Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grocery delivery (we use Giant Delivers, strong recommend)

Yard service

Laundry Service (we used Rinse) can be helpful (we use it postpartum for a few months each time) and they pickup and deliver. You do still have to gather all the laundry and then pull out stuff that can't go through regular wash, and you still have to do sheets and towels, and then you've gotta sort and put it away, so for me it wasn't really worth it long term.

Handyman on retainer! This is my dream. I actually saw it posted on DCUM once and if my ship ever comes in, this is what I'm doing. Someone who can come once a month for a day and take care of all the little crap that breaks or needs fixing. Change lightbulbs, do seasonal changes, touch up paint, hang pictures... I could easily fill 4-8 hours a month and it'd be such a luxury!

Also, as someone who had 2 under 2, you're just in the thick of it right now. The most important thing to do is to each be able to watch both kids, solo, while they're both awake. That's the only way to get breaks. It's so hard at first but it gets easier, and that's the path to sanity.

Also - sleep training/schedules/sleep hygiene. When both kids are asleep for 11+ hours a night, you've got WAY more bandwidth.

Good luck!

Handyman on retainer honestly isn't *that* crazy expensive. We use Hassle Free Homes - they come every quarter and complete our random task list and do preventative maintenance - change air filter, drain hose bibs, tighten toilet seats, blah blah. We save things like building Ikea furniture and hanging TVs for their visit as well. The cost for this plan is $235/month.

You can't change your own air filter or tighten a toliet seat?

At these ages our nanny did the bottle washing, kids laundry and kept things tidy. Without that I’d want a little more household help assuming you can afford it. Looking back we spent little time on that stuff which I appreciated

Anonymous wrote:We both work demanding and rewarding jobs, and we have a baby and a toddler.

We have a wonderful nanny 8-5 M-F and she is great about picking up after our kids - we don’t want to ask more of her.

We have a weekly cleaner who does cleaning but nothing else (she is also a bit unreliable).

Outside of work, we want our time to be spent with our kids, and on special work and family projects - not washing bottles / doing dishes / cleaning high chair / laundry / house work and yard work / etc. (And it would be amazing to have any time for ourselves too!).

Those of you who have multiple kids and demanding careers - what help has worked well for you? And how do you not make it feel like you constantly have employees in your home?

(Please don’t say we shouldn’t have two kids or someone has to stay home - we like our life, we just want more time. Thanks).

HAHAHA. There's no help that is enough help LOL
I went from a VP level position to contracting on my own as an individual contributor. As they say in the movies - one kid is one kid. Two kids is like 10 kids. I'm not sure how many 3+ kids are as I only have 2 (10) kids but seriously, one kid is totally wholly manageable as long as mom + dad work together. 2 kids is not as easy.

I ended up for a time having 2 nannies - one during the week + a back up nanny who could help during weekends. They could take the kids and have them sleepover at their place and while we went on vacation (this was when kids were really young like before age 5). Our kids are just over 2 1/2 yrs apart. They are now 14 and 16. I still am really busy driving these days. I cannot wait until my oldest can drive.

Note to self - the elementary ages are best - before and after you will be busy up to your eyeballs and unless you have family are really tight friends who can help, a highly stressful power job is almost impossible (unless you have like 1-2 assistants at your job who can help you do some child faceted stuff). You will be uber driving from MS onward (unless you have a kid who doesn't do anything) and you will be physically expending energy before they are 5 tracking them everywhere. The amount of energy spent that's physical is the same amount as mental when they are older (between the academic/college/extracurricular sports and all sorts of girl drama or boy mischief you will see I guarantee it - only the intensity will be different depending on your kids) is about the same amount just FYI.

It does not get "easier" but it does change. So you may not sleep when your kid is 18 months but you will not sleep well worrying about a variety of things when they are 14 and when they start driving, I'm told, you really won't sleep!! HAHAHAHA.

This is all to say - my advice is -
1. Roll with it. You just need to string enough help together to get through another day, another week, another year. 5 years. That's a magical age
2. LOVE and enjoy and savor the elementary year ages. All is easier because everyone is in the same place - your kids get older and wiser, there is manageable activities and it's basically a fun age for kids where they are not wanting to hide from you yet
3. Double your help - get 2 nannies or 1 nanny + 1 housecleaner or whatever works for you - double that strength! SERIOUSLY consider scaling back your career responsibilities or ensure some form of flexibility with your partner who can pitch in when needed.
4. Time is money. Say that over and over and over.. Consider that however much money you have can help you save time. Consider that you if you want your time, you must give up some earning power. This is something you will use as wisdom

Just know it's a marathon not a sprint - everything changes so fast. However, it doesn't end when they turn age 7 or 9 or 11 or 15. There's work involved depending on your kid whether mental, academic, psychological, daily drama, it's an actual human being you are responsible for so no. There's not secret power help we moms who have high powered jobs are aware of. You outsource whenever possible, you are hopefully married to a partner with a less high powered job to help and you hope you are lucky enough to have kids that are easy and you have to just accept sometimes it will suck more than other times!

That sounds amazing. Curious how much you pay for that kind of service and how did you find someone you trust like that?

Anonymous wrote:You need a nanny house manager - ours does everyone’s laundry, makes dinner for the family, gets groceries, runs random errands, etc. She may not be able to do this now, but as your kids get older and start preschool/elementary school this will be more possible. When we travel, she mostly gets time off, but i have had her also drop us off at the airport, and/or come once or twice while we’re gone to grocery shop and meal prep. Can’t tell you how nice it is to come home to a clean house (when we left it a mess due to packing w three kids) and dinner in the fridge after a long day of travel.

We outsource laundry. It's amazing.

Have you considered switching to an Au Pair?

Anonymous wrote:Grocery delivery (we use Giant Delivers, strong recommend)

Yard service

Laundry Service (we used Rinse) can be helpful (we use it postpartum for a few months each time) and they pickup and deliver. You do still have to gather all the laundry and then pull out stuff that can't go through regular wash, and you still have to do sheets and towels, and then you've gotta sort and put it away, so for me it wasn't really worth it long term.

Handyman on retainer! This is my dream. I actually saw it posted on DCUM once and if my ship ever comes in, this is what I'm doing. Someone who can come once a month for a day and take care of all the little crap that breaks or needs fixing. Change lightbulbs, do seasonal changes, touch up paint, hang pictures... I could easily fill 4-8 hours a month and it'd be such a luxury!

Also, as someone who had 2 under 2, you're just in the thick of it right now. The most important thing to do is to each be able to watch both kids, solo, while they're both awake. That's the only way to get breaks. It's so hard at first but it gets easier, and that's the path to sanity.

Also - sleep training/schedules/sleep hygiene. When both kids are asleep for 11+ hours a night, you've got WAY more bandwidth.

Good luck!

Handyman on retainer honestly isn't *that* crazy expensive. We use Hassle Free Homes - they come every quarter and complete our random task list and do preventative maintenance - change air filter, drain hose bibs, tighten toilet seats, blah blah. We save things like building Ikea furniture and hanging TVs for their visit as well. The cost for this plan is $235/month.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hope this help, OP. I have not needed a childcare person because I have been a SAHM since my kids were born. But, over the years, I have employed many kinds of help at home. A few of these people started their gig work after starting at my home.

- Cleaner - Twice a week.
- General hourly help lady - All purpose - 3 hour minimum.
- Part time chef - once in 2 weeks, 6 hours minimum. Semi-prepped our meals for 2 weeks as well cooked for parties.
- Home caterer for a few dishes - as needed. Price per tray of food. Or when having house guests
- Party lady - comes to warm, serve, cleanup, cook during parties - 6 hr minimum
- Landscaper - lawn-mowing, mulching, leaf removal and other gardening jobs.
- Coaches and tutors - at home.

I have also employed sporadically the following at home services (word of mouth - gig work).
- Hair cuts, shave and pedicure - stylist comes home to cut everyone's hair once a month, takes care of my ILs pedicure and trimming their toe nails
- Masseuse - Daily for a few weeks after childbirth
- Laundry service - either at laundromat or have a laundry person pick it up and launder it at their own home.
- Home car detailing service
- Clothes alteration work

Not OP but I am jealous! Part time chef sounds amazing.

Yes. It really works extremely well. You do have to do some prep, work with a menu with the chef and be organized. Because, there is the aspect of getting all the grocery shopping done, checking the ingredients, making sure that there is space in the fridge and freezer etc.