Anonymous
01/15/2026 06:56
Subject: SAHM’s who used to work - what salary did you leave behind?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:350k stressful job 5 years ago. Spouse makes 180k and recently I get worried about the economy but not worried enough to try to get a paying job. I love my freedom and time.
Maybe this is just me, but absent very specific circumstances (tons of money in the bank already, massive inheritance, child with very severe special needs requiring a parent at home etc), I just don't get this at all. Unless it's some kind of troll post.
You would understand if you’d ever had an incredibly stressful and/or toxic job situation. It interferes with all aspects of life including physical health. It’s not worth any amount of money if you have ti give up your health, physically or mentally
You need some money to live. $180k seems very, very low these days.
Anonymous
01/15/2026 06:36
Subject: SAHM’s who used to work - what salary did you leave behind?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:350k stressful job 5 years ago. Spouse makes 180k and recently I get worried about the economy but not worried enough to try to get a paying job. I love my freedom and time.
Maybe this is just me, but absent very specific circumstances (tons of money in the bank already, massive inheritance, child with very severe special needs requiring a parent at home etc), I just don't get this at all. Unless it's some kind of troll post.
I'm not really sure what you mean but to me life is not all about money and work. The freedom of choice what to do with my time and my mental health means a lot more. Within 3 months of quitting, I looked for other jobs because I was not used to having so much "free" time but every time I interviewed it made me remember how awful the work culture is-short staffed to maximize profit, high turnover, inefficiencies, work politics/drama etc. and people were so unhappy, I can see it during interviews. When I was offered a position, I negotiated for certain things and I remember feeling a dread while waiting for a response. I was actually relieved they didn't want to accept all my requirements. That was when I knew I didn't want to go back to the corporate culture. Also it took awhile to let myself be OK with not being "productive" which is making money, I settle down a lot more.
Sure I made more than my spouse but my job was also way more stressful and more hours. He works from home and we spend more time together now. I take care of most of the household/kids/finance stuff and yes going from 500k+ HHI to 180k is a big difference and we probably don't save much. I also came to realize that I don't really need 500k+ HHI to be happy. All our basic needs are met, we get to travel, and kids have activities. Life is simpler and less materialistic but more fulfilling. What works for me may not work for others.
Sounds like you made the right choice. Good for you
Anonymous
01/15/2026 00:09
Subject: SAHM’s who used to work - what salary did you leave behind?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:350k stressful job 5 years ago. Spouse makes 180k and recently I get worried about the economy but not worried enough to try to get a paying job. I love my freedom and time.
Maybe this is just me, but absent very specific circumstances (tons of money in the bank already, massive inheritance, child with very severe special needs requiring a parent at home etc), I just don't get this at all. Unless it's some kind of troll post.
I'm not really sure what you mean but to me life is not all about money and work. The freedom of choice what to do with my time and my mental health means a lot more. Within 3 months of quitting, I looked for other jobs because I was not used to having so much "free" time but every time I interviewed it made me remember how awful the work culture is-short staffed to maximize profit, high turnover, inefficiencies, work politics/drama etc. and people were so unhappy, I can see it during interviews. When I was offered a position, I negotiated for certain things and I remember feeling a dread while waiting for a response. I was actually relieved they didn't want to accept all my requirements. That was when I knew I didn't want to go back to the corporate culture. Also it took awhile to let myself be OK with not being "productive" which is making money, I settle down a lot more.
Sure I made more than my spouse but my job was also way more stressful and more hours. He works from home and we spend more time together now. I take care of most of the household/kids/finance stuff and yes going from 500k+ HHI to 180k is a big difference and we probably don't save much. I also came to realize that I don't really need 500k+ HHI to be happy. All our basic needs are met, we get to travel, and kids have activities. Life is simpler and less materialistic but more fulfilling. What works for me may not work for others.
Anonymous
01/14/2026 21:25
Subject: SAHM’s who used to work - what salary did you leave behind?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:350k stressful job 5 years ago. Spouse makes 180k and recently I get worried about the economy but not worried enough to try to get a paying job. I love my freedom and time.
Maybe this is just me, but absent very specific circumstances (tons of money in the bank already, massive inheritance, child with very severe special needs requiring a parent at home etc), I just don't get this at all. Unless it's some kind of troll post.
You would understand if you’d ever had an incredibly stressful and/or toxic job situation. It interferes with all aspects of life including physical health. It’s not worth any amount of money if you have ti give up your health, physically or mentally
So it's OK to put it all on your spouse, who earns half your salary and is now supporting the whole family? I get quitting a toxic job, but not even trying to get another one just seems like something else..
My BIL is trying to do this to me sister right now and I’m so angry on her behalf. All he does is unload on her about his toxic job he wants to quit. It’s so annoying. She’s carrying the whole family right now because he needs a break to figure out life?
Divorce is the answer here.
Anonymous
01/14/2026 21:17
Subject: SAHM’s who used to work - what salary did you leave behind?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:350k stressful job 5 years ago. Spouse makes 180k and recently I get worried about the economy but not worried enough to try to get a paying job. I love my freedom and time.
Maybe this is just me, but absent very specific circumstances (tons of money in the bank already, massive inheritance, child with very severe special needs requiring a parent at home etc), I just don't get this at all. Unless it's some kind of troll post.
You would understand if you’d ever had an incredibly stressful and/or toxic job situation. It interferes with all aspects of life including physical health. It’s not worth any amount of money if you have ti give up your health, physically or mentally
So it's OK to put it all on your spouse, who earns half your salary and is now supporting the whole family? I get quitting a toxic job, but not even trying to get another one just seems like something else..
My BIL is trying to do this to me sister right now and I’m so angry on her behalf. All he does is unload on her about his toxic job he wants to quit. It’s so annoying. She’s carrying the whole family right now because he needs a break to figure out life?
Anonymous
01/14/2026 21:10
Subject: SAHM’s who used to work - what salary did you leave behind?
$80K, marketing, 20 yrs ago in 2005. Biggest regret that I did not leave earlier. Oh well!
HHI is 350K currently. We are ok financially because we have had a number of lucky breaks.
Did not go back to work.
HHI is 350K currently. We are ok financially because we have had a number of lucky breaks.
Did not go back to work.
Anonymous
01/14/2026 20:53
Subject: SAHM’s who used to work - what salary did you leave behind?
115k in 2010. Stay at home for five years. Still only making 95k
Anonymous
01/14/2026 20:48
Subject: Re:SAHM’s who used to work - what salary did you leave behind?
I was making $155K 8 years ago. Spouse earned less at the time, but now earns more, though I would be earning more as well if I'd kept working. I could barely take any time off in an industry that was very subject to political whims. We had two kids I felt I was barely seeing. It wasn't worth it.
We were lucky in that only one of us had student loans. We prioritized paying those off early in marriage. Then, we fully funded both our retirement accounts for several years, even when we had kids and were paying for child care. My 401k is now over $650K. Add in Roth contributions since I left and my total retirement is over $720K. (Spouse's retirement accounts have more because of continued contributions, but they are a modest % of income now). We were renters when I became a SAHP.
It does feel precarious at times to have only one income. But our kids and family life felt precarious with two careers. I wish I'd chosen a career that had more flexible hours, or options for part time work. That wasn't something I ever thought about until baby #1 arrived. It was the shock of my life that I found myself wanting to be a SAHP.
We were lucky in that only one of us had student loans. We prioritized paying those off early in marriage. Then, we fully funded both our retirement accounts for several years, even when we had kids and were paying for child care. My 401k is now over $650K. Add in Roth contributions since I left and my total retirement is over $720K. (Spouse's retirement accounts have more because of continued contributions, but they are a modest % of income now). We were renters when I became a SAHP.
It does feel precarious at times to have only one income. But our kids and family life felt precarious with two careers. I wish I'd chosen a career that had more flexible hours, or options for part time work. That wasn't something I ever thought about until baby #1 arrived. It was the shock of my life that I found myself wanting to be a SAHP.
Anonymous
01/14/2026 20:39
Subject: SAHM’s who used to work - what salary did you leave behind?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:350k stressful job 5 years ago. Spouse makes 180k and recently I get worried about the economy but not worried enough to try to get a paying job. I love my freedom and time.
Maybe this is just me, but absent very specific circumstances (tons of money in the bank already, massive inheritance, child with very severe special needs requiring a parent at home etc), I just don't get this at all. Unless it's some kind of troll post.
You would understand if you’d ever had an incredibly stressful and/or toxic job situation. It interferes with all aspects of life including physical health. It’s not worth any amount of money if you have ti give up your health, physically or mentally
So it's OK to put it all on your spouse, who earns half your salary and is now supporting the whole family? I get quitting a toxic job, but not even trying to get another one just seems like something else..
I’m not the poster, I have a job. But it depends on the people. If it works for them, why not? 180k isn’t beans.
Anonymous
01/14/2026 20:11
Subject: Re:SAHM’s who used to work - what salary did you leave behind?
I was making around $90K 20 years ago, then went part-time to fully SAH. I went back a few years ago starting at $100K and am now at $120k. I work around the clock and feel underpaid and undervalued. I am contemplating quitting for good with DH’s encouragement.
Anonymous
01/14/2026 19:54
Subject: SAHM’s who used to work - what salary did you leave behind?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:350k stressful job 5 years ago. Spouse makes 180k and recently I get worried about the economy but not worried enough to try to get a paying job. I love my freedom and time.
Maybe this is just me, but absent very specific circumstances (tons of money in the bank already, massive inheritance, child with very severe special needs requiring a parent at home etc), I just don't get this at all. Unless it's some kind of troll post.
You would understand if you’d ever had an incredibly stressful and/or toxic job situation. It interferes with all aspects of life including physical health. It’s not worth any amount of money if you have ti give up your health, physically or mentally
So it's OK to put it all on your spouse, who earns half your salary and is now supporting the whole family? I get quitting a toxic job, but not even trying to get another one just seems like something else..
Anonymous
01/14/2026 19:51
Subject: SAHM’s who used to work - what salary did you leave behind?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:350k stressful job 5 years ago. Spouse makes 180k and recently I get worried about the economy but not worried enough to try to get a paying job. I love my freedom and time.
Maybe this is just me, but absent very specific circumstances (tons of money in the bank already, massive inheritance, child with very severe special needs requiring a parent at home etc), I just don't get this at all. Unless it's some kind of troll post.
You would understand if you’d ever had an incredibly stressful and/or toxic job situation. It interferes with all aspects of life including physical health. It’s not worth any amount of money if you have ti give up your health, physically or mentally
Anonymous
01/14/2026 19:49
Subject: SAHM’s who used to work - what salary did you leave behind?
Anonymous wrote:My theory - former big law SAHMs love DCUM, have time, and like answering questions about money (and many other DCUM favorite topics).Anonymous wrote:Seriously, the proportion of posters who say biglaw is out of wack. Why is that?
Agree
Anonymous
01/14/2026 19:43
Subject: SAHM’s who used to work - what salary did you leave behind?
Anonymous wrote:350k stressful job 5 years ago. Spouse makes 180k and recently I get worried about the economy but not worried enough to try to get a paying job. I love my freedom and time.
Maybe this is just me, but absent very specific circumstances (tons of money in the bank already, massive inheritance, child with very severe special needs requiring a parent at home etc), I just don't get this at all. Unless it's some kind of troll post.
Anonymous
01/14/2026 18:52
Subject: SAHM’s who used to work - what salary did you leave behind?
My theory - former big law SAHMs love DCUM, have time, and like answering questions about money (and many other DCUM favorite topics).Anonymous wrote:Seriously, the proportion of posters who say biglaw is out of wack. Why is that?