Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We make about the same— I make a little more, HHI is $500.

I am the budgeter, and have shown husband how we are on track to pay off our 30 year mortgage 15 years early if we keep our spending in check. That’s a very tangible goal.

We also sometimes talk about shorter term goals, spending splurges or vacation funds.

I do not police him, but I do the grocery shopping and meal planning even though he is the cook because he isn’t good at shopping on a budget. He has seen how much quicker our mortgage balance drops when we aren’t eating out as much, and that was the biggest budget lifestyle change for us.

Otherwise, if there’s a large purchase (car), I set the general guidelines and we make a decision together. For medium things (new tech, anything >$1000) we discuss together.

Why are you in such a rush to pay off your mortgage? What is the interest rate? That is often a foolish decision to take.

6%, which feels painful after our condo was 3%. I hate paying interest, it’s a tremendous savings to knock it off sooner and as someone who didn’t grow up with wealth, I think I’m more debt/risk averse than others.

We max our retirement account contributions and have solid emergency savings + kids tuitions taken care of first. The thought of not having that bill every month by the time our kids are in HS is hugely motivating to us.

DH gains access to a substantial trust at 55, and there are separate trusts for the kids. I’d rather take care of ourselves and use that $$$ for the kids or emergencies, but knowing it’s there does make me favor paying off debts more.

This all makes sense now. There's a significant power imbalance stemming from his family's wealth. He isn't worried because he and the kids are financially secure through his family's money—but OP is not (spouses never are). Hence, he's a spender and she's a saver.

If I were OP, I would save 100% of my salary and tell my husband that, since he earns $650k and has a large trust fund in his future, he should cover all family expenses, including the house and kids' expenses. He can spend whatever remains after that. This isn't simply a matter of figuring out a family budget. Everyone in this family, except OP, is financially set for life.

This 1000%! The huge trust is a major factor. He isn't a saver because he knows he simply doesn't need to. As long as he's not in debt, the money is there for his future and the kid's future (college and beyond most likely it sounds like). So yes, as the lower earner OP, I'd be putting 100% into savings for yourself.
Of course OP is a saver, she needs to do that to protect herself. At any point, her husband could up and leave and she would not get much, especially if he's not a saver and has nothing except the trust (which she cannot touch)

This is OP and I think you are confusing me with another poster. My DH does not have a trust. I am actually the one who stands to inherit a couple million from my side of the family ($5-6 million give or take).

Then work on your parsimonious addiction and let him have the grill.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We make about the same— I make a little more, HHI is $500.

I am the budgeter, and have shown husband how we are on track to pay off our 30 year mortgage 15 years early if we keep our spending in check. That’s a very tangible goal.

We also sometimes talk about shorter term goals, spending splurges or vacation funds.

I do not police him, but I do the grocery shopping and meal planning even though he is the cook because he isn’t good at shopping on a budget. He has seen how much quicker our mortgage balance drops when we aren’t eating out as much, and that was the biggest budget lifestyle change for us.

Otherwise, if there’s a large purchase (car), I set the general guidelines and we make a decision together. For medium things (new tech, anything >$1000) we discuss together.

Why are you in such a rush to pay off your mortgage? What is the interest rate? That is often a foolish decision to take.

6%, which feels painful after our condo was 3%. I hate paying interest, it’s a tremendous savings to knock it off sooner and as someone who didn’t grow up with wealth, I think I’m more debt/risk averse than others.

We max our retirement account contributions and have solid emergency savings + kids tuitions taken care of first. The thought of not having that bill every month by the time our kids are in HS is hugely motivating to us.

DH gains access to a substantial trust at 55, and there are separate trusts for the kids. I’d rather take care of ourselves and use that $$$ for the kids or emergencies, but knowing it’s there does make me favor paying off debts more.

This all makes sense now. There's a significant power imbalance stemming from his family's wealth. He isn't worried because he and the kids are financially secure through his family's money—but OP is not (spouses never are). Hence, he's a spender and she's a saver.

If I were OP, I would save 100% of my salary and tell my husband that, since he earns $650k and has a large trust fund in his future, he should cover all family expenses, including the house and kids' expenses. He can spend whatever remains after that. This isn't simply a matter of figuring out a family budget. Everyone in this family, except OP, is financially set for life.

This 1000%! The huge trust is a major factor. He isn't a saver because he knows he simply doesn't need to. As long as he's not in debt, the money is there for his future and the kid's future (college and beyond most likely it sounds like). So yes, as the lower earner OP, I'd be putting 100% into savings for yourself.
Of course OP is a saver, she needs to do that to protect herself. At any point, her husband could up and leave and she would not get much, especially if he's not a saver and has nothing except the trust (which she cannot touch)

This is OP and I think you are confusing me with another poster. My DH does not have a trust. I am actually the one who stands to inherit a couple million from my side of the family ($5-6 million give or take).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does your balance sheet look like? Based on your current spending, how much are you saving per year?

yea i don’t even understand why high earners use budgeting apps. We simply save/invest a set percentage from our income and as long as it is (for us) 200k/yr i really sign give s single sh!t what we spend the remainder on. We keep all debts and investments/cash on a balance sheet and watch our net worth grow. I really don’t care what i spend at the grocery store or at Sephora.

We are “high earners” but not wealthy, low savings since we are recent high earners. No inheritance. We must fund all of retirement, college and so forth. I am in a high tax state so the salary is much less in reality. So yes I budget carefully in order to save more.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We make about the same— I make a little more, HHI is $500.

I am the budgeter, and have shown husband how we are on track to pay off our 30 year mortgage 15 years early if we keep our spending in check. That’s a very tangible goal.

We also sometimes talk about shorter term goals, spending splurges or vacation funds.

I do not police him, but I do the grocery shopping and meal planning even though he is the cook because he isn’t good at shopping on a budget. He has seen how much quicker our mortgage balance drops when we aren’t eating out as much, and that was the biggest budget lifestyle change for us.

Otherwise, if there’s a large purchase (car), I set the general guidelines and we make a decision together. For medium things (new tech, anything >$1000) we discuss together.

Why are you in such a rush to pay off your mortgage? What is the interest rate? That is often a foolish decision to take.

6%, which feels painful after our condo was 3%. I hate paying interest, it’s a tremendous savings to knock it off sooner and as someone who didn’t grow up with wealth, I think I’m more debt/risk averse than others.

We max our retirement account contributions and have solid emergency savings + kids tuitions taken care of first. The thought of not having that bill every month by the time our kids are in HS is hugely motivating to us.

DH gains access to a substantial trust at 55, and there are separate trusts for the kids. I’d rather take care of ourselves and use that $$$ for the kids or emergencies, but knowing it’s there does make me favor paying off debts more.

This all makes sense now. There's a significant power imbalance stemming from his family's wealth. He isn't worried because he and the kids are financially secure through his family's money—but OP is not (spouses never are). Hence, he's a spender and she's a saver.

If I were OP, I would save 100% of my salary and tell my husband that, since he earns $650k and has a large trust fund in his future, he should cover all family expenses, including the house and kids' expenses. He can spend whatever remains after that. This isn't simply a matter of figuring out a family budget. Everyone in this family, except OP, is financially set for life.

This 1000%! The huge trust is a major factor. He isn't a saver because he knows he simply doesn't need to. As long as he's not in debt, the money is there for his future and the kid's future (college and beyond most likely it sounds like). So yes, as the lower earner OP, I'd be putting 100% into savings for yourself.
Of course OP is a saver, she needs to do that to protect herself. At any point, her husband could up and leave and she would not get much, especially if he's not a saver and has nothing except the trust (which she cannot touch)

This is OP and I think you are confusing me with another poster. My DH does not have a trust. I am actually the one who stands to inherit a couple million from my side of the family ($5-6 million give or take).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We make about the same— I make a little more, HHI is $500.

I am the budgeter, and have shown husband how we are on track to pay off our 30 year mortgage 15 years early if we keep our spending in check. That’s a very tangible goal.

We also sometimes talk about shorter term goals, spending splurges or vacation funds.

I do not police him, but I do the grocery shopping and meal planning even though he is the cook because he isn’t good at shopping on a budget. He has seen how much quicker our mortgage balance drops when we aren’t eating out as much, and that was the biggest budget lifestyle change for us.

Otherwise, if there’s a large purchase (car), I set the general guidelines and we make a decision together. For medium things (new tech, anything >$1000) we discuss together.

Why are you in such a rush to pay off your mortgage? What is the interest rate? That is often a foolish decision to take.

6%, which feels painful after our condo was 3%. I hate paying interest, it’s a tremendous savings to knock it off sooner and as someone who didn’t grow up with wealth, I think I’m more debt/risk averse than others.

We max our retirement account contributions and have solid emergency savings + kids tuitions taken care of first. The thought of not having that bill every month by the time our kids are in HS is hugely motivating to us.

DH gains access to a substantial trust at 55, and there are separate trusts for the kids. I’d rather take care of ourselves and use that $$$ for the kids or emergencies, but knowing it’s there does make me favor paying off debts more.

This all makes sense now. There's a significant power imbalance stemming from his family's wealth. He isn't worried because he and the kids are financially secure through his family's money—but OP is not (spouses never are). Hence, he's a spender and she's a saver.

If I were OP, I would save 100% of my salary and tell my husband that, since he earns $650k and has a large trust fund in his future, he should cover all family expenses, including the house and kids' expenses. He can spend whatever remains after that. This isn't simply a matter of figuring out a family budget. Everyone in this family, except OP, is financially set for life.

This 1000%! The huge trust is a major factor. He isn't a saver because he knows he simply doesn't need to. As long as he's not in debt, the money is there for his future and the kid's future (college and beyond most likely it sounds like). So yes, as the lower earner OP, I'd be putting 100% into savings for yourself.
Of course OP is a saver, she needs to do that to protect herself. At any point, her husband could up and leave and she would not get much, especially if he's not a saver and has nothing except the trust (which she cannot touch)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does your balance sheet look like? Based on your current spending, how much are you saving per year?

yea i don’t even understand why high earners use budgeting apps. We simply save/invest a set percentage from our income and as long as it is (for us) 200k/yr i really sign give s single sh!t what we spend the remainder on. We keep all debts and investments/cash on a balance sheet and watch our net worth grow. I really don’t care what i spend at the grocery store or at Sephora.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We make about the same— I make a little more, HHI is $500.

I am the budgeter, and have shown husband how we are on track to pay off our 30 year mortgage 15 years early if we keep our spending in check. That’s a very tangible goal.

We also sometimes talk about shorter term goals, spending splurges or vacation funds.

I do not police him, but I do the grocery shopping and meal planning even though he is the cook because he isn’t good at shopping on a budget. He has seen how much quicker our mortgage balance drops when we aren’t eating out as much, and that was the biggest budget lifestyle change for us.

Otherwise, if there’s a large purchase (car), I set the general guidelines and we make a decision together. For medium things (new tech, anything >$1000) we discuss together.

Why are you in such a rush to pay off your mortgage? What is the interest rate? That is often a foolish decision to take.

6%, which feels painful after our condo was 3%. I hate paying interest, it’s a tremendous savings to knock it off sooner and as someone who didn’t grow up with wealth, I think I’m more debt/risk averse than others.

We max our retirement account contributions and have solid emergency savings + kids tuitions taken care of first. The thought of not having that bill every month by the time our kids are in HS is hugely motivating to us.

DH gains access to a substantial trust at 55, and there are separate trusts for the kids. I’d rather take care of ourselves and use that $$$ for the kids or emergencies, but knowing it’s there does make me favor paying off debts more.

This all makes sense now. There's a significant power imbalance stemming from his family's wealth. He isn't worried because he and the kids are financially secure through his family's money—but OP is not (spouses never are). Hence, he's a spender and she's a saver.

If I were OP, I would save 100% of my salary and tell my husband that, since he earns $650k and has a large trust fund in his future, he should cover all family expenses, including the house and kids' expenses. He can spend whatever remains after that. This isn't simply a matter of figuring out a family budget. Everyone in this family, except OP, is financially set for life.

Anonymous wrote:Op, we have a mid-seven figures HHI, all brought in by my DH and I am constantly giving him a hard time about watching our budget.

The thing is, DH and I sit down together at the beginning of the year and set savings goals for ourselves. We also set a general budget. It’s generous (we spend about $30k per month including our mortgage, not including income taxes or private school tuition) and then I expect us to stick to it.

We can afford to spend more than our budget, but what’s the point in making a budget if we aren’t going to follow it? I don’t mind if we overspend by $1-2K during a month, but there is no reason we should regularly be overspending that much each month.

Anonymous wrote:What does your balance sheet look like? Based on your current spending, how much are you saving per year?

Anonymous wrote:What if the spender is also the main breadwinner in the family? Do you give them a budget of how much they can spend each month on extraneous items?

Our salary difference is extreme - DH makes $650,000 and I make $150,000. But DH is the spender of the two of us and I do our budget. I feel bad when I tell him to spend less because I know he works a lot and deserves to reap the benefits of his hard work. But I also have a budget and financial goals for us that we need to meet each year so think it’s silly to spend money on things like a new grill, workout equipment, sports events, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if the spender is also the main breadwinner in the family? Do you give them a budget of how much they can spend each month on extraneous items?

Our salary difference is extreme - DH makes $650,000 and I make $150,000. But DH is the spender of the two of us and I do our budget. I feel bad when I tell him to spend less because I know he works a lot and deserves to reap the benefits of his hard work. But I also have a budget and financial goals for us that we need to meet each year so think it’s silly to spend money on things like a new grill, workout equipment, sports events, etc.

You can't possibly be for real. Workout equipment? Sports events? 800K household income?