Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While I understand you come from a SA culture, and your brother still lives in the home country, the reality is that YOU live in the US, and your nephew and his girlfriend also live in the US. You can use whichever culture's norms work for you while you're in the US. I can't tell you what to do bc I don't know the specific dynamics between you and your brother. But I can tell you that people who don't live in my house, don't get to tell me how to run my home. I will do whatever I want.

Are you OP? Of course not!

Your thoughts and how you think immigrants like OP should conduct their personal life is not relevant for this exercise.

Anonymous wrote:I don't get the dilemma. I'm American born and my family does not accept unmarried people sharing a bed at a family event either

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you all for the helpful suggestions! I will definitely communicate with my nephew about his parents, though I don’t think their attitude will be a surprise. We have space so I like the suggestion of having 2 rooms and letting them decide. I have been working on standing up to my brother and being more assertive, but it’s been a lifetime of listening to him as the baby sister so old habits die hard.

What will you gain by having an acrimonious relationship with your brother at this point at something so inconsequential?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I could not just ignore my brother, then I would just tell him, “yes, we have two rooms that will be ready for them” and then move to another subject. But really, I cannot imagine staying on the phone (or bothering to answer) when someone like this called me. You can talk to him in a few weeks. Your brother presumably doesn’t even celebrate thanksgiving so you don’t need to call him that weekend.

You can blame the SA-ness of OP that she actually continues to have a familial relationship with her sibling and nephew for this. I am blaming how clueless (and lonely) she must be to put it on DCUM. Any SA friend IRL would have solved it in 5 seconds for her. But, I am not surprised that her family members give her instructions. She really sounds thick as a brick. She needs directions.

Whoa way to project much.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I could not just ignore my brother, then I would just tell him, “yes, we have two rooms that will be ready for them” and then move to another subject. But really, I cannot imagine staying on the phone (or bothering to answer) when someone like this called me. You can talk to him in a few weeks. Your brother presumably doesn’t even celebrate thanksgiving so you don’t need to call him that weekend.

You can blame the SA-ness of OP that she actually continues to have a familial relationship with her sibling and nephew for this. I am blaming how clueless (and lonely) she must be to put it on DCUM. Any SA friend IRL would have solved it in 5 seconds for her. But, I am not surprised that her family members give her instructions. She really sounds thick as a brick. She needs directions.

Anonymous wrote:
If you have two rooms available then you prepare two rooms for your guests. It is up to your nephew and gf to figure out what their sleeping arrangements that they will adhere to.

Do they want to have two seperate rooms or want one room? Up to them. You don't ask. You just show them the rooms that you have prepared.

If others ask - you provided two rooms. And then you don't talk about it anymore.

- South Asian aunty ji.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd grey rock my brother on that one. Mention the conversation to your nephew and let him decide whether he wants to rock that boat or not.

Yeah! This does not work for SA families.

Anonymous wrote:Your nephew is 28 years old! Your house, your rules. Your brother sounds ridiculous.