Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, almost everyone's hormones fall off a cliff at some point.

If yours don't, you need a sex doll, not an actual woman. Or, you need to date / marry a desperate poor young woman.

If your hormones fall off, you still have an obligation to meet your husband half way and fulfill your marital duties. It is your responsibility to figure it out instead of leaving your husband hanging. For one partner to unilaterally declare the marriage celibate is cruel.

Meeting your husband half way does not make you a sex doll; it makes you a loving and caring partner. Compromise is part of marriage, it is common sense.

Sex should not be a “duty.”

Once having you touch my body ceases being a pleasure, your “privileges” are withdrawn.

( I have never understood how someone could enjoy sex with a partner who does not desire them. Seems like a blow up doll would be preferable. At least they can’t feel resentment or repulsion.)

My hand knows what it's doing and, so far as I can tell, does not resent me for doing it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, almost everyone's hormones fall off a cliff at some point.

If yours don't, you need a sex doll, not an actual woman. Or, you need to date / marry a desperate poor young woman.

If your hormones fall off, you still have an obligation to meet your husband half way and fulfill your marital duties. It is your responsibility to figure it out instead of leaving your husband hanging. For one partner to unilaterally declare the marriage celibate is cruel.

Meeting your husband half way does not make you a sex doll; it makes you a loving and caring partner. Compromise is part of marriage, it is common sense.

Maybe it's just a phrasing thing, but the idea of my wife "fulfilling her marital duties" makes my skin crawl. I want to keep having sex, but I want her to be an enthusiastic participant. If she's not, it's - at *best* - an unnecessarily complicated form of masturbation. I know I've heard wives around here say that "wanting her to want it" is expecting too much; but that's exactly what I want.

I 100% agree. The men who want their wives to have sex with them out of "duty" when they don't want to sound so creepy. Why do you want to have sex with someone who isn't enthusiastically into it? These men see women as a series of holes to fulfil them, not as human beings. It's extremely rapey.

Exactly.

I applaud the man who seeks healthy (not servile) engagement.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, almost everyone's hormones fall off a cliff at some point.

If yours don't, you need a sex doll, not an actual woman. Or, you need to date / marry a desperate poor young woman.

If your hormones fall off, you still have an obligation to meet your husband half way and fulfill your marital duties. It is your responsibility to figure it out instead of leaving your husband hanging. For one partner to unilaterally declare the marriage celibate is cruel.

Meeting your husband half way does not make you a sex doll; it makes you a loving and caring partner. Compromise is part of marriage, it is common sense.

The funny thing is that when something happens to men that destroys their sex drive they turn it into a matter of personal enlightenment to conclude that sex was always overrated, not a moment of invoking a duty.

Case in point: https://hanifkureishi.substack.com/p/sex-not

Puts me in mind of St. Augustine. As I understand it, he was something of a hell raiser as a youth. As he got older, his desires cooled, and he was pontificating on how people should go about being good Christians, sex conveniently became immoral.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, almost everyone's hormones fall off a cliff at some point.

If yours don't, you need a sex doll, not an actual woman. Or, you need to date / marry a desperate poor young woman.

If your hormones fall off, you still have an obligation to meet your husband half way and fulfill your marital duties. It is your responsibility to figure it out instead of leaving your husband hanging. For one partner to unilaterally declare the marriage celibate is cruel.

Meeting your husband half way does not make you a sex doll; it makes you a loving and caring partner. Compromise is part of marriage, it is common sense.

Sex should not be a “duty.”

Once having you touch my body ceases being a pleasure, your “privileges” are withdrawn.

( I have never understood how someone could enjoy sex with a partner who does not desire them. Seems like a blow up doll would be preferable. At least they can’t feel resentment or repulsion.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When dating someone in their 30s or early 40s, and the sex in the relationship is great. Is there a way of knowing if the woman will maintain her drive as she ages? This is my biggest concern as a man.

Your BIGGEST concern as a man?

At least he's honest about being a disgusting pig?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, almost everyone's hormones fall off a cliff at some point.

If yours don't, you need a sex doll, not an actual woman. Or, you need to date / marry a desperate poor young woman.

If your hormones fall off, you still have an obligation to meet your husband half way and fulfill your marital duties. It is your responsibility to figure it out instead of leaving your husband hanging. For one partner to unilaterally declare the marriage celibate is cruel.

Meeting your husband half way does not make you a sex doll; it makes you a loving and caring partner. Compromise is part of marriage, it is common sense.

Maybe it's just a phrasing thing, but the idea of my wife "fulfilling her marital duties" makes my skin crawl. I want to keep having sex, but I want her to be an enthusiastic participant. If she's not, it's - at *best* - an unnecessarily complicated form of masturbation. I know I've heard wives around here say that "wanting her to want it" is expecting too much; but that's exactly what I want.

I 100% agree. The men who want their wives to have sex with them out of "duty" when they don't want to sound so creepy. Why do you want to have sex with someone who isn't enthusiastically into it? These men see women as a series of holes to fulfil them, not as human beings. It's extremely rapey.

Anonymous wrote:Women tend to have a lower libidio, as they age, yes. That is Mother Nature. Many men do as well.

If you can't deal with that, don't get married.

If husband and wife's libido drops off at more or less the same time and rate, it's no problem. Large disparities are where the marriage becomes miserable.

Anonymous wrote:When dating someone in their 30s or early 40s, and the sex in the relationship is great. Is there a way of knowing if the woman will maintain her drive as she ages? This is my biggest concern as a man.

Your BIGGEST concern as a man?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, almost everyone's hormones fall off a cliff at some point.

If yours don't, you need a sex doll, not an actual woman. Or, you need to date / marry a desperate poor young woman.

If your hormones fall off, you still have an obligation to meet your husband half way and fulfill your marital duties. It is your responsibility to figure it out instead of leaving your husband hanging. For one partner to unilaterally declare the marriage celibate is cruel.

Meeting your husband half way does not make you a sex doll; it makes you a loving and caring partner. Compromise is part of marriage, it is common sense.

Maybe it's just a phrasing thing, but the idea of my wife "fulfilling her marital duties" makes my skin crawl. I want to keep having sex, but I want her to be an enthusiastic participant. If she's not, it's - at *best* - an unnecessarily complicated form of masturbation. I know I've heard wives around here say that "wanting her to want it" is expecting too much; but that's exactly what I want.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, almost everyone's hormones fall off a cliff at some point.

If yours don't, you need a sex doll, not an actual woman. Or, you need to date / marry a desperate poor young woman.

If your hormones fall off, you still have an obligation to meet your husband half way and fulfill your marital duties. It is your responsibility to figure it out instead of leaving your husband hanging. For one partner to unilaterally declare the marriage celibate is cruel.

Meeting your husband half way does not make you a sex doll; it makes you a loving and caring partner. Compromise is part of marriage, it is common sense.

The funny thing is that when something happens to men that destroys their sex drive they turn it into a matter of personal enlightenment to conclude that sex was always overrated, not a moment of invoking a duty.

Case in point: https://hanifkureishi.substack.com/p/sex-not

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, almost everyone's hormones fall off a cliff at some point.

If yours don't, you need a sex doll, not an actual woman. Or, you need to date / marry a desperate poor young woman.

If your hormones fall off, you still have an obligation to meet your husband half way and fulfill your marital duties. It is your responsibility to figure it out instead of leaving your husband hanging. For one partner to unilaterally declare the marriage celibate is cruel.

Meeting your husband half way does not make you a sex doll; it makes you a loving and caring partner. Compromise is part of marriage, it is common sense.

Sounds like we have a strong supporter of marital rape! Interesting flex.

Willfully meeting your husband half way is called compromise, which is part of any marriage. And this goes for husbands too. Nobody is forcing anyone to do anything

Women tend to have a lower libidio, as they age, yes. That is Mother Nature. Many men do as well.

If you can't deal with that, don't get married.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, almost everyone's hormones fall off a cliff at some point.

If yours don't, you need a sex doll, not an actual woman. Or, you need to date / marry a desperate poor young woman.

If your hormones fall off, you still have an obligation to meet your husband half way and fulfill your marital duties. It is your responsibility to figure it out instead of leaving your husband hanging. For one partner to unilaterally declare the marriage celibate is cruel.

Meeting your husband half way does not make you a sex doll; it makes you a loving and caring partner. Compromise is part of marriage, it is common sense.

Sounds like we have a strong supporter of marital rape! Interesting flex.

Anonymous wrote:OP, almost everyone's hormones fall off a cliff at some point.

If yours don't, you need a sex doll, not an actual woman. Or, you need to date / marry a desperate poor young woman.

If your hormones fall off, you still have an obligation to meet your husband half way and fulfill your marital duties. It is your responsibility to figure it out instead of leaving your husband hanging. For one partner to unilaterally declare the marriage celibate is cruel.

Meeting your husband half way does not make you a sex doll; it makes you a loving and caring partner. Compromise is part of marriage, it is common sense.

There's probably no way to know if her libido will stay strong over time. But I wonder if it's more within the realm of possibility to know whether she will continue to regard the idea of sex in a marriage as important, not be dismissive of your desire for sex to continue to be a prominent feature of the relationship, and put forth the same level of effort that you do into making sure that both spouses are as satisfied as they can be with sex in the marriage.