Anonymous wrote:Op here with an update. There was a poster upstream who had very kind and thoughtful advice about young relationships being hard, both sides making mistakes etc, and I took a version of it and sent it to dc. He went and talked to girlfriend in person yesterday and guess what? They worked it out!

Dc said he talked to her about how it made him uncomfortable, but admitted that he thought he’d said something before, but maybe hadn’t been clear. Gf apparently said she hadn’t realized it might bother him- he hadn’t been clear- and she felt bad and would consider his feelings in the future. But she reminded him he needed to trust her, as she trusts him, and that these are friends. Dc agreed that was fair. So they both seemed to accommodate and compromise for the other, and all is good.

Dc was happy they talked it out. All in all, a good teen relationship experience imo

I am a new poster. I think your son's feelings are VERY valid and not immature. If any of these rude posters have a daughter and their boyfriend was posting social media pics hanging onto other girls, ones that he used to hook up with and diminished it with "we are just friends" the entire thread would be different.

I am glad they communicated, but he will have to sit back and watch if his feelings were listened to and decide if she is right for him moving forward. My daughter was in a very intense relationship where the boy would say these same things and things would seem worked out, but they weren't. It was just words. And he made her feel over and over again that she was the one with issues. Denying cheating and saying she was crazy. Telling others they weren't together and when someone said something to her and she confronted him, he would guilt her for even considering that what someone else said was true over him. This happened so much that she started believing him, not liking herself, lost a lot of friends, grades went down and just overall feeling like she was not a good person and just lucky to have him. So I really caution you to NOT think he is immature or controlling. 9 times out of 10, a person's gut is correct. Talking about it once was good. If it happens after or things continue to feel weird, he needs to leave. She testing waters and seeing what she can get away with. Don't let him go down that path. Encourage him to hold his boundaries and self with over pleasing others. Trust me

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here with an update. There was a poster upstream who had very kind and thoughtful advice about young relationships being hard, both sides making mistakes etc, and I took a version of it and sent it to dc. He went and talked to girlfriend in person yesterday and guess what? They worked it out!

Dc said he talked to her about how it made him uncomfortable, but admitted that he thought he’d said something before, but maybe hadn’t been clear. Gf apparently said she hadn’t realized it might bother him- he hadn’t been clear- and she felt bad and would consider his feelings in the future. But she reminded him he needed to trust her, as she trusts him, and that these are friends. Dc agreed that was fair. So they both seemed to accommodate and compromise for the other, and all is good.

Dc was happy they talked it out. All in all, a good teen relationship experience imo

Sounds very mature. Just so long as everyone understands she might think she is just friends with these other boys but odds are high one or both of them carries a torch for her.

You are very invested in this convo

Anonymous wrote:Op here with an update. There was a poster upstream who had very kind and thoughtful advice about young relationships being hard, both sides making mistakes etc, and I took a version of it and sent it to dc. He went and talked to girlfriend in person yesterday and guess what? They worked it out!

Dc said he talked to her about how it made him uncomfortable, but admitted that he thought he’d said something before, but maybe hadn’t been clear. Gf apparently said she hadn’t realized it might bother him- he hadn’t been clear- and she felt bad and would consider his feelings in the future. But she reminded him he needed to trust her, as she trusts him, and that these are friends. Dc agreed that was fair. So they both seemed to accommodate and compromise for the other, and all is good.

Dc was happy they talked it out. All in all, a good teen relationship experience imo

Sounds very mature. Just so long as everyone understands she might think she is just friends with these other boys but odds are high one or both of them carries a torch for her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here with an update. There was a poster upstream who had very kind and thoughtful advice about young relationships being hard, both sides making mistakes etc, and I took a version of it and sent it to dc. He went and talked to girlfriend in person yesterday and guess what? They worked it out!

Dc said he talked to her about how it made him uncomfortable, but admitted that he thought he’d said something before, but maybe hadn’t been clear. Gf apparently said she hadn’t realized it might bother him- he hadn’t been clear- and she felt bad and would consider his feelings in the future. But she reminded him he needed to trust her, as she trusts him, and that these are friends. Dc agreed that was fair. So they both seemed to accommodate and compromise for the other, and all is good.

Dc was happy they talked it out. All in all, a good teen relationship experience imo

Kudos to your son for having that conversation. He sounds much more mature than most DCUM posters.

I know! So many ugly responses on this thread. Wow!

And thank you

Anonymous wrote:Op here with an update. There was a poster upstream who had very kind and thoughtful advice about young relationships being hard, both sides making mistakes etc, and I took a version of it and sent it to dc. He went and talked to girlfriend in person yesterday and guess what? They worked it out!

Dc said he talked to her about how it made him uncomfortable, but admitted that he thought he’d said something before, but maybe hadn’t been clear. Gf apparently said she hadn’t realized it might bother him- he hadn’t been clear- and she felt bad and would consider his feelings in the future. But she reminded him he needed to trust her, as she trusts him, and that these are friends. Dc agreed that was fair. So they both seemed to accommodate and compromise for the other, and all is good.

Dc was happy they talked it out. All in all, a good teen relationship experience imo

Kudos to your son for having that conversation. He sounds much more mature than most DCUM posters.

Op here with an update. There was a poster upstream who had very kind and thoughtful advice about young relationships being hard, both sides making mistakes etc, and I took a version of it and sent it to dc. He went and talked to girlfriend in person yesterday and guess what? They worked it out!

Dc said he talked to her about how it made him uncomfortable, but admitted that he thought he’d said something before, but maybe hadn’t been clear. Gf apparently said she hadn’t realized it might bother him- he hadn’t been clear- and she felt bad and would consider his feelings in the future. But she reminded him he needed to trust her, as she trusts him, and that these are friends. Dc agreed that was fair. So they both seemed to accommodate and compromise for the other, and all is good.

Dc was happy they talked it out. All in all, a good teen relationship experience imo

I wonder what the women posting here calling the son “controlling” would do if their husbands or boyfriends posted these pics.

Anonymous wrote:I’d tell him it sounds like they have different views on whether or not this behavior is appropriate, and it may indicate that they are not the right fit. They are allowed to feel the way they feel. Her behavior is not wrong for her and his feelings are not wrong for him.

Is her behavior right for her though? Sometimes I wonder at women who think being a feminist means we can now behave any way we like with no repercussions. That isn’t how life works. I mean, we can but there are consequences, including people judging you for hanging on exes when you are dating someone else and sleeping around.

People who do this aren’t in healthy relationships. It’s bad for her long term mental health.

I’d tell him it sounds like they have different views on whether or not this behavior is appropriate, and it may indicate that they are not the right fit. They are allowed to feel the way they feel. Her behavior is not wrong for her and his feelings are not wrong for him.

Lot of abused women around this thread. I am sorry for your lived experiences but this 17 year old is not a pos.
Signed a woman.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He can break up with her for any reason he wants, including bad reasons due to him blowing things out of proportion. They are not a good match and they are kids. Frankly he should hold off on any more dating until he matures. Tell him to focus on college apps.

I love how you dubbed him the immature one here, yet you know nothing about the maturity of his gf.

It doesn’t matter

He is being controlling he has zero right to tell anyone much less his gf who to hang with or post pictures with!

He can break up with her but he doesn’t own her.

OP raised an entitled POS who thinks he gets to tell women what they can and can not do. Nope he does not get to do that and I hope the GF parents tell her to drop him asap

You sound like a misandrist and a skank

No OPs kid is a pos he wants to control who his GF can and can not see. No woman needs that crap in her life.

Her son has zero right to tell another human who they can hang with. He can break up with her that is his choice just like she can have friends that are male.

OP is the problem she raised boys to think they own their partner they do not.

Ma’am, you should talk to your doctor about upping your meds. This is a bonkers take and you are bizarrely worked up about this.

OP your son’s feelings are valid and he should never have to invalidate his feelings or self worth to make anyone else feel better. He sounds very mature to want to call things off because he obviously is looking for something different in a relationship, encourage him to set boundaries and never settle for toxic (whatever makes you feel uncomfortable) behaviors in a relationship.

Anonymous wrote:First, he’s not ready for a relationship. He needs to break up with her.
Second, this is a great starting point to have many conversations about healthy relationships, in the event he wants to try again in future.

It sounds much more like SHE isn’t ready for a relationship. Nothing about her behavior indicates healthy relationship material.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He can break up with her for any reason he wants, including bad reasons due to him blowing things out of proportion. They are not a good match and they are kids. Frankly he should hold off on any more dating until he matures. Tell him to focus on college apps.

I love how you dubbed him the immature one here, yet you know nothing about the maturity of his gf.

His GF isn't in the conversation.

He's emotionally destabilized by dealing with this relationship with this girl, which means he's not ready for it.

Point out that if he's not going to be happy with a thot like these PPs, he should break up with her if he can't handle being in a FWB situationship.