Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wake up and smell the coffee. He’s having an affair.

I actually think this too. It’s the no FaceTiming for me. Seems like he’s built a wall between ‘family’ and ‘other’ and never the two shall meet.

Yes, i’ve travelled a lot and ALWAYS found 10 minutes to sneak away to FaceTime and say hi/goodnight to my kids. Every day.

Regarding the gifts, I’d say I got them something about 50% of the time when they were in elementary.

As a betrayed spouse myself, I want to BEG you not to ignore that this is your gut feeling. It’s telling you this for a reason. Please investigate it. I know you’re probably making excuses, because you want anything else to be true instead, but I beg you, please believe yourself.

NP and my DH’s job is his mistress. It gives him everything he wants: external validation, constant dopamine, an excuse to step out of tedious family life, etc. He chooses it over everything.

Anonymous wrote:OP, reading your responses, there's a lot more going on here than whether your DH brings stuff home for your kid.

You feel like he is shirking his responsibility to your family, and that includes you. You need to address this not as a specific thing about how he interacts with your kid on business trips, but about how his business travel (and likely other things) is impacting your perception of his commitment to your family, including your marriage.

This situation will get worse if you only address the symptom, your not liking how he interacts with your DD while he's traveling. I have a close friend who is on the brink of divorce, because after years of fights about his work travel they never addressed the real issue. His wife feels neglected and has lost trust that he cares. (FWIW, in her place I would too.) She also accused him of having an affair, which he did not (I know this for sure)...but now he will admit that for a decade+ he did have a mistress, his job. It's a really awful and painful situation to watch unfold, and you don't want to get there.

How? How do you know this for sure?

A paper coaster.

Cocktail napkin, stirrer, piece of notepaper, hotel postcard. These are usually in the room.

OP, reading your responses, there's a lot more going on here than whether your DH brings stuff home for your kid.

You feel like he is shirking his responsibility to your family, and that includes you. You need to address this not as a specific thing about how he interacts with your kid on business trips, but about how his business travel (and likely other things) is impacting your perception of his commitment to your family, including your marriage.

This situation will get worse if you only address the symptom, your not liking how he interacts with your DD while he's traveling. I have a close friend who is on the brink of divorce, because after years of fights about his work travel they never addressed the real issue. His wife feels neglected and has lost trust that he cares. (FWIW, in her place I would too.) She also accused him of having an affair, which he did not (I know this for sure)...but now he will admit that for a decade+ he did have a mistress, his job. It's a really awful and painful situation to watch unfold, and you don't want to get there.