Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the most part YES. I think women are better off deprioritizing dating after this time frame and building a wonderful life on their own. If some awesome dude comes along fine. If not, so what your life is still awesome. I run across too many women complaining about the crap quality of men at this stage and not living their full lives.

They're complaining because they don't want to face the reality that they're not so great themselves. Hence, they're single in their 30s/40s.

NP. That's one possibility. The other possibility is that sons raised by people like you really do suck.

Take note girls- this attitude is how you become your cat hoarding aunt.

Anonymous wrote:It seems like once you enter mid to late thirties it’s slim pickings. All the responsible good quality men are already married, snagged by smart women in their twenties!

NP. I am a man. I will assume a “good quality man” means something like “an employed, upwardly-mobile man that is ready to get married and have kids.” I hit that phase a bit before age 30 for very practical reasons. What were those reasons? Well, looking into the future, I wanted to make sure that I could launch my kids while I was still working for financial reasons (and I didn’t want to work past 65, and ideally not past 60). Assuming it would take about 20-25 years to launch a child, that meant I needed to be DONE having kids by 40. It also meant that if I wanted to be married for some time pre-kids (say a couple years) and have time to have two (or more) kids prior to 40 that it would be super prudent to find a partner / spouse / wife at or shortly after 30. And at that point, I was still early in my career, so my spouse needed to be willing to risk that my “upward-mobility” ceiling might be no higher than where it was already at. The women that were willing to take that risk and that wanted to get married and have kids in the next 10 years were in the 22-28 age range, and while I would have dated women around 30, I wasn’t looking for or interested in 32+.

I offer this as a man’s perspective (mostly to share that men have a mixed financial/biological clock too, or at last that this man did).

I'm in my late 30s. I married young myself but I know plenty of people who met in their 30s or 40s.

My brother was 34 when he met his wife, my sister was 40 when she met her partner.

My best friend basically turned 30, told me "It's time to find him" got on dating sites and a year later she introduced me to the guy who's now her awesome husband and dad to my goddaughter.

I was just at a wedding yesterday for two people who met in their 30s doing hiking clubs.

And I do have the friends who married in their 20s and it didn't work out but them remarried in their 30s.

Anonymous wrote:I know a lot of people that got married to have kids and their partner wasn’t so much the priority but having children was and they wonder why the marriage doesn’t work out.

There is a lot of pressure on women (and men ) to have children.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not all, but most. There are some that will get out of starter marriages but if they had kids in in those marriages then you're signing up for the blended family show (before you come for me I grew up in one).

I finished med school at 30 and did not want to get married before then. I can confidently say that once I was in the working world and a busy attending, I was astonished at how fast the quality of men dropped. I remember going out on an online date at 32 (ugh, I was so young) and having the guy tell me, on the date, that he had five children with his STBXW and also that he had been "robbed online" before our date and could I pay for dinner.

I'm sure there are hopeful stories out there but I talk with my DD about the timing of education/career goals/marriage, and if she wants to accomplish certain things about the importance of how she dates in her 20's. I don't want her married young. But the cute bartender with 8 tats and no goals isn't going to be the guy (unless he's tending bar at night and going to grad school during the day). It's harsh, and I know it sounds anti-feminist. But women have about ten years starting at age 20 to make decisions that will set the course of their lives re: finances, marriage, career, and children. Some strategy is required, unromantic as it may sound.

I think the move is to marry mid to late twenties and stay childless until 30. That way, you've locked the man in but you have a couple of years for him to mature before you have kids with him. But you have to stick to the plan of not having kids for a few years if you marry a younger guy.

Ew- you are a nightmare and show how romantic marriage is…..um. Lock him in and wait for him to mature, ok. Sounds like you bought a dog

DP. Marriage is largely practical more than romantic if you want it to last. Of course you need to also like and respect the person. but it’s good to have a realistic outlook.

Yes.

I know a lot of people that got married to have kids and their partner wasn’t so much the priority but having children was and they wonder why the marriage doesn’t work out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not all, but most. There are some that will get out of starter marriages but if they had kids in in those marriages then you're signing up for the blended family show (before you come for me I grew up in one).

I finished med school at 30 and did not want to get married before then. I can confidently say that once I was in the working world and a busy attending, I was astonished at how fast the quality of men dropped. I remember going out on an online date at 32 (ugh, I was so young) and having the guy tell me, on the date, that he had five children with his STBXW and also that he had been "robbed online" before our date and could I pay for dinner.

I'm sure there are hopeful stories out there but I talk with my DD about the timing of education/career goals/marriage, and if she wants to accomplish certain things about the importance of how she dates in her 20's. I don't want her married young. But the cute bartender with 8 tats and no goals isn't going to be the guy (unless he's tending bar at night and going to grad school during the day). It's harsh, and I know it sounds anti-feminist. But women have about ten years starting at age 20 to make decisions that will set the course of their lives re: finances, marriage, career, and children. Some strategy is required, unromantic as it may sound.

I think the move is to marry mid to late twenties and stay childless until 30. That way, you've locked the man in but you have a couple of years for him to mature before you have kids with him. But you have to stick to the plan of not having kids for a few years if you marry a younger guy.

Ew- you are a nightmare and show how romantic marriage is…..um. Lock him in and wait for him to mature, ok. Sounds like you bought a dog

Anonymous wrote:I think 35 is a big turning point. Guys who remain single longer than that tend to be odd. You’re better off finding someone who’s been divorced once they’re past that point.

Odd? Or maybe just maybe, some people don’t want to get married. It’s unbelievable that people hold marriage on a pedestal. Everybody I know that’s been married or is married says they would never do this marriage thing again but everybody rushes out to do it. Studies have shown that married women are leading the unhappinest human categories.

Anonymous wrote:Most men are not interested in dating women over the age of 30

It is sad, but unfortunately 100% correct.

Anonymous wrote:Not all, but most. There are some that will get out of starter marriages but if they had kids in in those marriages then you're signing up for the blended family show (before you come for me I grew up in one).

I finished med school at 30 and did not want to get married before then. I can confidently say that once I was in the working world and a busy attending, I was astonished at how fast the quality of men dropped. I remember going out on an online date at 32 (ugh, I was so young) and having the guy tell me, on the date, that he had five children with his STBXW and also that he had been "robbed online" before our date and could I pay for dinner.

I'm sure there are hopeful stories out there but I talk with my DD about the timing of education/career goals/marriage, and if she wants to accomplish certain things about the importance of how she dates in her 20's. I don't want her married young. But the cute bartender with 8 tats and no goals isn't going to be the guy (unless he's tending bar at night and going to grad school during the day). It's harsh, and I know it sounds anti-feminist. But women have about ten years starting at age 20 to make decisions that will set the course of their lives re: finances, marriage, career, and children. Some strategy is required, unromantic as it may sound.

45(M) got married at the age of 35 to a 25(F) after one year of dating. I made over 2M at the age of 35 in FinTech, and the last thing I wanted to do in my life was to be married to a doctor, lawyer, or someone who has a full-time pressure-cooking job. There can be only one starting quarterback on the team. The vast majority of successful women, those that make over 1M, don't want to be married to a mechanic, plumber, etc.. They call this hypergamy. The vast majority of men out there are just invisible to them. That's just the way it is. As for me, I am married to a woman who received her accounting degree from GMU, and after we got married, she quit her job to pursue her passion for violin, piano, and had a lot of time to improve herself. She also devoted a lot of time to raising our two kids. The past ten years have been the best time of my life, and hers too. My advice to young women out there, between the ages of 22 and 25, is to look for guys who are between eight and ten years older than you. Those guys are already established financially, and they are ready to marry if you're reasonably attractive and kind. They couldn't be careless about your career. YMMV.

Anonymous wrote:Most men are not interested in dating women over the age of 30

What a weird lie to try to convince women of. Every time I come to this site, I'm reminded my problems are small in comparison to the brain rot plaguing people like you.

Most men are not interested in dating women over the age of 30

Anonymous wrote:Yes, most men are taken by 30. They may not all be married with kids by then but already in a relationship with someone they met in grad school or in their twenties. By 35, most are married with kids, at least the ones who are family oriented.

The single never married ones will have their pick if they are attractive, smart and make a good living.

There are more men waiting to get married these days and I have seen great guys who married in their mid or late thirties. But that doesn’t mean their wives weren’t feeling the stress of watching their friends and family getting married and wondering if there was anyone out there.

I would tell my daughter to focus on her career but to be open to meeting a great guy early on. If you find a guy who is kind, focused, etc., go for it early because those guys do get taken quickly.

Yes, most men are taken by 30. They may not all be married with kids by then but already in a relationship with someone they met in grad school or in their twenties. By 35, most are married with kids, at least the ones who are family oriented.

The single never married ones will have their pick if they are attractive, smart and make a good living.