The parents of three I know do a very mediocre job - don't really interact with their kids and definitely not 1:1, always foisting them on other people with play dates (which you reference), throw chicken nuggets at them and call it dinner, and use a ton of screen time.

My teens are easy. They are sweet and hard working and well-behaved.

I don’t go around asking “why are parents of teens so overwhelmed? It’s not that hard!”

Why?

Because a) I know I got lucky that my teens aren’t into drugs and alcohol and are smart and hard working to get good grades. I’m lucky that they don’t have mental illness or major learning disabilities. And b) I know things can change. And c) because they were not easy as kids. I did not find parenting 1-2 kids easy. At the time I was a SAH parent with no outsourced help—no cleaners, no lawn service, no daycare to take them so I felt like a normal human 8 hours a day. My dh worked long hours to provide for us and those long days of cooking, cleaning, caring for the kids were sometimes a slog.

I don’t wish on hard times for anyone, but OP, you should either learn how to have perspective and be humble or pray you don’t get thrown a poop sandwich, because karma can be bad

Anonymous wrote:You’re mean. Be glad you didn’t struggle/don’t struggle. Guess you’re better than the rest of us. But you’re still mean. You have no idea what goes on behind closed doors. Some day you’ll find out and you’ll think back to this post and you’ll be humbled.

+1 do you not know anyone with a child with special needs? Family with health issues? Two big jobs?

It’s all what you know. I remember being so overwhelmed with my first and not knowing how I could possibly handle two kids. Then I had two and one seemed easy in retrospect. I am sure if I had three/four/five it would have been the same. We stopped at two for financial reasons though, not because of being overwhelmed, though we were!

Anonymous wrote:I have one and i fight for my life everyday 😩😂

You're doing great, hang in there
I have one because that's what I could handle given everything else in my life. It's not "easy" but we're happy. Kids aren't poker chips, you don't win by having more of them.

It's odd that you mention doing solo trips and outings with your own children as if that is an accomplishment.

Op you should say this out loud so your friends know you are judging them. I would be so embarrassed and pissed to know a friend thought this about me. Especially a friend I thought I was commiserating with.

I know someone who would write this post. She has incredibly low self awareness and fancies herself super mom. Keeps her kids occupied by running to a thousand activities and putting them in front of iPads. Her kids are some of the biggest brats I've ever met and everyone knows it.

This has the same theme and overtone as the person who posted (yesterday?) about not understanding why kids are so expensive when s/he has a $1600 mortgage payment, parents nearby who babysit, $0 copay health insurance, and a SAH spouse.

I have one and i fight for my life everyday 😩😂

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you a SAHM?

Op here - no I work full time. And yes I realize for the most part my kids are easy but kids, especially newborns through toddler years are all sort of the same. They demand a lot and are physically taxing.

Again I would never say this out loud (hence the anonymous board post) but I still think. I have done solo trips and outings with my kids since they were babies.

You work full time, yet, you parent 75% on your own while dh is in office? So, you work nights and parent days while dh is away? In any case, people have different priorities, standards, skills and circumstances. Some are overwhelmed with 1 (and whatever else is on their plate that you may not be aware of), others aren’t.

Are your kids too young to do activities? Unusually healthy? Or is your job very low key? When we had 2 (I now have 3), the biggest source of my stress was having a very demanding job, a traveling husband, and kids that got sick frequently. Nothing like having to log back on at night and work until midnight while having to pick your barfing kid go from daycare.

OP, if you work full time where are your kids those 40-50 hours every week? Is parenting easier because you see them a couple of hours a day?

People are dealing with all different stressors. You don’t know what’s going on in someone’s life, Op. They could have an invisible disease or chronic ailment, elderly sick parents, a terminally ill diagnosis, work problems, marital issues, infertility treatments, special needs children, mental health issues, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you a SAHM?

Op here - no I work full time. And yes I realize for the most part my kids are easy but kids, especially newborns through toddler years are all sort of the same. They demand a lot and are physically taxing.

Again I would never say this out loud (hence the anonymous board post) but I still think. I have done solo trips and outings with my kids since they were babies.

If you work full time, how are you doing "75% of things" with the kids when "DH is in the office."

Are you a troll, OP? I smell a troll...

Op - I am not a troll. When I am working kids are either in daycare or school. When they arent in school I take care of them.

lol I’m Catholic and I’m from a big family and I know big families.

Mom is not doing anything. The older kids take care of the younger kids. The other kids raised themselves like feral animals.

It’s easy cause you’re not doing it.

This.

If you take it easy, it doesn't matter whether you have one child or five.

Yes. I know a mom of four and she is either high all the time or her default mode is "out of it." She does not seem stressed at all but she's very whatever about her kids. I think the number of kids she has is irrelevant and that a lot of stuff that most moms think about doesn't even cross her mind.

I think she puts less effort into four kids than most MEN I know put into one or two, much less the women I know. It's just a personality and parenting approach thing.

I was one of four and neglected, and not benignly, so I'm a more involved parent and chose to have fewer kids. I don't feel overwhelmed but I also don't think parenting is easy or no big deal.