Anonymous
11/08/2025 20:29
Subject: Can mental illness first appear in adulthood or old age?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:To those who saw this in others, what were signs? The friend I am worried about is constantly angry and irritable about seemingly small things or things way way in the past, and she seems to have a lot of drama with employers, and has left several jobs. When I try to ask what happened, she evades or misleads.
I fear she is bipolar or maybe schizophrenic… she clearly needs psychiatric help but she won’t open up to discussing it
The anger and irritability could be the mixed mania that can come with bipolar disorder. That is what it sounds like to me, and I have bipolar disorder. I have rage quit a lot of jobs, unfortunately, due to raging unstable moods. The good news is that medications are effective. The bad news is that the side effects can be bad enough that choosing not to take them is a rational decision for some. The lying you mentioned doesn't really fit with mood disorder, though -- that points me more in the direction of substance abuse. There could of course be both bipolar disorder and substance abuse; the two go hand-in-hand most of the time (which I tend to forget because I don't even drink).
And ... gently -- please don't say "I fear she is bipolar." "I fear she has bipolar disorder" is more appropriate.
Ok, got it. Sorry about that.
What are meds that work and what are the side effects? Is it possible she’s not on any?
Anonymous
11/08/2025 19:27
Subject: Can mental illness first appear in adulthood or old age?
Anonymous wrote:To those who saw this in others, what were signs? The friend I am worried about is constantly angry and irritable about seemingly small things or things way way in the past, and she seems to have a lot of drama with employers, and has left several jobs. When I try to ask what happened, she evades or misleads.
I fear she is bipolar or maybe schizophrenic… she clearly needs psychiatric help but she won’t open up to discussing it
The anger and irritability could be the mixed mania that can come with bipolar disorder. That is what it sounds like to me, and I have bipolar disorder. I have rage quit a lot of jobs, unfortunately, due to raging unstable moods. The good news is that medications are effective. The bad news is that the side effects can be bad enough that choosing not to take them is a rational decision for some. The lying you mentioned doesn't really fit with mood disorder, though -- that points me more in the direction of substance abuse. There could of course be both bipolar disorder and substance abuse; the two go hand-in-hand most of the time (which I tend to forget because I don't even drink).
And ... gently -- please don't say "I fear she is bipolar." "I fear she has bipolar disorder" is more appropriate.
Anonymous
11/08/2025 19:19
Subject: Can mental illness first appear in adulthood or old age?
She's likely always had it and it either got worse or she decided she had had enough of the (truly horrible) meds or she couldn't or wouldn't play society's (you must act/appear like this all the time) game anymore.
Anonymous
11/08/2025 19:11
Subject: Can mental illness first appear in adulthood or old age?
Yes people can get sick at any age. Some specific psychiatric illnesses are more likely to first happen in adoescence or early adulthood but people of any age can get sick.
Psych illnesses are no longer thought of as life long. They are for some people but others just have a shorter episode or they recover fully with treatment.
Psych illnesses are no longer thought of as life long. They are for some people but others just have a shorter episode or they recover fully with treatment.
Anonymous
11/08/2025 18:51
Subject: Can mental illness first appear in adulthood or old age?
Parasitic diseases of the brain can take years to manifest, such as Toxoplasmosis from cats/people/infected meats, or Tertiary Syphilis from a sleezy tryst.
Anonymous
11/08/2025 14:36
Subject: Can mental illness first appear in adulthood or old age?
^^and after my parents died, she cut ties with her siblings.
Anonymous
11/08/2025 14:35
Subject: Can mental illness first appear in adulthood or old age?
My sister around age 18
Anonymous
11/08/2025 14:33
Subject: Can mental illness first appear in adulthood or old age?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:NP and I don’t have good advice for anyone whose ill relative is seeing just a counselor or therapist. You really need a psychiatrist focused on medication and action-oriented therapy, and treatments like DBT or CBT. I say this as someone who has watched DH get progressively worse while hiding behind a therapist who does nothing but validate his feelings and take his out of pocket payments.
Agree. My sister was seeing a therapist for a while but was not telling the therapist the truth about herself (not saying anything about her delusions) so it was a big waste of money. So the whole thing was “let’s talk about the feelings that the delusions caused without actually discussing where those feelings came from, ie the delusions.”
I posted earlier about my sister showing delusional thinking around age 40. At one point my parents let her live with them if she went to an outpatient treatment. One day a staff member came out with her to talk to my mom and mentioned how she had been "severely abused" in her childhood. This was not true. I know because I was there. It was delusional thinking. She quit, left their house and ended up homeless for a while because she refused to see or talk to anyone which had become a pattern. My parents ended up supporting her for the rest of her life because eventually she came back and asked for help, but she never wanted psychiatric help and made a big deal about how she didn't take medications. She was unable to survive without their help and they were kind enough to do that.
Anonymous
11/08/2025 14:09
Subject: Can mental illness first appear in adulthood or old age?
Friend I have that I suspect is like this will call or text with an ‘emergency!! Need to talk!!’ I’ve learned that these ‘emergencies’ are not at all true emergencies so I don’t always respond right away, or I’ll text that I can talk at X or Y time, and ask for an update. Invariably she will provide very unclear info of what the emergency is (from what I can read, it’s that someone has done or said something or some sort of social question that is upsetting her).
What’s really frustrating is that I will say I can talk at X or Y time bc even though it’s not an emergency, she’s clearly upset… but then she ghosts me??! She won’t respond!!
WTF is that. Why??
Because she is unstable. That’s the issue with having a mental illness.
What’s really frustrating is that I will say I can talk at X or Y time bc even though it’s not an emergency, she’s clearly upset… but then she ghosts me??! She won’t respond!!
WTF is that. Why??
Because she is unstable. That’s the issue with having a mental illness.
Anonymous
11/08/2025 13:02
Subject: Can mental illness first appear in adulthood or old age?
Friend I have that I suspect is like this will call or text with an ‘emergency!! Need to talk!!’ I’ve learned that these ‘emergencies’ are not at all true emergencies so I don’t always respond right away, or I’ll text that I can talk at X or Y time, and ask for an update. Invariably she will provide very unclear info of what the emergency is (from what I can read, it’s that someone has done or said something or some sort of social question that is upsetting her).
What’s really frustrating is that I will say I can talk at X or Y time bc even though it’s not an emergency, she’s clearly upset… but then she ghosts me??! She won’t respond!!
WTF is that. Why??
What’s really frustrating is that I will say I can talk at X or Y time bc even though it’s not an emergency, she’s clearly upset… but then she ghosts me??! She won’t respond!!
WTF is that. Why??
Anonymous
11/07/2025 16:35
Subject: Can mental illness first appear in adulthood or old age?
Just set your boundaries.
Anonymous
11/07/2025 16:34
Subject: Can mental illness first appear in adulthood or old age?
Anonymous wrote:College friend could be high strung but was mostly very high functioning - an amazing student at a T10 school on scholarship, then went to grad school on scholarship and had a successful career for a number of years. But now 20 years later, she has grown increasingly erratic, and seems unable to deal with anything without flipping out. She seems unable to hold a job. I also suspect she lies and exaggerates a lot. I’ve tried to address with her directly but she only evades. This has been going on for several years now. I want to be a supportive friend but I’m at a loss. There is other mental illness in the family so I wonder if it’s something genetic that was triggered.
Yes yes and yes.
Hopefully someone in her family gets her in for a neuropsychology test.
Might only be adhd or asd, or something else.
Anonymous
11/07/2025 15:45
Subject: Can mental illness first appear in adulthood or old age?
To those who saw this in others, what were signs? The friend I am worried about is constantly angry and irritable about seemingly small things or things way way in the past, and she seems to have a lot of drama with employers, and has left several jobs. When I try to ask what happened, she evades or misleads.
I fear she is bipolar or maybe schizophrenic… she clearly needs psychiatric help but she won’t open up to discussing it
I fear she is bipolar or maybe schizophrenic… she clearly needs psychiatric help but she won’t open up to discussing it
Anonymous
11/05/2025 09:37
Subject: Can mental illness first appear in adulthood or old age?
Anonymous wrote:20:11 poster
minor issue signs:
1. the rapid speech
2. ghosting of family members for no reason
3. raging over minor things--raging over the size of the stack of napkins on the kitchen table
4. not responding to texts
5. not responding to emails
6. bizarre behavior prior to step daughters wedding, really bizarre behavior at the wedding--this was when I realized something was seriously wrong
7. ghosting Dad, then ghosting Mom, then ghosting step daughter, then ghosting me (the sister)
I’m the PP with the delusional sister and this is exactly how it played out with her, too. Bizarre behavior was not at a wedding but there was still public bizarre behavior.
Anonymous
11/05/2025 09:33
Subject: Can mental illness first appear in adulthood or old age?
Anonymous wrote:NP and I don’t have good advice for anyone whose ill relative is seeing just a counselor or therapist. You really need a psychiatrist focused on medication and action-oriented therapy, and treatments like DBT or CBT. I say this as someone who has watched DH get progressively worse while hiding behind a therapist who does nothing but validate his feelings and take his out of pocket payments.
Agree. My sister was seeing a therapist for a while but was not telling the therapist the truth about herself (not saying anything about her delusions) so it was a big waste of money. So the whole thing was “let’s talk about the feelings that the delusions caused without actually discussing where those feelings came from, ie the delusions.”