Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have been in OP's shoes. Never felt need to sue. Felt upset of course. Have two kids one with more needs than the other. The one with just ADHD is doing well at a K-8. They are very supportive as they see the child's potential. A lot of schools don't realize that many of these ADHD kids will mature into great, interesting, highly successful adults (likely got ADHD from their highly successful parents who also have adhd). Many of these private schools say that they see the potential in each child and want to nurture it, but they really don't. It does take a lot more energy to tame the wild horse that will become a stallion. We work with the school and are supportive of them but suing them is ridiculous and yes will burn bridges when you apply out!

For a lot of theses schools, it's that they don't have sufficient faculty with expertise working with neurodivergent kids. It's not that they don't want to, it's that they don't have the resources to meet the needs of every child, and that's OK.

It is ok not to meet the needs of every student -- that's the essence of private school -- but many could do more without increased resources. For example, one accomodation that my child was denied in middle school was to have instructions/writing prompts in a bulleted list instead of a long paragraph. That wouldn't have taken any additional effort.

According to whom? You, the parent? Or according to the teacher? In MS at a top private students need to be able to read long paragraphs and decipher instructions. This is a basic reading comprehension learning outcome that is entirely appropriate for MS students.

My kid is autistic and this was one recommendation that came out of her neuropsych. Perhaps you can argue that a school shouldn't need to accommodate someone whose disability requires bullet points for greater comprehension (actually, it was to help her track whether she had completed all parts of the assignment). But you can't argue that doing so requires excessive resources.

I get it, part of why families seek out private schools is because they don't want to have to think about students with different needs. That's why we left the school instead of suing. But it's a values choice, not a resource choice.

If the MS child must have a teacher track whether or not all parts of an assignment have been completed, and this is done regularly, yes, this can become excessive. If the teacher must spend an hour every week just on one child to track completion for multiple assignments, this comes out to a lot of hours, easiluy 20+ hours over the course of a year. And this has to be done for multiple classes? Can you imagine if your child was not the only one with accommodations, but one of, say, five children who need special instructions written out?
You are not understanding how this adds up from a teacher's perspective, you are choosing to see this only from the perspective of your family. That is why you don't see how your requests do not add up to "excessive" resources. It does. It adds up to excessive time.

Anonymous wrote:OP the problem is there are no lawyers that do this

A lawyer that specializes in contract law maybe but I highly doubt they would take the case

Contracts you signed when entering the school clauses pretty much make it so suing is just an option

I am sorry

I would remove your kid asap do public

If your child was injured physically maybe

This issue with lawyers may be true. I'm a special ed lawyer who works mainly with families of kids in public schools. I get a lot of inquires from private school parents, but rights for kids with disabilities in private schools are very limited. It's often not worth parents' time/money to push for those limited rights in private -- for a lot of reasons. Also the issues in private schools often bleed over into contract disputes. That's not my area. Maybe other lawyers do that, but the ones who do also may not know the disability angle.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have been in OP's shoes. Never felt need to sue. Felt upset of course. Have two kids one with more needs than the other. The one with just ADHD is doing well at a K-8. They are very supportive as they see the child's potential. A lot of schools don't realize that many of these ADHD kids will mature into great, interesting, highly successful adults (likely got ADHD from their highly successful parents who also have adhd). Many of these private schools say that they see the potential in each child and want to nurture it, but they really don't. It does take a lot more energy to tame the wild horse that will become a stallion. We work with the school and are supportive of them but suing them is ridiculous and yes will burn bridges when you apply out!

For a lot of theses schools, it's that they don't have sufficient faculty with expertise working with neurodivergent kids. It's not that they don't want to, it's that they don't have the resources to meet the needs of every child, and that's OK.

It is ok not to meet the needs of every student -- that's the essence of private school -- but many could do more without increased resources. For example, one accomodation that my child was denied in middle school was to have instructions/writing prompts in a bulleted list instead of a long paragraph. That wouldn't have taken any additional effort.

yes, it would have. the teacher would have had to rewrite it. and your middle school kid needs to learn how to function and comprehend a paragraph of instructions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have been in OP's shoes. Never felt need to sue. Felt upset of course. Have two kids one with more needs than the other. The one with just ADHD is doing well at a K-8. They are very supportive as they see the child's potential. A lot of schools don't realize that many of these ADHD kids will mature into great, interesting, highly successful adults (likely got ADHD from their highly successful parents who also have adhd). Many of these private schools say that they see the potential in each child and want to nurture it, but they really don't. It does take a lot more energy to tame the wild horse that will become a stallion. We work with the school and are supportive of them but suing them is ridiculous and yes will burn bridges when you apply out!

For a lot of theses schools, it's that they don't have sufficient faculty with expertise working with neurodivergent kids. It's not that they don't want to, it's that they don't have the resources to meet the needs of every child, and that's OK.

It is ok not to meet the needs of every student -- that's the essence of private school -- but many could do more without increased resources. For example, one accomodation that my child was denied in middle school was to have instructions/writing prompts in a bulleted list instead of a long paragraph. That wouldn't have taken any additional effort.

According to whom? You, the parent? Or according to the teacher? In MS at a top private students need to be able to read long paragraphs and decipher instructions. This is a basic reading comprehension learning outcome that is entirely appropriate for MS students.

My kid is autistic and this was one recommendation that came out of her neuropsych. Perhaps you can argue that a school shouldn't need to accommodate someone whose disability requires bullet points for greater comprehension (actually, it was to help her track whether she had completed all parts of the assignment). But you can't argue that doing so requires excessive resources.

I get it, part of why families seek out private schools is because they don't want to have to think about students with different needs. That's why we left the school instead of suing. But it's a values choice, not a resource choice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have been in OP's shoes. Never felt need to sue. Felt upset of course. Have two kids one with more needs than the other. The one with just ADHD is doing well at a K-8. They are very supportive as they see the child's potential. A lot of schools don't realize that many of these ADHD kids will mature into great, interesting, highly successful adults (likely got ADHD from their highly successful parents who also have adhd). Many of these private schools say that they see the potential in each child and want to nurture it, but they really don't. It does take a lot more energy to tame the wild horse that will become a stallion. We work with the school and are supportive of them but suing them is ridiculous and yes will burn bridges when you apply out!

For a lot of theses schools, it's that they don't have sufficient faculty with expertise working with neurodivergent kids. It's not that they don't want to, it's that they don't have the resources to meet the needs of every child, and that's OK.

It is ok not to meet the needs of every student -- that's the essence of private school -- but many could do more without increased resources. For example, one accomodation that my child was denied in middle school was to have instructions/writing prompts in a bulleted list instead of a long paragraph. That wouldn't have taken any additional effort.

According to whom? You, the parent? Or according to the teacher? In MS at a top private students need to be able to read long paragraphs and decipher instructions. This is a basic reading comprehension learning outcome that is entirely appropriate for MS students.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have been in OP's shoes. Never felt need to sue. Felt upset of course. Have two kids one with more needs than the other. The one with just ADHD is doing well at a K-8. They are very supportive as they see the child's potential. A lot of schools don't realize that many of these ADHD kids will mature into great, interesting, highly successful adults (likely got ADHD from their highly successful parents who also have adhd). Many of these private schools say that they see the potential in each child and want to nurture it, but they really don't. It does take a lot more energy to tame the wild horse that will become a stallion. We work with the school and are supportive of them but suing them is ridiculous and yes will burn bridges when you apply out!

For a lot of theses schools, it's that they don't have sufficient faculty with expertise working with neurodivergent kids. It's not that they don't want to, it's that they don't have the resources to meet the needs of every child, and that's OK.

It is ok not to meet the needs of every student -- that's the essence of private school -- but many could do more without increased resources. For example, one accomodation that my child was denied in middle school was to have instructions/writing prompts in a bulleted list instead of a long paragraph. That wouldn't have taken any additional effort.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have been in OP's shoes. Never felt need to sue. Felt upset of course. Have two kids one with more needs than the other. The one with just ADHD is doing well at a K-8. They are very supportive as they see the child's potential. A lot of schools don't realize that many of these ADHD kids will mature into great, interesting, highly successful adults (likely got ADHD from their highly successful parents who also have adhd). Many of these private schools say that they see the potential in each child and want to nurture it, but they really don't. It does take a lot more energy to tame the wild horse that will become a stallion. We work with the school and are supportive of them but suing them is ridiculous and yes will burn bridges when you apply out!

For a lot of theses schools, it's that they don't have sufficient faculty with expertise working with neurodivergent kids. It's not that they don't want to, it's that they don't have the resources to meet the needs of every child, and that's OK.

This. As a mom of an ND kid, I never want to try to force a school to take or keep my kid if they don’t have the capability to support my kid. These are smaller schools. They don’t have to have people who know about the million permutations ND brains can take. I want my kid at a school that can meet their needs from the start.

Anonymous wrote:Have been in OP's shoes. Never felt need to sue. Felt upset of course. Have two kids one with more needs than the other. The one with just ADHD is doing well at a K-8. They are very supportive as they see the child's potential. A lot of schools don't realize that many of these ADHD kids will mature into great, interesting, highly successful adults (likely got ADHD from their highly successful parents who also have adhd). Many of these private schools say that they see the potential in each child and want to nurture it, but they really don't. It does take a lot more energy to tame the wild horse that will become a stallion. We work with the school and are supportive of them but suing them is ridiculous and yes will burn bridges when you apply out!

For a lot of theses schools, it's that they don't have sufficient faculty with expertise working with neurodivergent kids. It's not that they don't want to, it's that they don't have the resources to meet the needs of every child, and that's OK.

Have been in OP's shoes. Never felt need to sue. Felt upset of course. Have two kids one with more needs than the other. The one with just ADHD is doing well at a K-8. They are very supportive as they see the child's potential. A lot of schools don't realize that many of these ADHD kids will mature into great, interesting, highly successful adults (likely got ADHD from their highly successful parents who also have adhd). Many of these private schools say that they see the potential in each child and want to nurture it, but they really don't. It does take a lot more energy to tame the wild horse that will become a stallion. We work with the school and are supportive of them but suing them is ridiculous and yes will burn bridges when you apply out!

I wouldn't call the OP crazy, but she is very emotional because she believes her child was mistreated. I feel her pain because I have an ADHD child and have gone through similar situations. In each situation, our family immediately felt better as soon as we forgot about the past and focused on the future.
If the lawyer is ethical, he will advise OP to do just that and the engagement will be a short one. But if he is a shyster, he can run with this one for a long time - nobody runs the meter like an emotional client!

Folks, OP has said they’ve retained a lawyer. Let the lawyer deal with the crazy now.

Anonymous wrote:Thank you- I know that’s where we are headed but I would still like to take legal action.

So you are saying you would like to abuse the legal system just to show how mad you are that the school is a bad fit for your child?

Anonymous wrote:Thanks- OP here. I appreciate the thoughtful replies. We have moved incredibly quickly to do many of the things listed here (therapy for child and family, looking at other options). However, the school has taken actions that have harmed my child, communicated multiple things around the same situation (thereby impacting actions we have taken), and the teaching quality has been incredibly poor. Even outside of this we were planning on making a change because we don’t like the school, we just needed one more year to do so. I want a lawyer to help so the school makes changes in how they handle future situations and not harm others as they have harmed my child and family.

And what do you think this lawyer is going to accomplish?

Anonymous wrote:This is really painful and hard- can I ask that those who can offer a lawyer recommendation do so? I understand that the school doesn’t have to do anything- however they have made promises they have failed to keep and have made decisions that have harmed my child. I really don’t want to get into a debate- just asking for a recommendation. Appreciate it!

OP, why exactly do you want a lawyer? What are your grounds for suing? or what do you want the lawyer to negotiate? I'm a lawyer and I really don't see hiring a lawyer to be worth your time or money. Maybe if you articulate your answers to the above questions, people can be more helpful.

also, you might find more support on the special needs forum