Ironically it’s relatively easy to get low cost, decent domestic labor in emerging markets when living there.

Here, not low cost and often not so decent or functional.
Would rather hire out specialists and have my kids, spouse and sitter keep an eye on if anything needs addressing - broken appliance, low pool water, broken lights, laundry time, etc.

But once one has family office-like wealth and no time, its concierge everything plus a house manager.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most in home housekeepers and staff have their own place and come to the jobsite to work just like you and I.

Ok, but when did this change?

DP: Several changes to laws made it more expensive for the employer and less attractive to the employee:

1) slavery and indentured servitude ended;
2) federal law began to regulate wages and hours worked in 1938, but live-in domestic workers were exempted (thus choosing live-in arrangements was less attractive to workers);
3) Congress began protecting live-in domestic workers in 1974, and further in 2015. State laws also began to add protections and requirements related to live-in arrangements, including things like locakable doors in living quarters, access to a kitchen, etc. (making live-in arrangments less attractive to employers).

To this day, independent live-in domestic workers have far fewer legal protections than those employed by agencies or contracted through companies.

Here is some current statistical data: https://www.epi.org/publication/domestic-workers-chartbook-2022/#chart1

When the evolution of gossip and tabloids started to make wealthy and famous people value their privacy.

When being "in service" stopped being a hard ceiling profession for life and with education people could do better.

When aristocracy itself started to die out around the late 1800s early 1900s. See Edith Wharton novels like The Buccaneers. Instead of levying taxes, Aristocratic English families started to have to pay taxes. Scions and heirs no longer had the income to maintain their massive properties and had to infuse millions from American spouses.

It's easier and more convenient just to contract group housekeeping once a week or whatever, landscaping etc.

Anonymous wrote:I was surprised that when Rob Reiner died, he wasn’t discovered until hours later by his daughter. I would have assumed that he had an in home maid or cook who would have discovered him. . I had the same surprise when Ivana Trump died and she wasn’t discovered until a day or so later. It seems that at least up to the 1930s, extremely wealthy households had live in maids, cooks, butlers, and chauffeurs. At least that is how it was depicted in books and movies.

Having grown up middle class, I have no idea how the uber rich actually live or when the culture of having live in servants changed. I figure DCUM has a lot of people who aren’t far removed from the ultra wealthy and can offer some insight into the culture of what their lifestyle is actually like.

Different rich people spend money differently. Apparently, he paid for his son re-hab treatments since his age of 15, and he was in at least 17 long term recovery programs that can add up to millions.

Privacy and nannygate issues.
Labour cost and space is not the issue.

Anonymous wrote:Too many privacy issues with live-ins

This might be the correct answer.

Boarding school used to be more prevalent as well long ago. Only needed your kids around until age 12, then ship them off.

My great grandmother came here from Poland to work in a factory. Her daughter, my grandmother, was a live-in servant for a rich family and that was seen as a huge upgrade for her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My rich Asian mom always says it's a hard and sad life in America that we have to live without helpers as we did overseas; she's shocked that I have to cook, clean, and do my own laundry.

I was also annoyed by this but i married an american spouse they seem to think i am entitled.

However, I bet once you experience the lifestyle of the asian upper class, you don't want to live in the US.

So go live in Asia? I don’t know what to tell you. Asian, European and Latin American “wealth” just doesn’t get you much here. America is expensive and culturally we value privacy.

We say we value privacy, but we really don't.

We give up our privacy every day by posting on boards like this one, by using mobile phones that track us, by ordering online which changes the prices we are charged at whim, by talking about whatever we want next to phones that "listen," and on and on. Companies know a LOT about how you vote, your medical info (from so many data leaks), your financials (from tax records Elon's people probably took), and more.

Probably around the time they stopped calling them servants.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My rich Asian mom always says it's a hard and sad life in America that we have to live without helpers as we did overseas; she's shocked that I have to cook, clean, and do my own laundry.

I was also annoyed by this but i married an american spouse they seem to think i am entitled.

However, I bet once you experience the lifestyle of the asian upper class, you don't want to live in the US.

So go live in Asia? I don’t know what to tell you. Asian, European and Latin American “wealth” just doesn’t get you much here. America is expensive and culturally we value privacy.

We also value self-sufficiency. Most Americans find the idea of someone who relies on someone else to cook, clean, and do their laundry as deadweight. Even among the upper classes. That behavior is considered childish, and an adult who couldn't work wouldn't do them would be seen as burdensome to their family or a spouse.

Even our wealthiest friends cook most of their meals, do their own dishes, and do their own laundry. People will hire cleaners in to clean multiple times a week, wash and change sheets, organize the pantry, do deep cleaning like the fridge and the stove, mop floors, etc. But day to day, if your spouse couldn't rinse a dish a stick it in the dishwasher, prepare a simple meal, or wash and fold a load of laundry, it would be such a liability.

Exactly. To do otherwise on a regular basis is generally pretty horrible parenting. It is a parent's responsibility to teach independence, even if they could afford to avoid it.

When I lived in La (Studio City and Toluca Lake specifically) it was very common for a "maid"/ household assistant to have two main employers and split the week 3 days and 3 days. Lots of people Rob's age probably still "split a girl" and have someone 20-25 hours a week that does laundry/meal prep/general household tasks. This is kind of the "new live in" model that I have experienced. We got lucky and someone we knew was down to one family and looking for another 22.5 hours and we had her and/or her daughter help run our household for about 7 years and that was a shorter relationship than the norm. A lot of generational relationships too, where someones mom worked for the family the generation before etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My rich Asian mom always says it's a hard and sad life in America that we have to live without helpers as we did overseas; she's shocked that I have to cook, clean, and do my own laundry.

I was also annoyed by this but i married an american spouse they seem to think i am entitled.

However, I bet once you experience the lifestyle of the asian upper class, you don't want to live in the US.

So go live in Asia? I don’t know what to tell you. Asian, European and Latin American “wealth” just doesn’t get you much here. America is expensive and culturally we value privacy.

We also value self-sufficiency. Most Americans find the idea of someone who relies on someone else to cook, clean, and do their laundry as deadweight. Even among the upper classes. That behavior is considered childish, and an adult who couldn't work wouldn't do them would be seen as burdensome to their family or a spouse.

Even our wealthiest friends cook most of their meals, do their own dishes, and do their own laundry. People will hire cleaners in to clean multiple times a week, wash and change sheets, organize the pantry, do deep cleaning like the fridge and the stove, mop floors, etc. But day to day, if your spouse couldn't rinse a dish a stick it in the dishwasher, prepare a simple meal, or wash and fold a load of laundry, it would be such a liability.

I was just thinking about this yesterday watching "The Bishops Wife". The bishop of some sort of Episcopal type church lives in a mansion with a cook, maid who doubles as a nanny, and a secretary and they are seen as very generous because they allow the staff the afternoon off to go Christmas shopping. I said "shopping for who? These poor women have no husbands, no kids..."
This is what leftover women had. When millions of men in their prime were gunned down in wars there were always women who were less attractive and had no one to marry. If they were rich they could leech off relatives but if they weren't they saw security in joining a rich household as a staff member.
So this went away for the same reason nuns went away. There is no surplus of women who will do anything for food and a warm place to live.

I think technological change is one part of it, but I also think social change has been a factor.

There are a lot more options for unmarried women now — they can live alone, they can not get married, there is no social expectation that they either have a family or devote their life to an institution, cause or other family (nun, teacher, housekeeper). They can have an independent life and don’t need to be under someone else’s roof.