Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your current perspective is highly influenced by a 1 and 3 year old. They are hard years! It seems you can never finish a task before someone needs something from you. This s is temporary and it will slow down. That said, my DH and I are 69 and 70 and life is good. We are both active, travel when we want, and are able and willing to help with our new baby grandchild. My only suggestion is to focus on your young family and your relationship with your spouse. The rest really isn’t that important.

Honestly, as a parent of young adults, I would rather trade these for the sweet years of taking care of a 1 and 3 year old. They are physically needy, but pretty emotionally easy. Cute and fun. The problems that can occur in late teenage, early adult years are bigger, more emotionally draining and largely out of your control. Enjoy your time now.

I enjoyed my kids' adolescence and early adulthood much, much more than when they were 3 and 1. Lack of sleep is a killer.

+1 oh yes. I loved being a mom to late tweens and teens, and I got a lot more sleep and exercise, too.

I wonder if the older people look unhappy to you, OP, because by a certain age, most people have learned how many people have real struggles, and they don't want to be insensitive by those struggles about how content they are. Also, as a rule, people process their struggles and stresses by talking about them. So there's a natural inclination to (1) stay mum on the good things, and (2) articulate stress, which can lead an outsider to perceive that it's all stress.

BTW, I'm 55, and my greatest sources of happiness, peace, and contentment are pretty quiet and private. Even if you knew me, you'd never "see" them. If you paid attention, you might notice small things -- like the fact that I try to make small, meaningful connections with people as I move through the world, which isn't something that miserable people tend to do. But would you see happiness itself? I guess I don't know what that would look like.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your current perspective is highly influenced by a 1 and 3 year old. They are hard years! It seems you can never finish a task before someone needs something from you. This s is temporary and it will slow down. That said, my DH and I are 69 and 70 and life is good. We are both active, travel when we want, and are able and willing to help with our new baby grandchild. My only suggestion is to focus on your young family and your relationship with your spouse. The rest really isn’t that important.

Honestly, as a parent of young adults, I would rather trade these for the sweet years of taking care of a 1 and 3 year old. They are physically needy, but pretty emotionally easy. Cute and fun. The problems that can occur in late teenage, early adult years are bigger, more emotionally draining and largely out of your control. Enjoy your time now.

I enjoyed my kids' adolescence and early adulthood much, much more than when they were 3 and 1. Lack of sleep is a killer.

Anonymous wrote:^I will add: I am a person of faith. We live in a jealously selfish, secular, cynical society that happily pooh-poohs faith in anything other than self or technology, but I believe strongly that my faith and prayer are bedrocks of my happiness.

Yes, this.

I am happy but also worried, job stability, parent health, etc. it depends how you define “best life” - other than childhood and early adolescence, each age has their own worries and responsibilities. Issues keep coming up.

I would say I am content. I’m almost 46. Finances and marriage are good. HS kids seem on a decent path to a good college.

I do feel a little bit like “what next?” when youngest leaves in 3 years. My only real hobbies are reading and planning travel. I haven’t been good at maintaining strong female friendships so I definitely could work on that but it’s daunting. I’m a bit of an introvert/homebody but I do get lonely because my DH has a demanding job. I also could and should exercise more - I have utterly failed at that.

I’m probably the most content I’ve been in my life, and I’m 56.

48 completely miserable
Life and body falling apart
Future looks bleak

Those ages are hellish, op. They were dark days for me.

Now my kids are in college and a junior in high school and life is amazing actually. I am 49.

69 year old male & never happier. Still working part-time. 2 kids are thriving in their careers. Wife is still active & fun. No hobbies except lifting weights.

Anonymous wrote:Your current perspective is highly influenced by a 1 and 3 year old. They are hard years! It seems you can never finish a task before someone needs something from you. This s is temporary and it will slow down. That said, my DH and I are 69 and 70 and life is good. We are both active, travel when we want, and are able and willing to help with our new baby grandchild. My only suggestion is to focus on your young family and your relationship with your spouse. The rest really isn’t that important.

Honestly, as a parent of young adults, I would rather trade these for the sweet years of taking care of a 1 and 3 year old. They are physically needy, but pretty emotionally easy. Cute and fun. The problems that can occur in late teenage, early adult years are bigger, more emotionally draining and largely out of your control. Enjoy your time now.

Mid 50s and largely happy with life. DH and I have our ups and downs but I'm generally content with my marriage and we are good partners. Kids are in college/new grad, doing well, and still like to spend time with us. I make time to see friends every week and my mom and sister recently moved to live near me so I get to see them regularly. I take a fun exercise class a few times a week and my health is excellent. I do a couple volunteer things that I can see ramping up when I retire. Financially on track to retire in four years but in the meantime I have a pretty easy well paid job that I like.

For me, the most important parts of being happy are having good relationships and maintaining your health (which is not always in your control). The early years with kids can be hard and isolating.

I just turned 55. My kids are both in their early 20s. I have a semi-empty nest. I've been single for 15 years. I have a thriving social life and am very happy. Many of my friends are 50s-60s (both partnered and not) and are also pretty happy.

Anonymous wrote:The wealthy #DINKWADS# seem to be living it up and loving life in their 60s and beyond but, like you, that ship has sailed for me so not sure what the best answer is.

The DINKWADS in my neighborhood all seem to retire in their 50s. If they work, it’s because they love their job.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you have a narrow view of happiness? I am quite happy. I am 48.

Np, 48 and also quite happy. For what it’s worth, 30s were my least favorite decade. It’s when I had the most responsibility as far a bills, not yet hitting the mark professionally, childrearing and marriage.

Kids are now grown, I’m financially and professionally doing great, and I am divorced. I consider 40s as the sweet spot so far.

Most DCUM readers don’t have fully grown kids at mid-40s.