OP, your child is still 2-not yet 3-well within the normal range to not be potty trained yet.

I'd back off (especially since you said you are at the point of tantrums about sitting on the pottty) and just keep the potty available (in the bathroom or wherever you have it). Keep encouraging-but not forcing or causing tantrums. My guess is that your dc is going to be ready in the not distant future. Also keep in mind that sometimes, parents brag that their young child is 'potty trained' when in reality, they have managed to put a few pees in the potty, but still poop in the diaper.

My oldest was nearly 3 before he trained-I was frustrated. But it all clicked one day and he fully trained in a few days. He's an electrical engineer now so I guess he's smart enough lol.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I trained both my boys before age 2. About 20-21 months.

We used o crap but your daughter might be a bit old for that method. That method is intended for 20-30 months of age. Girls are often trained at 18-24 months and many people wait later for boys.

The closer you get to age 3 the harder it gets. You want to train when they are still in the pleasing stage. 3 is notoriously hard.

3 is mostly hard if you powerstruggled earlier and failed. If you wait till 3 it’s usually a breeze.

Or you could wait til middle school and tell them you're going to take their phone away if they don't use the toilet.

Except the vast majority of kids are trained before they start school, and training at 3 has no long term impact on a kid's life. Kids who aren't trained by the time school starts usually have other issues.

I honestly feel bad for people who think potty training 6-12 months earlier than other kids is some parenting badge of honor. Seriously, who cares?

My kids went to preschool a few mornings a week when they were 2 and they had to be potty trained. I don't think I knew any moms who waited to send their kids to any sort of program until kindergarten. Do people with late trained kids opt out of preschool or just wait until later because of potty training?

That's very rare. My kid was in a co-op at 2 and starts preschool at 3 and there were plenty of kids in both who were still in diapers or pull ups. Obviously less at age 3, but still a few. Most preschools are certified daycare facilities and can change diapers -- the only reason they require kids to be trained is if they don't want to jump through the hoops to be a certified facility which would allow their workers to handle toileting issues. It developmentally normal for many 2 year olds and some 3 year olds to still be working on toilet training.

This was several years ago but it was a "high end" preschool and there was no diapering. The teachers they hired were not daycare workers. It wasn't that they were avoiding getting licensed as a daycare. I think the kids had to be 2.5 or 2 years and 9 months to go there. I never heard any of the parents complain about not being able to send their kid in diapers or pull ups.

Right, "high end" preschools that don't operate as daycare facilities are rare. Most kids in some kind of group care at age 2 are in daycare, and daycares will change a 2 year old's diaper.

Parents don't complain because who cares? Lots of daycares/preschools will take kids in pull-ups at that age so it doesn't matter. One of my kids was trained at 2.5, the other was not. If we'd looked into that program for the one who wasn't, I would have just been like "whatever we'll send her to this other school that permits pull ups." We're talking about "school" for 2 year olds here so it doesn't actually matter. A kid can learn the alphabet song and how to count to 10 in French and get lessons on how "sharing is caring" almost anywear.

Our daycare has no concerns about her moving to the preschool room without being potty trained. It's a lovely daycare she goes to for some of the week, but their lack of need for potty training means they haven't pushed it when she is at daycare which has been one of our challenges. They've said she isn't ready to be in underwear there yet which I worried had made it confusing for her at times.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right when they turn 3. It will take a couple of days

I agree. People who start 18 months spend months trying to train a baby not physically ready.

Disposable diapers made waiting so long a thing. For centuries and in most parts of the world, no one is waiting until 3. This is a relatively new thing based on capitalism/waste. The better the diapers get, the longer people think it takes for their kids to be ready to use a toilet.

For centuries most/many people didn't even have toilets and plenty of kids just peed on themselves until they could control it. They learned to poop in a trough somewhere. Some cultures used to toilet train by simply carrying their children around all the time everywhere (in slings or baskets) and then noticing they were peeing and pulling them away to pee on the ground. In lots of cultures children ran around naked or close to naked until puberty started. It's actually a very recent phenomenon to have indoor plumbing and the kind of culture/environment where "toilet training" is even a thing, and the idea of it being something a parent teaches their child alone in a house without other adults reinforcing or helping is even more recent. People also used to beat kids regularly, which is incredibly cruel and caused all kinds of mental health issues but also was a very effective way to get kids to stop certain behaviors we didn't like, like peeing on the floor. Please stop acting like the last 80 years are the entirety of human history.

In 2025 in the United States, a child toilet training at 3 is perfectly normal and will in no way inhibit their development or make it hard for them to function in society.

Tell your kid that when they are embarrassed to be pooping in a swim diaper in the pool when the other kids are using the bathroom.

3 year olds don't care, so you won't have to explain this to them. Only judgmental middle aged women who think toilet training is the epitome of parenting care, and 3 year olds rarely care what people like that think.

Op here - she does not care at all in our group meet ups, I was hoping she would want to be like her friends, and she is or ahead in many ways but has zero interest to not be the one in diapers...

Kids are physiologically ready and easiest to train between 18 and 24 months but they have small bladders and need frequent trips to the bathroom and it isn't convenient for a lot of parents / caregivers. Disposable diapers make that option a lot more convenient.

After 2, kids developmentally are starting to want a lot more control and autonomy and are harder to train and are more resistant to what parents want them to do. You kind of have to wait until they want to and decide to do it. For most kids that is sometime between 2.5 and 4.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oldest was 3 years 8 months. Youngest was 3 years 2 months. I didn’t push it, and they trained in a day. Parenting is hard enough without creating your own battles. They are now both normal teenagers.

Does this mean they did not attend preschool?

I posted that one of my DS didn’t train until 3yrs 9 months or so. Right before he started (2 full years of) preschool. He has an October birthday and we lived in a state with a Sept 1 cutoff (therefore he was nearly 6 when he started kindergarten- not redshirted- just one of the oldest).

There is so much variation.

Kid 1 (girl): 2yrs 3mos or so, took about a day. Dry at night a few months later.

Kid 2 (boy): 2yrs 9mos or so. 2nd try I think. Needed pull ups at night until around his 6th birthday.

Kid 3 (boy): 3yrs 8mos. After multiple failed tries (at least 3-4 tries where he was NOT catching on at all). Was finally ready at this age and trained in a day. Dry at night too almost immediately.

I really think they train when they are ready. If a parent really pushes it before they are ready, I’m sure it can be done. But in some cases it seems like it is the parent who is trained and not really the child. Reminding them every hour, near daily accidents etc for months. To each their own, but I was not up for that. “Trained” to me, means reminders not needed for long (other than maybe before leaving the house), and only occasional accidents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I trained both my boys before age 2. About 20-21 months.

We used o crap but your daughter might be a bit old for that method. That method is intended for 20-30 months of age. Girls are often trained at 18-24 months and many people wait later for boys.

The closer you get to age 3 the harder it gets. You want to train when they are still in the pleasing stage. 3 is notoriously hard.

3 is mostly hard if you powerstruggled earlier and failed. If you wait till 3 it’s usually a breeze.

Or you could wait til middle school and tell them you're going to take their phone away if they don't use the toilet.

Except the vast majority of kids are trained before they start school, and training at 3 has no long term impact on a kid's life. Kids who aren't trained by the time school starts usually have other issues.

I honestly feel bad for people who think potty training 6-12 months earlier than other kids is some parenting badge of honor. Seriously, who cares?

My kids went to preschool a few mornings a week when they were 2 and they had to be potty trained. I don't think I knew any moms who waited to send their kids to any sort of program until kindergarten. Do people with late trained kids opt out of preschool or just wait until later because of potty training?

That's very rare. My kid was in a co-op at 2 and starts preschool at 3 and there were plenty of kids in both who were still in diapers or pull ups. Obviously less at age 3, but still a few. Most preschools are certified daycare facilities and can change diapers -- the only reason they require kids to be trained is if they don't want to jump through the hoops to be a certified facility which would allow their workers to handle toileting issues. It developmentally normal for many 2 year olds and some 3 year olds to still be working on toilet training.

This was several years ago but it was a "high end" preschool and there was no diapering. The teachers they hired were not daycare workers. It wasn't that they were avoiding getting licensed as a daycare. I think the kids had to be 2.5 or 2 years and 9 months to go there. I never heard any of the parents complain about not being able to send their kid in diapers or pull ups.

Right, "high end" preschools that don't operate as daycare facilities are rare. Most kids in some kind of group care at age 2 are in daycare, and daycares will change a 2 year old's diaper.

Parents don't complain because who cares? Lots of daycares/preschools will take kids in pull-ups at that age so it doesn't matter. One of my kids was trained at 2.5, the other was not. If we'd looked into that program for the one who wasn't, I would have just been like "whatever we'll send her to this other school that permits pull ups." We're talking about "school" for 2 year olds here so it doesn't actually matter. A kid can learn the alphabet song and how to count to 10 in French and get lessons on how "sharing is caring" almost anywear.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right when they turn 3. It will take a couple of days

I agree. People who start 18 months spend months trying to train a baby not physically ready.

Disposable diapers made waiting so long a thing. For centuries and in most parts of the world, no one is waiting until 3. This is a relatively new thing based on capitalism/waste. The better the diapers get, the longer people think it takes for their kids to be ready to use a toilet.

For centuries most/many people didn't even have toilets and plenty of kids just peed on themselves until they could control it. They learned to poop in a trough somewhere. Some cultures used to toilet train by simply carrying their children around all the time everywhere (in slings or baskets) and then noticing they were peeing and pulling them away to pee on the ground. In lots of cultures children ran around naked or close to naked until puberty started. It's actually a very recent phenomenon to have indoor plumbing and the kind of culture/environment where "toilet training" is even a thing, and the idea of it being something a parent teaches their child alone in a house without other adults reinforcing or helping is even more recent. People also used to beat kids regularly, which is incredibly cruel and caused all kinds of mental health issues but also was a very effective way to get kids to stop certain behaviors we didn't like, like peeing on the floor. Please stop acting like the last 80 years are the entirety of human history.

In 2025 in the United States, a child toilet training at 3 is perfectly normal and will in no way inhibit their development or make it hard for them to function in society.

Tell your kid that when they are embarrassed to be pooping in a swim diaper in the pool when the other kids are using the bathroom.

3 year olds don't care, so you won't have to explain this to them. Only judgmental middle aged women who think toilet training is the epitome of parenting care, and 3 year olds rarely care what people like that think.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right when they turn 3. It will take a couple of days

I agree. People who start 18 months spend months trying to train a baby not physically ready.

Disposable diapers made waiting so long a thing. For centuries and in most parts of the world, no one is waiting until 3. This is a relatively new thing based on capitalism/waste. The better the diapers get, the longer people think it takes for their kids to be ready to use a toilet.

For centuries most/many people didn't even have toilets and plenty of kids just peed on themselves until they could control it. They learned to poop in a trough somewhere. Some cultures used to toilet train by simply carrying their children around all the time everywhere (in slings or baskets) and then noticing they were peeing and pulling them away to pee on the ground. In lots of cultures children ran around naked or close to naked until puberty started. It's actually a very recent phenomenon to have indoor plumbing and the kind of culture/environment where "toilet training" is even a thing, and the idea of it being something a parent teaches their child alone in a house without other adults reinforcing or helping is even more recent. People also used to beat kids regularly, which is incredibly cruel and caused all kinds of mental health issues but also was a very effective way to get kids to stop certain behaviors we didn't like, like peeing on the floor. Please stop acting like the last 80 years are the entirety of human history.

In 2025 in the United States, a child toilet training at 3 is perfectly normal and will in no way inhibit their development or make it hard for them to function in society.

Tell your kid that when they are embarrassed to be pooping in a swim diaper in the pool when the other kids are using the bathroom.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I trained both my boys before age 2. About 20-21 months.

We used o crap but your daughter might be a bit old for that method. That method is intended for 20-30 months of age. Girls are often trained at 18-24 months and many people wait later for boys.

The closer you get to age 3 the harder it gets. You want to train when they are still in the pleasing stage. 3 is notoriously hard.

3 is mostly hard if you powerstruggled earlier and failed. If you wait till 3 it’s usually a breeze.

Or you could wait til middle school and tell them you're going to take their phone away if they don't use the toilet.

Except the vast majority of kids are trained before they start school, and training at 3 has no long term impact on a kid's life. Kids who aren't trained by the time school starts usually have other issues.

I honestly feel bad for people who think potty training 6-12 months earlier than other kids is some parenting badge of honor. Seriously, who cares?

My kids went to preschool a few mornings a week when they were 2 and they had to be potty trained. I don't think I knew any moms who waited to send their kids to any sort of program until kindergarten. Do people with late trained kids opt out of preschool or just wait until later because of potty training?

That's very rare. My kid was in a co-op at 2 and starts preschool at 3 and there were plenty of kids in both who were still in diapers or pull ups. Obviously less at age 3, but still a few. Most preschools are certified daycare facilities and can change diapers -- the only reason they require kids to be trained is if they don't want to jump through the hoops to be a certified facility which would allow their workers to handle toileting issues. It developmentally normal for many 2 year olds and some 3 year olds to still be working on toilet training.

This was several years ago but it was a "high end" preschool and there was no diapering. The teachers they hired were not daycare workers. It wasn't that they were avoiding getting licensed as a daycare. I think the kids had to be 2.5 or 2 years and 9 months to go there. I never heard any of the parents complain about not being able to send their kid in diapers or pull ups.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right when they turn 3. It will take a couple of days

I agree. People who start 18 months spend months trying to train a baby not physically ready.

Disposable diapers made waiting so long a thing. For centuries and in most parts of the world, no one is waiting until 3. This is a relatively new thing based on capitalism/waste. The better the diapers get, the longer people think it takes for their kids to be ready to use a toilet.

For centuries most/many people didn't even have toilets and plenty of kids just peed on themselves until they could control it. They learned to poop in a trough somewhere. Some cultures used to toilet train by simply carrying their children around all the time everywhere (in slings or baskets) and then noticing they were peeing and pulling them away to pee on the ground. In lots of cultures children ran around naked or close to naked until puberty started. It's actually a very recent phenomenon to have indoor plumbing and the kind of culture/environment where "toilet training" is even a thing, and the idea of it being something a parent teaches their child alone in a house without other adults reinforcing or helping is even more recent. People also used to beat kids regularly, which is incredibly cruel and caused all kinds of mental health issues but also was a very effective way to get kids to stop certain behaviors we didn't like, like peeing on the floor. Please stop acting like the last 80 years are the entirety of human history.

In 2025 in the United States, a child toilet training at 3 is perfectly normal and will in no way inhibit their development or make it hard for them to function in society.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I trained both my boys before age 2. About 20-21 months.

We used o crap but your daughter might be a bit old for that method. That method is intended for 20-30 months of age. Girls are often trained at 18-24 months and many people wait later for boys.

The closer you get to age 3 the harder it gets. You want to train when they are still in the pleasing stage. 3 is notoriously hard.

3 is mostly hard if you powerstruggled earlier and failed. If you wait till 3 it’s usually a breeze.

Or you could wait til middle school and tell them you're going to take their phone away if they don't use the toilet.

Except the vast majority of kids are trained before they start school, and training at 3 has no long term impact on a kid's life. Kids who aren't trained by the time school starts usually have other issues.

I honestly feel bad for people who think potty training 6-12 months earlier than other kids is some parenting badge of honor. Seriously, who cares?

My kids went to preschool a few mornings a week when they were 2 and they had to be potty trained. I don't think I knew any moms who waited to send their kids to any sort of program until kindergarten. Do people with late trained kids opt out of preschool or just wait until later because of potty training?

That's very rare. My kid was in a co-op at 2 and starts preschool at 3 and there were plenty of kids in both who were still in diapers or pull ups. Obviously less at age 3, but still a few. Most preschools are certified daycare facilities and can change diapers -- the only reason they require kids to be trained is if they don't want to jump through the hoops to be a certified facility which would allow their workers to handle toileting issues. It developmentally normal for many 2 year olds and some 3 year olds to still be working on toilet training.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right when they turn 3. It will take a couple of days

I agree. People who start 18 months spend months trying to train a baby not physically ready.

They also wind up doing a lot more work for the "trained" 18 mo old. You can train a kid that age to sit on a potty and go, and you can usually get them on a schedule. However, you are going to be lugging that training potty around for months because they will need to pee while you are at the playground, at the coffee shop, at the library (this is why you see parents and nannies whipping out those training potties everywhere now, which didn't used to be a thing). You also often have to help them more physically, helping with clothes, helping get on a big potty, etc., just because they are smaller and have more rudimentary motor skills.

I frankly don't get it. Just wait 6 months and you don't have to deal with any of this. My kid used one of those baby Bjorn training potties for like 2 weeks and then was using a regular toilet, and could get on the toilet herself and do her clothes entirely herself and wash her hands herself. Sometimes I helped with wiping for #2 but that was it.

My oldest was very easy to train at 18 months. It wasn’t hard work at all. All kids are different.

I'm a PP who trained at 18 mo. All kids are different. My kid was a ready to train and therefore it was a breeze to do, even dry overnights. You don't have to tell yourself training at 18 mo is impossible or hard. It doesn't have to be, and all kids are different.

i just trained my grandboy in a week. only for pee, not poop. his parents were on vacation.

she is definitely old enough, but all kids are different.

not sure what you tried, but when you do it, it's your JOB. you have to pay attention and work on it for a few days at least.

don't worry about what the other parents say.