Anonymous
10/06/2025 16:51
Subject: starting to think downsizing to a townhouse not worth it
Anonymous wrote:I'm not in NYC or DC area, but we're in the same situation as OP. We can downsize but not down price/cost. THs and condos and 55+ neighborhoods all have association fees in addition to the price of the unit, which offset any savings for less lawncare, etc.
The only way we would do it is for location or less work and maintenance, not lower costs.
Yup! The added HOA fees are because someone else is doing all the work/managing it and paying directly for it. But it's damn nice to be in a Condo and not have to actually worry about the management of all things exterior. I have to manage what's inside my walls, my HVAC and appliances. The water heater is managed by condo, all exterior maintenance/window washing/etc is the HOA responsibility. As you age, it is really nice not to need to be concerned about those issues
Anonymous
10/06/2025 16:28
Subject: starting to think downsizing to a townhouse not worth it
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:who is doing it.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Other issue boomers can’t downsize as they need the big house as kids are not stepping up
I will be hosting thanks giving, Xmas, till my 80s
You don't have to, you know.
--Boomer with big house that doesn't do it anymore.
I went this week to a big wedding. The 32 year old daughter first of four kids to be married. The brunch day after wedding parents house. Like 100 people there. The wedding shower was there a few months ago. The parents do Easter, Thanksgiving there. All four kids live in a tiny apts in the city. Most have roomates.And where do you think Baby Showers, etc will happen. Parents have a 4,000 sf home with a 2,000 sf finished basement. In fact they only upsized 10 years ago and now everyone sleeps over. That wedding they had at least 15 people staying over. I myself had a tiny house 1,300 sf when kids little. I only upsized when my oldest was already 18. As crazy as it sounds you eed a much bigger house at 65 than 45 in todays world. My three kids 18-25 are all single and two oldest live in shoebox apts and dont own cars. Every holiday my house is full and everyone is staying over. I bet when spouses and grandkids come I can imagine holidays with 15-20 people staying over. I have 7 bedrooms and five bathrooms which I bet I will be using plus the sofas to sleep people on.
BTW I also own a 1,200 sf condo with two bedrooms I rent out as an investment last 13 years. We stayed over a few times when first got it and my wife was like I could never live it. At that time I had a 1,300 sf house so you think same size. But lack of garage or backyard or driveway made it feel tiny.
To answer your question, no one is doing what you are. The kids get partners/spouses and move into larger spaces (2 bdrm to 3-4 bdrm SFH). They have their own smaller gatherings and invite you and some close family and friends. They also go to their partner's family/friend holiday events. When they have children, they want to celebrate in their own homes, however modest. Sometimes a group goes out to a restaurant to celebrate.
Except my generation got married later in life and our kids are getting married later in life. Also it seems the "kids" dont want to buy and live in tiny shoebox studio apts by themselves or small two bedroom with a roomate. Then when married the two get a small apartment and then move on to a house once kids come. By time kids even our married and on their own parents are now often in their 70s. And other issue is right now today. Myself and my three kids live in four differenct states. They are all single and young. They come to my house as I have all their bedrooms still intact. They still have clothes in closet, store stuff here. I can imagine when I host a wedding for my first kid everyone is coming. I could easily do a cocktail party or brunch my house and have folks sleep over. People dont live near people anymore. When I host stuff now I have aunts, uncles my MIL etc all between 75-85 stay over. My kids too. And kids dont come for a night.
We also now have WFH which is another factor. When my kid from out of town comes for Xmas or Thanksgiving or July 4th week or whatever she always stays a week. She just works from home and she brings her dog. I also have another one with a cat. My wife has a dog. My house gets it all. And then you have them in college if they have friends visit they stay over.
Anonymous
10/06/2025 16:23
Subject: Re:starting to think downsizing to a townhouse not worth it
The parents do Easter, Thanksgiving there. All four kids live in a tiny apts in the city. Most have roomates.And where do you think Baby Showers, etc will happen. Parents have a 4,000 sf home
IDK, I have a different opinion. The parents should be using their money to *help* their four kids. Help their four kids financially, in a very significant way. Help them move out of apartments they have to share with roommates and help them buy homes/apartments of their own. Parents should downsize and pay it forward. IMO it's a horrible look to upsize in retirement.
Anonymous
10/06/2025 16:19
Subject: Re:starting to think downsizing to a townhouse not worth it
I am older GenX with a townhouse in a good area and already I hate my stairs. My elderly parents can’t come visit because of the stairs, and even I see myself taking a tumble some day. I want something on one floor, with dedicated indoor parking, and no maintenance. Two bed two bath at a minimum. Walking distance to a grocery store and other amenities. Public transit nice to have. So I will probably go to a full-service condo in the next ten years.
Mid-Gen X and I hate our townhouse. It is a “nicer” townhouse but the stairs are awful and it feels narrow and cramped. Once my teens are in college, I would love to move into a 2 or 3 bedroom condo in one of the grand old buildings in DC with plaster walls, hardwood floors, and radiator heat, but it doesn’t make sense tax wise.
Anonymous
10/06/2025 16:11
Subject: starting to think downsizing to a townhouse not worth it
Anonymous wrote:who is doing it.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Other issue boomers can’t downsize as they need the big house as kids are not stepping up
I will be hosting thanks giving, Xmas, till my 80s
You don't have to, you know.
--Boomer with big house that doesn't do it anymore.
I went this week to a big wedding. The 32 year old daughter first of four kids to be married. The brunch day after wedding parents house. Like 100 people there. The wedding shower was there a few months ago. The parents do Easter, Thanksgiving there. All four kids live in a tiny apts in the city. Most have roomates.And where do you think Baby Showers, etc will happen. Parents have a 4,000 sf home with a 2,000 sf finished basement. In fact they only upsized 10 years ago and now everyone sleeps over. That wedding they had at least 15 people staying over. I myself had a tiny house 1,300 sf when kids little. I only upsized when my oldest was already 18. As crazy as it sounds you eed a much bigger house at 65 than 45 in todays world. My three kids 18-25 are all single and two oldest live in shoebox apts and dont own cars. Every holiday my house is full and everyone is staying over. I bet when spouses and grandkids come I can imagine holidays with 15-20 people staying over. I have 7 bedrooms and five bathrooms which I bet I will be using plus the sofas to sleep people on.
BTW I also own a 1,200 sf condo with two bedrooms I rent out as an investment last 13 years. We stayed over a few times when first got it and my wife was like I could never live it. At that time I had a 1,300 sf house so you think same size. But lack of garage or backyard or driveway made it feel tiny.
My nephew and his wife just had their first child. They live in a 2 bd 2 ba sfh rental with a grassy backyard while looking for a home to buy in a HCOL near her folks. A few months ago, her sister threw a baby shower lunch in the backyard with a tent. There was plenty of food and drink, the little kids ran around, and everyone had a great time.
Anonymous
10/06/2025 16:04
Subject: starting to think downsizing to a townhouse not worth it
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My son moved back to our area and it seems many of his school friends also have relocated to be near their family in their 30s. Unless capital gains tax on the sale primary residences is reduced or eliminated, it makes absolutely no financial sense to downsize. We even recruited a buyers agent to look for us but the homes would need more work than our current one. So I guess we'll stay put and remodel our first floor to accommodate a new primary suite or add an elevator when the stairs become difficult.
Look my house I am only up around 500K if you count improvements so I could sell with no capital gains tax.
But here is my math. House now worth 1.9 million.
Realtor fee around $100,000
Closing costs around $25,000
Getting house ready to sell around $25,000
Moving with trucks etc around $10,000
Buying new place closing costs around $20,000
Minor things, decorating, buying new furniture small repairs, new house $20,000
So around $200,000 to move. However, if I do this at 70 avg life expectancy is 15 years or 85. Very long payback and also the smaller home will appreciate a lot less
Good points. And there is your time and energy to make it all happen.
Anonymous
10/06/2025 15:54
Subject: starting to think downsizing to a townhouse not worth it
Anonymous wrote:who is doing it.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Other issue boomers can’t downsize as they need the big house as kids are not stepping up
I will be hosting thanks giving, Xmas, till my 80s
You don't have to, you know.
--Boomer with big house that doesn't do it anymore.
I went this week to a big wedding. The 32 year old daughter first of four kids to be married. The brunch day after wedding parents house. Like 100 people there. The wedding shower was there a few months ago. The parents do Easter, Thanksgiving there. All four kids live in a tiny apts in the city. Most have roomates.And where do you think Baby Showers, etc will happen. Parents have a 4,000 sf home with a 2,000 sf finished basement. In fact they only upsized 10 years ago and now everyone sleeps over. That wedding they had at least 15 people staying over. I myself had a tiny house 1,300 sf when kids little. I only upsized when my oldest was already 18. As crazy as it sounds you eed a much bigger house at 65 than 45 in todays world. My three kids 18-25 are all single and two oldest live in shoebox apts and dont own cars. Every holiday my house is full and everyone is staying over. I bet when spouses and grandkids come I can imagine holidays with 15-20 people staying over. I have 7 bedrooms and five bathrooms which I bet I will be using plus the sofas to sleep people on.
BTW I also own a 1,200 sf condo with two bedrooms I rent out as an investment last 13 years. We stayed over a few times when first got it and my wife was like I could never live it. At that time I had a 1,300 sf house so you think same size. But lack of garage or backyard or driveway made it feel tiny.
To answer your question, no one is doing what you are. The kids get partners/spouses and move into larger spaces (2 bdrm to 3-4 bdrm SFH). They have their own smaller gatherings and invite you and some close family and friends. They also go to their partner's family/friend holiday events. When they have children, they want to celebrate in their own homes, however modest. Sometimes a group goes out to a restaurant to celebrate.
Anonymous
10/06/2025 15:35
Subject: starting to think downsizing to a townhouse not worth it
Put a kitchenette in your house and rent it out to a young professional
Anonymous
10/06/2025 15:34
Subject: starting to think downsizing to a townhouse not worth it
At your age if it has an elevator it might be worth it. Stairs will only get more challenging for you.
Anonymous
10/06/2025 15:27
Subject: starting to think downsizing to a townhouse not worth it
My parents would agree with you. But now they are 80 living in a house with too much space and stairs. I plan to downsize; there is a lot more to it for me than dollar per square foot.
Anonymous
10/06/2025 15:24
Subject: starting to think downsizing to a townhouse not worth it
I would only downsize to something without stairs
Anonymous
10/06/2025 14:28
Subject: starting to think downsizing to a townhouse not worth it
Anonymous wrote:My son moved back to our area and it seems many of his school friends also have relocated to be near their family in their 30s. Unless capital gains tax on the sale primary residences is reduced or eliminated, it makes absolutely no financial sense to downsize. We even recruited a buyers agent to look for us but the homes would need more work than our current one. So I guess we'll stay put and remodel our first floor to accommodate a new primary suite or add an elevator when the stairs become difficult.
Look my house I am only up around 500K if you count improvements so I could sell with no capital gains tax.
But here is my math. House now worth 1.9 million.
Realtor fee around $100,000
Closing costs around $25,000
Getting house ready to sell around $25,000
Moving with trucks etc around $10,000
Buying new place closing costs around $20,000
Minor things, decorating, buying new furniture small repairs, new house $20,000
So around $200,000 to move. However, if I do this at 70 avg life expectancy is 15 years or 85. Very long payback and also the smaller home will appreciate a lot less
Anonymous
10/06/2025 14:21
Subject: starting to think downsizing to a townhouse not worth it
who is doing it.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Other issue boomers can’t downsize as they need the big house as kids are not stepping up
I will be hosting thanks giving, Xmas, till my 80s
You don't have to, you know.
--Boomer with big house that doesn't do it anymore.
I went this week to a big wedding. The 32 year old daughter first of four kids to be married. The brunch day after wedding parents house. Like 100 people there. The wedding shower was there a few months ago. The parents do Easter, Thanksgiving there. All four kids live in a tiny apts in the city. Most have roomates.And where do you think Baby Showers, etc will happen. Parents have a 4,000 sf home with a 2,000 sf finished basement. In fact they only upsized 10 years ago and now everyone sleeps over. That wedding they had at least 15 people staying over. I myself had a tiny house 1,300 sf when kids little. I only upsized when my oldest was already 18. As crazy as it sounds you eed a much bigger house at 65 than 45 in todays world. My three kids 18-25 are all single and two oldest live in shoebox apts and dont own cars. Every holiday my house is full and everyone is staying over. I bet when spouses and grandkids come I can imagine holidays with 15-20 people staying over. I have 7 bedrooms and five bathrooms which I bet I will be using plus the sofas to sleep people on.
BTW I also own a 1,200 sf condo with two bedrooms I rent out as an investment last 13 years. We stayed over a few times when first got it and my wife was like I could never live it. At that time I had a 1,300 sf house so you think same size. But lack of garage or backyard or driveway made it feel tiny.
Anonymous
10/06/2025 14:18
Subject: starting to think downsizing to a townhouse not worth it
Anonymous wrote:My three bedroom, 2.5 bath, 2-car garage townhouse in a DC suburb has a walk score of 99, is a 5-minute walk from metro, and has tons of restaurants and four major grocery stores within a few blocks. I'll take that over a further out SFH anyday.
Your townhouse is the same size as a SFH. I'd downsize to that.
Anonymous
10/06/2025 14:07
Subject: starting to think downsizing to a townhouse not worth it
My son moved back to our area and it seems many of his school friends also have relocated to be near their family in their 30s. Unless capital gains tax on the sale primary residences is reduced or eliminated, it makes absolutely no financial sense to downsize. We even recruited a buyers agent to look for us but the homes would need more work than our current one. So I guess we'll stay put and remodel our first floor to accommodate a new primary suite or add an elevator when the stairs become difficult.