I feel similarly...as I have aged I keep my wardrobe more simple and in some ways boringly capsule in part because because now being a 12/14 vs 20 pounds lighter in my 30's, I just really keep it simple. I want to look pulled together but to do that I find classic is better. I am now more into maintaining my skin, better, natural makeup, cute shoes and jewelry. My attention has also shifted more to good design of my home and health as well. Using clothes creatively is just difficult and not gratifying any more * and not for lack of trying. Priorities can change as we age...you're not alone op. It's a cultural shift too...and high quality clothes are expensive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 43. I don’t feel this way at all based on midlife but I did feel that way at certain times and phases of life.

- does your partner care about or react to you dressing up? Not having a husband who ever took me out on dates or complimented me made me not try very hard.
- having little kids made me not care very much either. They’re older now and I have more time for myself. I was also a SAHM for years.
- being overweight also made not trying on clothes very fun. I lost weight and now I love showing it off.

I am divorced, have an enthusiastic partner, and feel more sexy and beautiful than ever. I think the difference is confidence.

This doesn’t sound like confidence TBH. It sounds like you’re pretty insecure and need external validation / like random people looking at you. Which is normal for your teens and 20s or if otherwise “single and looking” but if you’re settled and married and happy and still saying “I love showing it off” that’s not really healthy IMO.

It sounded like confidence to me. You are the one who sounds insecure, with the need to post this. DP

She was right in her take. You’re not.

- Another DP.

Anonymous wrote:I’m 43. I don’t feel this way at all based on midlife but I did feel that way at certain times and phases of life.

- does your partner care about or react to you dressing up? Not having a husband who ever took me out on dates or complimented me made me not try very hard.
- having little kids made me not care very much either. They’re older now and I have more time for myself. I was also a SAHM for years.
- being overweight also made not trying on clothes very fun. I lost weight and now I love showing it off.

I am divorced, have an enthusiastic partner, and feel more sexy and beautiful than ever. I think the difference is confidence.

Oh. Okay.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread title - A++++

As for the sentiment, I understand.

+1

And I’m a bit of a contradiction. I spend a lot on Botox, my skin, hair, nails, and even some plastic surgery, but cannot be bothered to wear more than leggings and sweatshirt unless I go into the office (which I don’t do often) and I rarely wear more than sunscreen and lip gloss. I used dress well and wear a full face of make up.

How depressing. And I'm sure your husband is thrilled.

Anonymous wrote:This thread title - A++++

As for the sentiment, I understand.

+1

And I’m a bit of a contradiction. I spend a lot on Botox, my skin, hair, nails, and even some plastic surgery, but cannot be bothered to wear more than leggings and sweatshirt unless I go into the office (which I don’t do often) and I rarely wear more than sunscreen and lip gloss. I used dress well and wear a full face of make up.

Anonymous wrote:I think this article by Kathy Horn was posted at the time, but relevant : https://www.thecut.com/article/cathy-horyn-how-i-lost-and-found-my-personal-style.html

DP. Thanks for posting, it was an interesting read especially her mention of the tailored suit that felt comfortable because it didn’t have the usual shoulder pads etc that make suits heavier. I think I will invest in a tailored suit. Even at $6000, this is okay if it ends up your being your uniform and you love it so much you wear it all the time.

I’m not into fashion but like to look good. My current uniform includes merino wool wide leg pants and a merino wool full zip hoodie over a T-shirt, that fits close to the body, in black. I am not skinny but do ballet and hike or run, and tbh, I think my best look is an adidas tracksuit.