Anonymous
12/15/2025 17:55
Subject: DS does not have friends at large state school
Anonymous wrote:DS is a junior at a large state school. He seems happy overall and is getting good grades and works part time. CS major. He lives off campus with three other roommates. They get along well, but mostly just go about their own business. One of his roommates is a grad student. He doesn’t want to change the living arrangement because “everyone is nice and there is no drama.”
He doesn’t really have any friends at school. He spends most of his free time in his room playing video games with his pre-college friends and facetiming his long-distance girlfriend. He doesn’t drink and isn’t into parties. He’s not looking to hook up since he’s in a long-term relationship. He’s also not into sports or going to games. At the same time, he’s not particularly nerdy either, so he doesn’t seem to mix well with that type of crowd.
He does not seem depressed, and he appears content. Still, the thought of him going through college without having a single friend bothers me somehow, even if he seems okay with it.
Did anyone else’s kid have a similar experience? How did they manage?
Try not to worry about friends. I am an introvert and I’’m fine with the few friends I have. I’m married, successful, and very happy. Yours will be, too.
Anonymous
12/15/2025 16:58
Subject: DS does not have friends at large state school
Anonymous wrote:What might be missing here is gratitude for his enormous good fortune in life. I say this with sincerity not snark.
What if he found the campus service club (there are probably several) and joined. Get out of the house. Meet community minded kids who will have a broad array of interests. And feel good about putting a small piece of that gaming time toward the greater good. Volunteering among peers is always enjoyable. Think Madison House at UVa. It is also less likely to be a gate keeping club, which is refreshing.
Maybe find out what his campus offers and send him a link? I imagine that a thoughtful, low drama guy would be very welcome.
I like this.
Also, just want to say that I am glad your DS has friends at all. Seriously.
Anonymous
12/15/2025 15:26
Subject: DS does not have friends at large state school
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It’s state school. go in, get the degree, and go live life.
I mean if that’s all you want why not just go community college for 2 years, transfer for the last two and attend while commuting from your HS bedroom?? That’s what DCUM means right? When you say it doesn’t matter where you go to college?
You still learn independence and responsibility by living on your own, cooking meals and taking care of yourself away from your parents