Anonymous
Post 12/02/2025 08:47     Subject: Coming to Terms with Full Pay
There are many very good schools that give merit to full pay students who have strong high school track records. If your kid gets into a top 10 school, go ahead and stretch to fund it.

But if the plan is pay $400K for a perceived “name” school from DCUM standards and it squeezes your family finances in tough ways, you don’t have to do it. It’s a choice. There are other very good options.
Anonymous
Post 12/02/2025 08:44     Subject: Coming to Terms with Full Pay
Anonymous wrote:It's kind of maddening when you are full pay at colleges and your kid's roommates get substantial aid and live much nicer lives than your DC kids do.

I have 2 in college and we are full pay all around with a DC income of $400K. My kids' middle America roommates are both (fr and soph) on 50%+ aid but have cars on campus, much fancier clothing, have all sorts of spending money for eating off campus. My kids have never owned a car, eat in the dining hall full time, etc.

There is something to be said for living in a LCOL area and making under $200K. You go to college for free or at half cost but still have the same lifestyle outside of school as those of us making almost twice the income in a HCOL town.


Yea you've been on here complaining before. But the truth is, you know nothing about your kids' roommates except what your kids tell you, and your kids sound petty and nasty.
Anonymous
Post 12/02/2025 08:40     Subject: Coming to Terms with Full Pay
It's kind of maddening when you are full pay at colleges and your kid's roommates get substantial aid and live much nicer lives than your DC kids do.

I have 2 in college and we are full pay all around with a DC income of $400K. My kids' middle America roommates are both (fr and soph) on 50%+ aid but have cars on campus, much fancier clothing, have all sorts of spending money for eating off campus. My kids have never owned a car, eat in the dining hall full time, etc.

There is something to be said for living in a LCOL area and making under $200K. You go to college for free or at half cost but still have the same lifestyle outside of school as those of us making almost twice the income in a HCOL town.
Anonymous
Post 12/02/2025 08:33     Subject: Re:Coming to Terms with Full Pay
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm so sick of the lack of sympathy people have on this board for people who seem to be doing the right things.

The mom who works to help save up for college is penalized, while the SAHM's family gets financial aid. And the response is, "well, quit your job then!"

Or, "Move out of DC!" (This is a DC site. Take your hate elsewhere) Or "Don't marry another Fed!"

These are all hard-working people realizing the game is rigged. It should be okay to hate the game, but you insist on hating the people trying to play fair.

I've never heard any of this on DCUM. People are just honest, in that, you are not some sacrificial lamb, because you have an upper middle class salary and can afford college, but chose to live above your means. I am sympathetic to recently upper middle class families, but often, there are people complaining on here who've made HHI of $300-500k for the past 8 years and expect the rest of us to cry about their difficulty with a budget.


Telling people on a DC site that they're stupid for living in DC is practically a pastime here.




I've never seen that on the college threads.


I'm saying it on the college threads. We raised our kids in VA suburbs because of the colleges.

I don't think it's "stupid" to live in DC with kids if you can afford it. I do think it's "stupid" to live in DC with kids if you can't.

It's definitely a choice.
Anonymous
Post 12/02/2025 07:41     Subject: Coming to Terms with Full Pay
Anonymous wrote:Can you get TAG with a $350K income?


Yes. Max income is ~$620k
Anonymous
Post 12/02/2025 07:37     Subject: Re:Coming to Terms with Full Pay
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm so sick of the lack of sympathy people have on this board for people who seem to be doing the right things.

The mom who works to help save up for college is penalized, while the SAHM's family gets financial aid. And the response is, "well, quit your job then!"

Or, "Move out of DC!" (This is a DC site. Take your hate elsewhere) Or "Don't marry another Fed!"

These are all hard-working people realizing the game is rigged. It should be okay to hate the game, but you insist on hating the people trying to play fair.





Can you stop blaming SAHMs for your big tuition bills?


I’m not the PP, but it’s been the case for a generation that dual income households struggle to manage two jobs and kids and get penalized come time to pay for college relative to single income households, particularly now when many elite colleges have announced zero tuition for households with income under 200k.


So save for college or quit your job. But for the love of God, stop acting surprised about something which you claim has been the case for a generation.


This .
A fair formula would be progressive decrease in subsidy..
So poorest households get full ride than 80, 60,40,20 % subsidy…
How difficult is it (for god sake)
Anonymous
Post 12/02/2025 07:23     Subject: Re:Coming to Terms with Full Pay
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm so sick of the lack of sympathy people have on this board for people who seem to be doing the right things.

The mom who works to help save up for college is penalized, while the SAHM's family gets financial aid. And the response is, "well, quit your job then!"

Or, "Move out of DC!" (This is a DC site. Take your hate elsewhere) Or "Don't marry another Fed!"

These are all hard-working people realizing the game is rigged. It should be okay to hate the game, but you insist on hating the people trying to play fair.





Can you stop blaming SAHMs for your big tuition bills?


I’m not the PP, but it’s been the case for a generation that dual income households struggle to manage two jobs and kids and get penalized come time to pay for college relative to single income households, particularly now when many elite colleges have announced zero tuition for households with income under 200k.


So save for college or quit your job. But for the love of God, stop acting surprised about something which you claim has been the case for a generation.
Anonymous
Post 12/02/2025 07:21     Subject: Re:Coming to Terms with Full Pay
Anonymous wrote:I'm so sick of the lack of sympathy people have on this board for people who seem to be doing the right things.

The mom who works to help save up for college is penalized, while the SAHM's family gets financial aid. And the response is, "well, quit your job then!"

Or, "Move out of DC!" (This is a DC site. Take your hate elsewhere) Or "Don't marry another Fed!"

These are all hard-working people realizing the game is rigged. It should be okay to hate the game, but you insist on hating the people trying to play fair.





Choosing an expensive private school and then being expected to pay for it is not “being penalized”. If that working mother thought her life and her family’s lives would have been better by her staying home (or her spouse staying home) she could have made the choice to do that.

Clearly, she thought it was advantageous to have two incomes and is not whining that she is expected to pay because she is able to pay. But she feels entitled to keep that money for a nicer retirement or a bigger house or a better vacation. Paying for her kid’s education is a “punishment” only in her own mind.
Anonymous
Post 12/02/2025 07:17     Subject: Coming to Terms with Full Pay
A SAHP isn’t a financial trick. It’s a decision for what works for their family. Being a SAHP offered us flexibility that we wouldn’t have otherwise had that made our single income life less stressful. We were still full pay everywhere.
Anonymous
Post 12/02/2025 07:02     Subject: Coming to Terms with Full Pay
Anonymous wrote:How much money do you have? You really shouldn’t spend $400k per kid on college unless you have a very substantial retirement fund already. I think your networth should be at least $3M, maybe $5M, to spend that much on college.


That’s too conservative!

Conditions:

Networth excluding primary home. > 3 x total expenditure on undergraduate studies

Income > 2x median at the place you live…

So 2 kids total about 800kx 3 = 2.4 mil ( excluding primary home) net worth

For 1 kid the number is > 1.6 mil
Anonymous
Post 12/02/2025 05:32     Subject: Re:Coming to Terms with Full Pay
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm so sick of the lack of sympathy people have on this board for people who seem to be doing the right things.

The mom who works to help save up for college is penalized, while the SAHM's family gets financial aid. And the response is, "well, quit your job then!"

Or, "Move out of DC!" (This is a DC site. Take your hate elsewhere) Or "Don't marry another Fed!"

These are all hard-working people realizing the game is rigged. It should be okay to hate the game, but you insist on hating the people trying to play fair.





Can you stop blaming SAHMs for your big tuition bills?


I’m not the PP, but it’s been the case for a generation that dual income households struggle to manage two jobs and kids and get penalized come time to pay for college relative to single income households, particularly now when many elite colleges have announced zero tuition for households with income under 200k.


And if it’s that big of a struggle, some people choose to stay at home.

The second income provides additional resources for years relative to what the single income but receiving aid family gets. It’s not some burden that you bear. It’s why you have two incomes. Both of these approaches are just choices. Neither is more “right” than the other.

The problem with the SAHM blaming is that it implies that people who work are doing some sort of morally-correct thing, and the SAHMs are gaming the system. But they’re not. These are just different approaches.
Anonymous
Post 12/02/2025 05:31     Subject: Coming to Terms with Full Pay
Can you get TAG with a $350K income?
Anonymous
Post 12/02/2025 03:56     Subject: Re:Coming to Terms with Full Pay
Yeah I don't get the desire to attend these $90k schools. As a DC parent, we are encouraging reasonable OOS publics. $10k TAG (possibly $15k soon) can go a long way.

Before Room/Board
Florida $28k, $18k after TAG

Florida State $18k, $8k after TAG (free if you opt for their year 1 study abroad program and get in state)

NC State $32k, $22k after TAG

Penn State $40k

I could go on. Not to mention DCPS kids can be nominated for full rides at GW and AU. There are solid options out there other than $90k privates.

Even the highest $ public Michigan would be $50k after TAG for tuition only.

Anonymous
Post 12/02/2025 03:35     Subject: Coming to Terms with Full Pay
Anonymous wrote:You could do lower tiered private that gives good merit aid.

My DC got $34K from Loyola Chicago which brought the price down to $40k. We could easily afford this - 1440 SAT, 3.7 unwgpa/4.5 wgpa.

But DC wants the big 10 that they got into which is $60K. No FA or merit aid. They will have to use some of their money from the grandparent's inheritance to pay for it, which they agreed to.


$60k after $10k DC TAG or before?
Anonymous
Post 12/02/2025 00:09     Subject: Re:Coming to Terms with Full Pay
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm so sick of the lack of sympathy people have on this board for people who seem to be doing the right things.

The mom who works to help save up for college is penalized, while the SAHM's family gets financial aid. And the response is, "well, quit your job then!"

Or, "Move out of DC!" (This is a DC site. Take your hate elsewhere) Or "Don't marry another Fed!"

These are all hard-working people realizing the game is rigged. It should be okay to hate the game, but you insist on hating the people trying to play fair.





Can you stop blaming SAHMs for your big tuition bills?


I’m not the PP, but it’s been the case for a generation that dual income households struggle to manage two jobs and kids and get penalized come time to pay for college relative to single income households, particularly now when many elite colleges have announced zero tuition for households with income under 200k.