Anonymous
12/16/2025 09:21
Subject: Staying on SSRI to tolerate my husband
Anonymous wrote:How old are you, OP? I ask because these kind of feelings are pretty common in perimenopause. We stop producing enough of the hormone that helps us tolerate our husband’s b.s. HRT might be an alternative to the SSRI!
https://www.mindsethealth.com/matter/menopause-and-anger-toward-husbands
Anonymous
12/16/2025 09:19
Subject: Staying on SSRI to tolerate my husband
How old are you, OP? I ask because these kind of feelings are pretty common in perimenopause. We stop producing enough of the hormone that helps us tolerate our husband’s b.s. HRT might be an alternative to the SSRI!
Anonymous
12/16/2025 09:06
Subject: Staying on SSRI to tolerate my husband
SSRIs make me extremely numbed out. I wouldn’t want my kids growing up with that for a mother.
I left my xH because he was similar, a leech who did nothing. Zero regrets. I’m happier, my kids get a happy mom rather than an angry mom or zombie mom. It’s a rough adjustment at first, but they do adjust. My youngest has gone from an absolute terror when xH and I were together, to extremely pleasant and fun to be around. I think she had just learned screaming was the only way to get dad’s attention, even though it was negative attention.
I left my xH because he was similar, a leech who did nothing. Zero regrets. I’m happier, my kids get a happy mom rather than an angry mom or zombie mom. It’s a rough adjustment at first, but they do adjust. My youngest has gone from an absolute terror when xH and I were together, to extremely pleasant and fun to be around. I think she had just learned screaming was the only way to get dad’s attention, even though it was negative attention.
Anonymous
12/16/2025 09:01
Subject: Staying on SSRI to tolerate my husband
Anonymous wrote:So anyone who gets mad at him for checking out gets put on SSRIs?
Pretty much.
Anonymous
12/16/2025 09:00
Subject: Staying on SSRI to tolerate my husband
So many anti women troll posts on this.
He husbands a selfish A hole.
That would make anyone angry. Doing the role of two people for the kids and house plus their own career, friends and family.
sSRI are a non issue. Take it or don’t.
But definite keep a journal of the spouses bad behavior patterns, disrespect, lack of stepping up, and “reaction” when asked to do something or reminded or inquired why something he agreed to do, he did not. Watch for verbal abuse.
Take journal and thoughts to an individual therapist, talk recurring themes and examples how nothing gets better and decide what to do.
Your options will be divorce, married w parallel lives, gray divorce. Your kids will need therapy too eventually as they have no good male or father role model.
He husbands a selfish A hole.
That would make anyone angry. Doing the role of two people for the kids and house plus their own career, friends and family.
sSRI are a non issue. Take it or don’t.
But definite keep a journal of the spouses bad behavior patterns, disrespect, lack of stepping up, and “reaction” when asked to do something or reminded or inquired why something he agreed to do, he did not. Watch for verbal abuse.
Take journal and thoughts to an individual therapist, talk recurring themes and examples how nothing gets better and decide what to do.
Your options will be divorce, married w parallel lives, gray divorce. Your kids will need therapy too eventually as they have no good male or father role model.
Anonymous
12/16/2025 07:29
Subject: Staying on SSRI to tolerate my husband
Anonymous wrote:I posted up thread but following these responses. Op, if you genuinely love your husband and want to stay married and continue raising your children together, you need to do what you need to do. That could mean doing some couples therapy and/or staying on medication. You do whatever needs doing to make it work (assuming no abuse is involved). You can also try things like meditation, journaling, exercise, etc to help but if medication is one of the things that helps make a difference between functioning marriage and not, it’s okay to stay on it even if you would not need to take it if you were married to someone else or single. It’s crucial to also drop the rope on blaming your DH for having to take the medication. In other words, if you opt to continue taking it, own that you are taking it because it’s a tool you need at this particular point in time.
Another women encouraging a woman to do all the work, take medication to not be upset about doing all the work, and not to focus on the reasons she has to take medication.
Anonymous
12/16/2025 07:27
Subject: Staying on SSRI to tolerate my husband
Anonymous wrote:I’d give anything for my DH to be a good and present father, and wouldn’t give a crap if he ever bought an article of clothing or a bday gift.
Be ware of women who accept so little that they think you should accept so little too.
Anonymous
12/16/2025 06:39
Subject: Staying on SSRI to tolerate my husband
Anonymous wrote:Why have a husband who does not help with those things? I am a single parent not by choice, but I think it’s ridiculous to stay with someone who can’t do the basics of parenting.
+1
If your partner is detracting from life, he isn’t a partner.
Anonymous
12/16/2025 06:27
Subject: Staying on SSRI to tolerate my husband
Why have a husband who does not help with those things? I am a single parent not by choice, but I think it’s ridiculous to stay with someone who can’t do the basics of parenting.
Anonymous
12/16/2025 06:23
Subject: Staying on SSRI to tolerate my husband
OP, what was your diagnosis?
I think it’s insane to medicate to numb yourself so you can deal with a selfish jerk. If that is truly what’s happening here, it is gravely concerning.
How is this any different than a mom drinking all day to deal with life?
I urge you to get therapy. I know it’s hard to prioritize but find a good therapist. We can give you suggestions if you name your location.
I think it’s insane to medicate to numb yourself so you can deal with a selfish jerk. If that is truly what’s happening here, it is gravely concerning.
How is this any different than a mom drinking all day to deal with life?
I urge you to get therapy. I know it’s hard to prioritize but find a good therapist. We can give you suggestions if you name your location.
Anonymous
12/16/2025 06:22
Subject: Staying on SSRI to tolerate my husband
I posted up thread but following these responses. Op, if you genuinely love your husband and want to stay married and continue raising your children together, you need to do what you need to do. That could mean doing some couples therapy and/or staying on medication. You do whatever needs doing to make it work (assuming no abuse is involved). You can also try things like meditation, journaling, exercise, etc to help but if medication is one of the things that helps make a difference between functioning marriage and not, it’s okay to stay on it even if you would not need to take it if you were married to someone else or single. It’s crucial to also drop the rope on blaming your DH for having to take the medication. In other words, if you opt to continue taking it, own that you are taking it because it’s a tool you need at this particular point in time.
Anonymous
12/16/2025 06:20
Subject: Staying on SSRI to tolerate my husband
You’re dramatic OP.
You need to check yourself. Not your husband
You need to check yourself. Not your husband
Anonymous
12/15/2025 23:54
Subject: Staying on SSRI to tolerate my husband
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My doc put me on 10mg of an SSRI last year because I was feeling overwhelmed. I have a job that I like but that requires nonstop active management, my husband has a demanding job, and we have two young boys.
Like a lot of other women, the mental load of the kids is mine, all mine. My husband is very present and a great dad, but that doesn’t mean he’s ever bought an article of clothing for them, or a present for their friend’s bday party, or any of the daily planning.
I was feeling better over the summer and tried to ween off of the SSRI but my marriage took a huge hit. When I didn’t have that boost, I was easily pissed off by even the slightest nonsense from my husband, and I made it known.
I felt bad for the kids and our family dynamic so I went back on it after a few months.
I feel ridiculous even writing this sentence: is it normal to have to stay on an antidepressant to keep a marriage?
I don’t want to divorce because when things are good, they’re really good, but I don’t have the strength unmedicated to put up with my husband.
He means well but he’s just so clueless. It’s not just the mental load. It’s the dumb things he’s capable of saying, a complete unawareness. I sound bitter but I’m mostly sad that I’m so frustrated by someone I also very much love.
Op, hear me now and hear me clearly: Your mental illness is not your husband’s fault. Stop blaming him, stop deflecting, and take more personal accountability.
This + 1000. He is not responsible for your mental health so you need to take care of that and communicate with him for support and also go for therapy.
It doesn’t sound like she has a mental illness. It sounds like she takes drugs to deal with living with her husband.
There’s a difference.
If she feels fine when her husband is traveling and she doesn’t have to mother a grown man, that’s not mental illness.