Anonymous wrote:OP, you remind me of my coworker. She is single and has been for many years. Every time there is a company event that involves spouses or significant others, she throws a tantrum. She boycots the event and lets everyone know how insensitive it is to invite SOs to company things. Out of 20 people in my immediate group, she is the only one who is single.

OP here and I don't think this is the same at all, sorry. It would be the same if your coworker was complaining that she was not allowed to participate in some company-sponsored event because you had to sign up with your SO. So like if the company held a mixed doubles tennis tournament and everyone signed up with their spouses or SO, and she was like "this is really rude" I'd be on her side because, like twin day, that would exclude anyone who isn't partnered up for no particularly good reason (lots of ways to do a tennis tournament that would accommodate singles or non-coupled partners).

But she's just mad because she doesn't have a boyfriend. Which I have empathy for, but not inviting SOs wouldn't change that. Whereas skipping twin day has no negative impact on kids with best friends -- they will still see their friends and school and actually, could twin with them any day they wanted to even without a special day with it. But not doing twin day totally solves the problem of kids who can't find a twin or have trouble organizing with a twin.

Anonymous wrote:Please stop doing "spirit week" in elementary school.

It's fine if you do it right. Easy themes that don't require special prep or materials. It's especially nice at schools with uniforms because it gives the kids a chance to mix it up while keeping it low stakes.

Good themes: mismatch day, school colors day, pajama day, plaid (or "fall colors") day. A lot of schools will do stuff like wear orange for anti-bullying day or wear pink for breast cancer awareness, which is fine.

Bad themes: twin day, crazy hat day (also a lice hazard), formalwear day, beach day (asking for trouble), and decade theme day (it's too hard, some people will go overboard, and the kids usually don't get it because they don't know what "the 80s" were)

I also hate twin day. It’s just a recipe for kids feeling hurt (realizing your “bff” chose to twin with someone else) or excluded (no one to twin with).
Our school, as someone else noted, lets the students pick the spirit days, but I wish the faculty sponsor would take twin day off the table

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I was her I would lean in and bring my cat

I see what you did there, but then what do we do about all of the people who are allergic to cats?

Who cares about them, they don’t have to come. It is optional. I need my emotional support too.

whats wrong with being a twin damn

Anonymous wrote:Please stop doing "spirit week" in elementary school.

No need to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Schools can pare it down to the two or three themes that little kids actually enjoy, like pajama day and inside out clothes day. Our school once did a crazy hat/hair accessory day that was fun and low effort.

Please stop doing "spirit week" in elementary school.

Anonymous wrote:If I was her I would lean in and bring my cat

I see what you did there, but then what do we do about all of the people who are allergic to cats?

If I was her I would lean in and bring my cat

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you remind me of my coworker. She is single and has been for many years. Every time there is a company event that involves spouses or significant others, she throws a tantrum. She boycots the event and lets everyone know how insensitive it is to invite SOs to company things. Out of 20 people in my immediate group, she is the only one who is single.

and she has told you it sucks and you keep doing it. the whole point of this thread is that it sucks to be left out and instead of understanding that you are dumping on your coworker. do these events happen often? what does she get in return? I understand that she is not being forced to participate. and I understand that adults don't need to complain all the time. But we can try to be nicer to each other.

What exactly sucks about it? That she doesn't have a boyfirend? I'm sure it does, but I simply fail to see how that's any of our problem. She gets to attend like everyone else and bring whoever she pleases. No one is being mean to her or excluding her on purpose. She chooses to be offended over something that is not offensive at all. We all very much enjoy attending this once a year event with our spouses. She can bring a best friend or not attend at all. That's what I did when I didn't have a SO and that's what other people in my company who are uncoupled do. The idea that 300 people should forgo something because one person chooses to be offended is ludicrous.

+1. And there is an obvious reason why this woman is single.

That's just mean.

If this is once a year and she is allowed to bring someone, then I agree, it is on her. If it is multiple times a year and she isn't allowed a guest, I think that is wrong.

She is always allowed to bring a guest. Everyone is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you remind me of my coworker. She is single and has been for many years. Every time there is a company event that involves spouses or significant others, she throws a tantrum. She boycots the event and lets everyone know how insensitive it is to invite SOs to company things. Out of 20 people in my immediate group, she is the only one who is single.

and she has told you it sucks and you keep doing it. the whole point of this thread is that it sucks to be left out and instead of understanding that you are dumping on your coworker. do these events happen often? what does she get in return? I understand that she is not being forced to participate. and I understand that adults don't need to complain all the time. But we can try to be nicer to each other.

What exactly sucks about it? That she doesn't have a boyfirend? I'm sure it does, but I simply fail to see how that's any of our problem. She gets to attend like everyone else and bring whoever she pleases. No one is being mean to her or excluding her on purpose. She chooses to be offended over something that is not offensive at all. We all very much enjoy attending this once a year event with our spouses. She can bring a best friend or not attend at all. That's what I did when I didn't have a SO and that's what other people in my company who are uncoupled do. The idea that 300 people should forgo something because one person chooses to be offended is ludicrous.

+1. And there is an obvious reason why this woman is single.

That's just mean.

If this is once a year and she is allowed to bring someone, then I agree, it is on her. If it is multiple times a year and she isn't allowed a guest, I think that is wrong.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you remind me of my coworker. She is single and has been for many years. Every time there is a company event that involves spouses or significant others, she throws a tantrum. She boycots the event and lets everyone know how insensitive it is to invite SOs to company things. Out of 20 people in my immediate group, she is the only one who is single.

and she has told you it sucks and you keep doing it. the whole point of this thread is that it sucks to be left out and instead of understanding that you are dumping on your coworker. do these events happen often? what does she get in return? I understand that she is not being forced to participate. and I understand that adults don't need to complain all the time. But we can try to be nicer to each other.

What exactly sucks about it? That she doesn't have a boyfirend? I'm sure it does, but I simply fail to see how that's any of our problem. She gets to attend like everyone else and bring whoever she pleases. No one is being mean to her or excluding her on purpose. She chooses to be offended over something that is not offensive at all. We all very much enjoy attending this once a year event with our spouses. She can bring a best friend or not attend at all. That's what I did when I didn't have a SO and that's what other people in my company who are uncoupled do. The idea that 300 people should forgo something because one person chooses to be offended is ludicrous.

+1. And there is an obvious reason why this woman is single.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you remind me of my coworker. She is single and has been for many years. Every time there is a company event that involves spouses or significant others, she throws a tantrum. She boycots the event and lets everyone know how insensitive it is to invite SOs to company things. Out of 20 people in my immediate group, she is the only one who is single.

So you are in fact just excluding this one person who obviously cares. Lovely.

How are we excluding her? Please explain.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The teacher should randomly pair kids. It will be more interesting and take some actual effort for the kids to work together successfully.

No way. Way to take the fun out of something that already isn't that fun.

It’s school not a party. If they are going to do something stupid like twin day they might as well get something out of it. Most kids only talk to their small group of friends. Have them branch out and learn how to be comfortable working with different people.

They sit in the class all day with different people, of different abilities, from different backgrounds. It's all day, every day, they don't need another useless exercise to get "comfortable" when so much of the day is already uncomfortable.

Anonymous wrote:OP, you remind me of my coworker. She is single and has been for many years. Every time there is a company event that involves spouses or significant others, she throws a tantrum. She boycots the event and lets everyone know how insensitive it is to invite SOs to company things. Out of 20 people in my immediate group, she is the only one who is single.

So you are in fact just excluding this one person who obviously cares. Lovely.