Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS graduated from Swarthmore. Sure, he worked hard, but I never heard/felt major stress from him. To those parents who think they see this INTENSITY when they tour, what are you seeing?

I asked about this on a Swarthmore thread. I visited with my DS this summer and maybe because we had a very outgoing and funny tour guide, my kid came away very enthusiastic. But everything I read here claims it is an "intense" school - how do we know that? what does that mean? How are we supposed to know if a school is too "intense" for any particular kid?

You can never know for sure.

People come away from tours with certain impressions, accurate or not. When visiting Dartmouth, we met several students, including our very accomplished tour guide, who politely said that academics were intense. They actually came out and said it. While it was never described quite as plainly elsewhere, we got the same vibe at Williams and Georgetown. We visited other colleges like Middlebury where we got the distinct impression that our tour guide was an airhead and lots of other students we met were there to have fun and not study - and the admissions person we heard did nothing to dispel that view.

Ha, ha, ha. Would never describe Georgetown as intense. - An alumna

Anonymous wrote:Whether a college is intense depends a lot on the HS you came from. Some colleges love specific high schools bc the kids from there tend to thrive and transition well to their campus culture.

If you check Naviance and see kids from your HS applying to a college every year but none ever gets in, that tells you 1) they likely wont accept your kid either and 2) even if your kid gets in, they may not be a great fit. These admissions officers have been doing this for decades and have seen 100k+ files, they know more than we do. Take their lead.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS graduated from Swarthmore. Sure, he worked hard, but I never heard/felt major stress from him. To those parents who think they see this INTENSITY when they tour, what are you seeing?

I asked about this on a Swarthmore thread. I visited with my DS this summer and maybe because we had a very outgoing and funny tour guide, my kid came away very enthusiastic. But everything I read here claims it is an "intense" school - how do we know that? what does that mean? How are we supposed to know if a school is too "intense" for any particular kid?

You can never know for sure.

People come away from tours with certain impressions, accurate or not. When visiting Dartmouth, we met several students, including our very accomplished tour guide, who politely said that academics were intense. They actually came out and said it. While it was never described quite as plainly elsewhere, we got the same vibe at Williams and Georgetown. We visited other colleges like Middlebury where we got the distinct impression that our tour guide was an airhead and lots of other students we met were there to have fun and not study - and the admissions person we heard did nothing to dispel that view.

Interesting. We had the opposite impression. At Dartmouth we saw a lot of frat boys and athletes who didn’t seem particularly interested in academics or intellectualism—more into having fun. My friend’s daughter who goes to Middlebury is intensely focused on academics. Guess you’ll find both at every college.

Just curious - how you are so sure those “frat boys and athletes” you saw are not ALSO interested in academics or intellectualism?

Do you genuinely think that kids who have a lot of fun in college aren’t ALSO super committed to the substantive part?

For example, the kid we know at Dartmouth is brilliant, deep, and intellectual. If you were to talk with him for two minutes about his classes, internships, or ideas, it would be clear how substantive and thoughtful he is.

Though he was more introverted and maybe a little awkward in early high school, he’s now 6’3” and looks like a frat boy. Which he is. At Dartmouth.

The either-or stereotyping on this board amazes me sometimes. About both boys and girls, alike.

Kids can be good-looking and social and ALSO intellectual and committed to their academics.

Both things can co-exist. Our kid is looking for schools where they often do!

And yet here you go stereotyping. Why did you include this guy’s height? Answer: because you believe taller is best and you’re trying to convey that Dartmouth kid is firing on all fronts — intellectual, frat party and tall. As if his height had anything to do with anything besides genetics.


If intellectual party man was 5’ 9”, I guarantee you wouldn’t have mentioned it. Because stereotypes

Anonymous wrote:I think when people call a school “intense,” it’s usually referring to engineering, which is a grind everywhere. But there are some schools that have notoriously stressful engineering departments. Cornell and Carnegie Mellon come to mind. But I’m sure students in other majors have a more typical college experience.

But “intense” is usually thrown at the strong STEM schools - Cornell, CMU, MIT, Georgia Tech etc But it’s major specific. The anthropology majors at these schools are not nearly as stressed as the engineering majors.

Swarthmore is kind of unique. And Chicago was too until recently. These two schools were the places where the humanities and social science students could totally nerd out. I think that’s lightened up in recent years. And neither are as “intense” as their reputation.

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to return to OP's framing question. Is it a "preconception" that schools are hard?

I have six Cornell alumni in my family. They all represented the academics as quite challenging. 2 of them were Greek and had a lot of fun, and still felt the academics were challenging. I have my grandma's diary from the 1930s where she was fretting about a chemistry test. From the outside, I'd say the students believe in and foster the impression that it's a challenging school.

Now for the flip side. Many smart people enjoy challenges and the Ithaca academic environment. Many people have a lot of fun at Cornell. Many people reminisce fondly about their time there. Many people are used to weather like Cornell has. It certainly was never an issue for my PA/NY originating family.

Go if you feel like being challenged and you can live with imperfect grades. It's fairly certain you will be challenged.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS graduated from Swarthmore. Sure, he worked hard, but I never heard/felt major stress from him. To those parents who think they see this INTENSITY when they tour, what are you seeing?

I asked about this on a Swarthmore thread. I visited with my DS this summer and maybe because we had a very outgoing and funny tour guide, my kid came away very enthusiastic. But everything I read here claims it is an "intense" school - how do we know that? what does that mean? How are we supposed to know if a school is too "intense" for any particular kid?

You can never know for sure.

People come away from tours with certain impressions, accurate or not. When visiting Dartmouth, we met several students, including our very accomplished tour guide, who politely said that academics were intense. They actually came out and said it. While it was never described quite as plainly elsewhere, we got the same vibe at Williams and Georgetown. We visited other colleges like Middlebury where we got the distinct impression that our tour guide was an airhead and lots of other students we met were there to have fun and not study - and the admissions person we heard did nothing to dispel that view.

Interesting. We had the opposite impression. At Dartmouth we saw a lot of frat boys and athletes who didn’t seem particularly interested in academics or intellectualism—more into having fun. My friend’s daughter who goes to Middlebury is intensely focused on academics. Guess you’ll find both at every college.

Just curious - how you are so sure those “frat boys and athletes” you saw are not ALSO interested in academics or intellectualism?

Do you genuinely think that kids who have a lot of fun in college aren’t ALSO super committed to the substantive part?

For example, the kid we know at Dartmouth is brilliant, deep, and intellectual. If you were to talk with him for two minutes about his classes, internships, or ideas, it would be clear how substantive and thoughtful he is.

Though he was more introverted and maybe a little awkward in early high school, he’s now 6’3” and looks like a frat boy. Which he is. At Dartmouth.

The either-or stereotyping on this board amazes me sometimes. About both boys and girls, alike.

Kids can be good-looking and social and ALSO intellectual and committed to their academics.

Both things can co-exist. Our kid is looking for schools where they often do!

A lot of them are at top state universities- UVA, UMD, Michigan, Florida, UNC Chapel Hill.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS graduated from Swarthmore. Sure, he worked hard, but I never heard/felt major stress from him. To those parents who think they see this INTENSITY when they tour, what are you seeing?

I asked about this on a Swarthmore thread. I visited with my DS this summer and maybe because we had a very outgoing and funny tour guide, my kid came away very enthusiastic. But everything I read here claims it is an "intense" school - how do we know that? what does that mean? How are we supposed to know if a school is too "intense" for any particular kid?

You can never know for sure.

People come away from tours with certain impressions, accurate or not. When visiting Dartmouth, we met several students, including our very accomplished tour guide, who politely said that academics were intense. They actually came out and said it. While it was never described quite as plainly elsewhere, we got the same vibe at Williams and Georgetown. We visited other colleges like Middlebury where we got the distinct impression that our tour guide was an airhead and lots of other students we met were there to have fun and not study - and the admissions person we heard did nothing to dispel that view.

Interesting. We had the opposite impression. At Dartmouth we saw a lot of frat boys and athletes who didn’t seem particularly interested in academics or intellectualism—more into having fun. My friend’s daughter who goes to Middlebury is intensely focused on academics. Guess you’ll find both at every college.

Just curious - how you are so sure those “frat boys and athletes” you saw are not ALSO interested in academics or intellectualism?

Do you genuinely think that kids who have a lot of fun in college aren’t ALSO super committed to the substantive part?

For example, the kid we know at Dartmouth is brilliant, deep, and intellectual. If you were to talk with him for two minutes about his classes, internships, or ideas, it would be clear how substantive and thoughtful he is.

Though he was more introverted and maybe a little awkward in early high school, he’s now 6’3” and looks like a frat boy. Which he is. At Dartmouth.

The either-or stereotyping on this board amazes me sometimes. About both boys and girls, alike.

Kids can be good-looking and social and ALSO intellectual and committed to their academics.

Both things can co-exist. Our kid is looking for schools where they often do!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS graduated from Swarthmore. Sure, he worked hard, but I never heard/felt major stress from him. To those parents who think they see this INTENSITY when they tour, what are you seeing?

I asked about this on a Swarthmore thread. I visited with my DS this summer and maybe because we had a very outgoing and funny tour guide, my kid came away very enthusiastic. But everything I read here claims it is an "intense" school - how do we know that? what does that mean? How are we supposed to know if a school is too "intense" for any particular kid?

You can never know for sure.

People come away from tours with certain impressions, accurate or not. When visiting Dartmouth, we met several students, including our very accomplished tour guide, who politely said that academics were intense. They actually came out and said it. While it was never described quite as plainly elsewhere, we got the same vibe at Williams and Georgetown. We visited other colleges like Middlebury where we got the distinct impression that our tour guide was an airhead and lots of other students we met were there to have fun and not study - and the admissions person we heard did nothing to dispel that view.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS graduated from Swarthmore. Sure, he worked hard, but I never heard/felt major stress from him. To those parents who think they see this INTENSITY when they tour, what are you seeing?

I asked about this on a Swarthmore thread. I visited with my DS this summer and maybe because we had a very outgoing and funny tour guide, my kid came away very enthusiastic. But everything I read here claims it is an "intense" school - how do we know that? what does that mean? How are we supposed to know if a school is too "intense" for any particular kid?

You can never know for sure.

People come away from tours with certain impressions, accurate or not. When visiting Dartmouth, we met several students, including our very accomplished tour guide, who politely said that academics were intense. They actually came out and said it. While it was never described quite as plainly elsewhere, we got the same vibe at Williams and Georgetown. We visited other colleges like Middlebury where we got the distinct impression that our tour guide was an airhead and lots of other students we met were there to have fun and not study - and the admissions person we heard did nothing to dispel that view.

Interesting. We had the opposite impression. At Dartmouth we saw a lot of frat boys and athletes who didn’t seem particularly interested in academics or intellectualism—more into having fun. My friend’s daughter who goes to Middlebury is intensely focused on academics. Guess you’ll find both at every college.

Just curious - how you are so sure those “frat boys and athletes” you saw are not ALSO interested in academics or intellectualism?

Do you genuinely think that kids who have a lot of fun in college aren’t ALSO super committed to the substantive part?

For example, the kid we know at Dartmouth is brilliant, deep, and intellectual. If you were to talk with him for two minutes about his classes, internships, or ideas, it would be clear how substantive and thoughtful he is.

Though he was more introverted and maybe a little awkward in early high school, he’s now 6’3” and looks like a frat boy. Which he is. At Dartmouth.

The either-or stereotyping on this board amazes me sometimes. About both boys and girls, alike.

Kids can be good-looking and social and ALSO intellectual and committed to their academics.

Both things can co-exist. Our kid is looking for schools where they often do!

A lot of them are at top state universities- UVA, UMD, Michigan, Florida, UNC Chapel Hill.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS graduated from Swarthmore. Sure, he worked hard, but I never heard/felt major stress from him. To those parents who think they see this INTENSITY when they tour, what are you seeing?

I asked about this on a Swarthmore thread. I visited with my DS this summer and maybe because we had a very outgoing and funny tour guide, my kid came away very enthusiastic. But everything I read here claims it is an "intense" school - how do we know that? what does that mean? How are we supposed to know if a school is too "intense" for any particular kid?

You can never know for sure.

People come away from tours with certain impressions, accurate or not. When visiting Dartmouth, we met several students, including our very accomplished tour guide, who politely said that academics were intense. They actually came out and said it. While it was never described quite as plainly elsewhere, we got the same vibe at Williams and Georgetown. We visited other colleges like Middlebury where we got the distinct impression that our tour guide was an airhead and lots of other students we met were there to have fun and not study - and the admissions person we heard did nothing to dispel that view.

Interesting. We had the opposite impression. At Dartmouth we saw a lot of frat boys and athletes who didn’t seem particularly interested in academics or intellectualism—more into having fun. My friend’s daughter who goes to Middlebury is intensely focused on academics. Guess you’ll find both at every college.

Just curious - how you are so sure those “frat boys and athletes” you saw are not ALSO interested in academics or intellectualism?

Do you genuinely think that kids who have a lot of fun in college aren’t ALSO super committed to the substantive part?

For example, the kid we know at Dartmouth is brilliant, deep, and intellectual. If you were to talk with him for two minutes about his classes, internships, or ideas, it would be clear how substantive and thoughtful he is.

Though he was more introverted and maybe a little awkward in early high school, he’s now 6’3” and looks like a frat boy. Which he is. At Dartmouth.

The either-or stereotyping on this board amazes me sometimes. About both boys and girls, alike.

Kids can be good-looking and social and ALSO intellectual and committed to their academics.

Both things can co-exist. Our kid is looking for schools where they often do!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is some truth to the rumors of intensity. For example, can you imagine MIT/Caltech as being laid back when it comes to academics? But some students thrive under these conditions because they were under-challenged before and are finally at a place where they can thrive. The problem is when a kid who would not thrive when the work is this hard selects such a school anyway for prestige or whatever reason.

We’ve heard there’s a decedent segment of this at Cornell. The Ivy-or-die crowd who didn’t get in to the others and need to grind constantly to keep up (or because that’s who they are naturally.)

I wish Cornell chose to promote the more fun and social side of the school. The marketing and socials all feel so dreary - even the highlighted kids ECs seem heavy and academic in nature.

Our DC assumes that all these T50 schools are excellent academically, with all the opportunities for those who seek them out. What they’re trying to figure out instead is what life actually feels like on campus day-to-day for four years.