college visits, road tripping with my kids, exploring new areas, and visiting nearby old friends. I’ve also loved seeing all the old friends visiting our city to look at schools with their juniors and seniors.

Anonymous wrote:How did your kid decide on an essay topic?

Whom to ask for recommendation letter?

To add anything to the additional info section on the application.

1.) Talked through ideas with me. (I'm the more involved parent.)

2.) Your school will provide some guidance on this. Our school recommends two teachers from core academic subjects from junior year. Some schools will say, one core academic teacher, then the other one can be from an elective teacher or a teacher from an earlier grade.

3.) Most advice says no, don't add anything. My kids all had some reasons for grade dips. But explaining them would have run the risk of sounding like they were making excuses. So, they did not elaborate.

I have three kids, two boys and a girl, roughly comparable academically. Boys wound up at state flagships, girl wound up at a SLAC.

My daughter was the most "into" the process. As a family, I would say we did enjoy it. It's cool to see them start to understand what the rest of their lives could be like.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved it ALL. Every minute. Helping kid research, searching CDS, finding "majors" that kid might want to research. Listening to podcast, making notes.

Every single minute.

You should be a college counselor since you loved this so much!

How?

Anonymous wrote:Yes, mine did. They liked the common app, the web interface, filling it out, adding the colleges. Hitting submit! The supplements were their least favorite part. If those went away, the process would be much less annoying.

+2. Common App is well designed and easy to use. I loved seeing the confetti each time my kid hit the 'submit' button. It truly was a HUGE relief!

It’s like childbirth, you forget how bad it was.

I’m going through it with my 2nd kid again and all of the old “what a complete PIA, and insufferable process with schools really stringing kids along this is ….”

I had forgotten .

Only a masochist would enjoy this process. lol

Anonymous wrote:Parent of a junior here. For those who've gone through this, is there anything that you think helped ease the process, or would have in retrospect? I'm trying to pay attention to which schools notify early (like Pitt, or those with EA that give an answer by Christmas)--seems like getting a couple acceptances from places a kid likes can be so psychologically helpful. I'm wondering if it even makes sense to check out the ultra-reach schools with single-digit acceptances, or just forget about them. Worth trying to apply to as few schools as possible? Are there benefits to forgoing ED? With a junior I feel like we are "supposed to" hunt for a first choice for ED purposes.

Any advice is most welcome.

College visits are the fun part, it really helps them to see kids just a year or so older than them going through their day/ interacting etc. Try to focus by types of colleges, i.e. size (small, medium, large) and location (urban, suburban, rural) to help hone in. As to whether you should visit any of the ultra selective ones it depends on whether your student has any shot, and then whether it would be a fit. Look at the common data sets and see if your student is at or above the 50th percentile (generally this top 10% of their high school class and ~1520-1550 SAT). Start tours with ones with higher acceptance rates so your kid knows that they will be happy and great wherever they go. The Fiske guide is a great resource, highlights academics as well as student life factors at each school.

Definitely encourage your kid to apply to some schools with rolling decisions and EA so that they will likely have an acceptance or two sooner rather than later, it is a big relief. How many to apply to depends on student (higher stats kids applying to reach schools tend to apply to more because of the single digit acceptance rates). Encourage your kid to start the application process now- there are things juniors can do, work on the list of EC's/resume; do research on colleges, sign up for mailing lists for the ones they like (some track interest); study up on college majors, look at ones adjacent to what they think they are interested in; think through who they will ask for recommendation letters (sooner rather than later, best to ask spring semester of junior year, don't wait until senior year). Get them to organize for the coming workload.

Things to avoid, don't make this a group discussion. Everyone knows high school kids are thinking about college/applying etc but it is super unhelpful for the kids to have to be asked by everyone (not just family it's neighbors, shop keepers, parents' friends etc)where they are applying/going to college. People don't mean any harm but in with the current super low admit rates it just adds pressure. Run interference for your kid- answer for them with a non committal "its really early," or deflection like "it's so much different than we when went through it," ask family members not to bring it up, your kid will talk about it if they want to with whom they want to. Just help your kid have some spaces/times when they don't have to think about college admissions.

DC 1- male, good, not great student, great ECs, applied to fav target with rolling admission and was notified before Thanksgiving of admission, applied to two reaches and pulled all other target apps.
Was okay with process, slight regret of not having a few more acceptances, but happy where they ended up.

DC 2- female, IEP student with good, not great grades. Also kept it real with mostly target and one or two safeties, only 1 reach. Early admission to a safety and target helped when dream school, a reach, was a rejection. Was deferred to one accepted to all other schools and reportedly ‘liked’ the process.

DC 3- high stats, loads of APs, varsity sports plus other high-level EVs, mid 1500 SATs. Hated the process and is very stressed. Current senior with 1 Ivy federal- in at some safeties. Decided not to EDII and may regret that option here soon.

So my take going through this process with three very different DCs,
- the process is more difficult for high stats kids
- early acceptances, help deferrals and rejections down the road
- even if you get in at a preferred school, you may want to continue applications for March madness choices
- lean heavy on target schools with at least two safeties

And from the parent perspective, it was all hellish, but marginally better than high school as there are far more options available!


Good luck!