Anonymous
01/14/2026 09:41
Subject: At what point are you comfortable with big, frivolous purchases?
Get a cheap version of it and see if you still love it in a year? If you do, and the economy hasn’t imploded, then buy?
Anonymous
01/14/2026 09:02
Subject: At what point are you comfortable with big, frivolous purchases?
Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t, it’s stressful to have expensive pieces that can get lost or stolen
For me it's half that, and half the fact that many pieces of jewelry (unless very unique) do not look that different if real v. fake. I have a tennis bracelet I get compliments on all the time and it was cheap on Amazon, same with a necklace I got at TJ Maxx. So where is the value? Is it resale, passing it down, looking at it and feeling some sense of "I've arrived", is it the specific look of it...?
Anonymous
01/14/2026 06:35
Subject: At what point are you comfortable with big, frivolous purchases?
I wouldn’t, it’s stressful to have expensive pieces that can get lost or stolen
Anonymous
01/14/2026 06:19
Subject: At what point are you comfortable with big, frivolous purchases?
It’s a personal decision at the end of the day. For the last few years our family has not done any expensive travel or any splurge purchases like that at that level. We do donate around that amount annually to various charities we are involved with. I also feel guilt about these things, and I just felt our money would be better served giving to others instead of ourselves. I did just buy a purse on sale for $150 (originally $300) for myself for Christmas with a gift card, so maybe there are purchases for yourself that cost less? I saw these boots I really loved at a store and they were also around $300. I went home and researched and found almost exact identical boots for around $50 that I wear all the time now. Maybe there is a way to find a similar necklace for a lot less?
Anonymous
01/13/2026 23:10
Subject: At what point are you comfortable with big, frivolous purchases?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:All of last year I was in survival mode knowing that I would likely lose my job as a federal contractor and as the main breadwinner in my family. We cut back on a lot and saved as much as we could in case I lost my job and managed to get about 8 months of expenses into liquid savings. I found a new job in December which should be pretty stable (no longer tied to the federal sector) and although it was a pretty hefty paycut we're still able to save.
Last year was also the year I turned 40. I had really wanted to buy a piece of jewelry I've had my eye on for years (in the ~$5K range, but it's gone up because of the price of gold). I obviously didn't because of everything going on. I would like to buy it now but feel immense guilt doing so and I'm not sure why -- perhaps because it would be the most I've spent on just me (e.g., not a family trip or trip with my husband or a home improvement or heck something for my kid, just me).
I know we can afford it (I think?). I'm 40, partner is 44. We collectively have $1.25m in retirement, $225K in liquid and taxable investments. Kid has a fully funded 529 thanks to grandparents (they're 11 and have over $400K in there). No debt other than mortgage. So I can afford to just take the $5K out of savings and buy the bracelet, right? Argh, why do I feel so guilty!!
I’m very frugal unless it’s related to fine travel and then all bets are off. I wouldn’t do this as it’s not my style. I lose rings terribly. Do what you wanna do. I’d rather have experiences. 2.5 million retirement.
PP again. I also donate at least $5 K a year to my church that does a lot of charitable work and to individuals who are sick or in need without them knowing my name.
Anonymous
01/13/2026 23:04
Subject: At what point are you comfortable with big, frivolous purchases?
I’ll be the contrarian - because you’ve obviously been coveting it and thinking about it - just buy it. Enjoy it. And in six months if you still love that you spent the money, then the waiting served you well. If on the other hand you start thinking why did I buy this? Your brain will adjust to a new way of thinking about materialism in the future and you’ll make different decisions in the future
Anonymous
01/13/2026 22:56
Subject: At what point are you comfortable with big, frivolous purchases?
Anonymous wrote:All of last year I was in survival mode knowing that I would likely lose my job as a federal contractor and as the main breadwinner in my family. We cut back on a lot and saved as much as we could in case I lost my job and managed to get about 8 months of expenses into liquid savings. I found a new job in December which should be pretty stable (no longer tied to the federal sector) and although it was a pretty hefty paycut we're still able to save.
Last year was also the year I turned 40. I had really wanted to buy a piece of jewelry I've had my eye on for years (in the ~$5K range, but it's gone up because of the price of gold). I obviously didn't because of everything going on. I would like to buy it now but feel immense guilt doing so and I'm not sure why -- perhaps because it would be the most I've spent on just me (e.g., not a family trip or trip with my husband or a home improvement or heck something for my kid, just me).
I know we can afford it (I think?). I'm 40, partner is 44. We collectively have $1.25m in retirement, $225K in liquid and taxable investments. Kid has a fully funded 529 thanks to grandparents (they're 11 and have over $400K in there). No debt other than mortgage. So I can afford to just take the $5K out of savings and buy the bracelet, right? Argh, why do I feel so guilty!!
I’m very frugal unless it’s related to fine travel and then all bets are off. I wouldn’t do this as it’s not my style. I lose rings terribly. Do what you wanna do. I’d rather have experiences. 2.5 million retirement.
Anonymous
01/13/2026 22:43
Subject: At what point are you comfortable with big, frivolous purchases?
Wait, so last year you were worried that a job loss would mean you couldn't pay your bills, and this year you're thinking about blowing $5k? Yeah, no, you can't afford that. Where do people get these ideas?
Anonymous
01/13/2026 21:33
Subject: At what point are you comfortable with big, frivolous purchases?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:There's a YouTuber I follow (sorry can't recall name) and she said she got the advice to never buy anything expensive you can't buy two of and that it's served her well. She's rich now.
So, if you can't easily afford two $5K bracelets, you can't afford it.
This approach is stupid.
Disagree. We've lived by that advice too. It removes a lot stress with owning expensive items because if you lose or damage it the world doesn't end. Just buy another. Too many people buy (or lease) all the way up to their limit and it creates a lot of stress if anything goes wrong.
With the $1.5m NW OP could probably spend an extra 2k a month forever though and never run out of money. So buying some expensive jewelry is not a big deal unless they make a habit out of it.
Anonymous
01/13/2026 21:32
Subject: Re:At what point are you comfortable with big, frivolous purchases?
I’ll let you know lol. I’d rather give to charity but you do you
Anonymous
01/13/2026 21:27
Subject: At what point are you comfortable with big, frivolous purchases?
I am still not comfortable with spending money on anything excessive. In my 60s.
We were public servants, multi degreed. Grew up comfortable in the 60s and 70s. I mean, there was never enough money for anything but basics. I see all the garbage about Boomer living the lavish lifestyle that this generation will never have. What lifestyle- all the people we know were in the same boat- recession after recession. No giant house, no vacations, or just eating out often. But, we made it work. Now we have some money, we saved and now have modest pensions and modest inheritances. We just learned that we don't really need a lot and could buy quite a bit, but no longer care about doing so v
We were public servants, multi degreed. Grew up comfortable in the 60s and 70s. I mean, there was never enough money for anything but basics. I see all the garbage about Boomer living the lavish lifestyle that this generation will never have. What lifestyle- all the people we know were in the same boat- recession after recession. No giant house, no vacations, or just eating out often. But, we made it work. Now we have some money, we saved and now have modest pensions and modest inheritances. We just learned that we don't really need a lot and could buy quite a bit, but no longer care about doing so v
Anonymous
01/13/2026 21:08
Subject: At what point are you comfortable with big, frivolous purchases?
Anonymous wrote:5k? Hahaha
No but you could get yourself a nice piece for $500 for your birthday.
+1
Anonymous
01/13/2026 21:07
Subject: At what point are you comfortable with big, frivolous purchases?
I was pissed at my DH and bought myself a 4k diamond ring. I now regret it. I totally don't need it.
Anonymous
01/13/2026 21:00
Subject: Re:At what point are you comfortable with big, frivolous purchases?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What does your husband think about this, OP?
Who the heck cares? (not op)
And we wonder why the divorce rate is so high.
Anonymous
01/13/2026 20:58
Subject: Re:At what point are you comfortable with big, frivolous purchases?
Anonymous wrote:What does your husband think about this, OP?
Who the heck cares? (not op)