Anonymous
09/08/2025 07:08
Subject: Women lying/ gate keeping around where clothes are from
Anonymous wrote:I like luxury designers. I usually buy on consignment or from outlets, but it's still usually a lot more than most people pay for clothes.
I recently wore a Saint Laurent jacket for a public speaking event. It was ~$2K (so discounted from retail, but well above even higher end department store brands). I don't wear clothes with logos, so most people don't know what I pay to get the look I like. A colleague kept asking me wear I got it and for the link to buy it. I wouldn't care at all if she bought it, but it was a little uncomfortable explaining to her that it wasn't something she could just order.
I just prefer not to talk about the cost of my clothes at all, and it's unavoidable if I share brands or where I bought them.
For this, I'd say Saint Laurent and leave it at that. By the time they try to find it, I would probably be long gone. Hopefully, they would not email to ask...lol
Anonymous
09/08/2025 07:08
Subject: Re:Women lying/ gate keeping around where clothes are from
Anonymous wrote:Why ask if you can Google? They may have bought the dress via Poshmark or a thrift store and don't want to tell you...
It’s for conversation. Not everything is transactional.
Anonymous
09/08/2025 07:04
Subject: Women lying/ gate keeping around where clothes are from
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I hate when people try to get specific like this. Just offer a generic compliment and move on. Don't grill me about where I shop if I don't offer it up like "Thanks it's from TJMaxx!"
Hahaha! So true. Most people don't ask specific questions. I'm from the midwest and have historically just been direct when people do ask, because I have no problem with it... "Oh, I got in on sale at Nordstrom last month. Thanks!" One person actually told me not to say that I got it on sale - apparently that is vulgar in some circles. In my UMC Midwestern culture sales/good deals are bragging rights - quite the opposite.
This is partly why I saw I don't remember in certain situations.
Anonymous
09/08/2025 07:02
Subject: Re:Women lying/ gate keeping around where clothes are from
Anonymous wrote:I'm the opposite. I always share where I get stuff from bc honestly it's mostly TJMaxx, Old Navy, Loft or Nordstrom Rack. But if I asked someone and they didn't answer I would just shrug my shoulders and keep moving on with life. I suggest you do the same.
+1
But I will admit the shops mentioned above. For whatever reason, I'm embarrassed about my Amazon shopping and will avoid the question .
Anonymous
09/08/2025 07:02
Subject: Re:Women lying/ gate keeping around where clothes are from
Why ask if you can Google? They may have bought the dress via Poshmark or a thrift store and don't want to tell you...
Anonymous
09/08/2025 07:01
Subject: Women lying/ gate keeping around where clothes are from
I honestly just forget brands. I’ll be like I don’t remember, I got it at Nordstrom. I buy what I like without attention to brand.
Anonymous
09/08/2025 07:00
Subject: Women lying/ gate keeping around where clothes are from
I do it when I don't want to admit I bought it on Amazon.
Anonymous
09/08/2025 06:56
Subject: Women lying/ gate keeping around where clothes are from
Anonymous wrote:Even on this thread, people are chiming in to talk about how they love to thrift/shop at Target and tell people about it and the people who bought expensive things are saying the question makes them feel exposed and invaded. So there you go.
This is what it boils down to - some people are insecure about the decisions they make in life, even as inconsequential as where to buy clothes, and they are reluctant to share them.
Anonymous
09/07/2025 22:45
Subject: Women lying/ gate keeping around where clothes are from
I like luxury designers. I usually buy on consignment or from outlets, but it's still usually a lot more than most people pay for clothes.
I recently wore a Saint Laurent jacket for a public speaking event. It was ~$2K (so discounted from retail, but well above even higher end department store brands). I don't wear clothes with logos, so most people don't know what I pay to get the look I like. A colleague kept asking me wear I got it and for the link to buy it. I wouldn't care at all if she bought it, but it was a little uncomfortable explaining to her that it wasn't something she could just order.
I just prefer not to talk about the cost of my clothes at all, and it's unavoidable if I share brands or where I bought them.
I recently wore a Saint Laurent jacket for a public speaking event. It was ~$2K (so discounted from retail, but well above even higher end department store brands). I don't wear clothes with logos, so most people don't know what I pay to get the look I like. A colleague kept asking me wear I got it and for the link to buy it. I wouldn't care at all if she bought it, but it was a little uncomfortable explaining to her that it wasn't something she could just order.
I just prefer not to talk about the cost of my clothes at all, and it's unavoidable if I share brands or where I bought them.
Anonymous
09/07/2025 22:40
Subject: Women lying/ gate keeping around where clothes are from
Yes. Pretend you don't look up what your friends clothes cost. Like you don't look up their cars or homes.
Anonymous
09/07/2025 22:34
Subject: Women lying/ gate keeping around where clothes are from
Next time sneak a photo and then do a google photo search for it.
Anonymous
09/07/2025 22:30
Subject: Women lying/ gate keeping around where clothes are from
Anonymous wrote:The people who ask you where you got something when you don’t know them are the same people who will judge you so hard, sometimes right to your face. Especially if it was expensive.
If I say “Zimmerman” or whatever that woman is going to be like “oh my god, I could never spend that much on a dress” or like “I think they have the same thing at tj maxx.”
Asking where a dress is from is the same thing as asking how much it cost and that’s an invasive question so people dodge it.
It’s Zimmermann with a double n. Asking where a dress is from is not an “invasive” question, even if the dress were handmade by Coco herself.
Anonymous
09/07/2025 21:56
Subject: Women lying/ gate keeping around where clothes are from
OP, why do you expect people to tell you where they buy their clothes? It sounds like you don't know these women at all. I think it's a little weird to ask that question if someone you don't know because, as people have pointed out, there are class implications. They don't know why you are asking. It feels weird.
My friends and I ask stuff like that all the time and no one "gate keeps." We will send links! But I wouldn't ask someone I didn't know, I'd just tell them I liked their outfit and then move on. It's not my business where a total stranger gets her clothes.
My friends and I ask stuff like that all the time and no one "gate keeps." We will send links! But I wouldn't ask someone I didn't know, I'd just tell them I liked their outfit and then move on. It's not my business where a total stranger gets her clothes.
Anonymous
09/07/2025 21:56
Subject: Women lying/ gate keeping around where clothes are from
Sometimes I don’t like to say where my clothes are from because of the prices…
Anonymous
09/07/2025 21:46
Subject: Women lying/ gate keeping around where clothes are from
Even on this thread, people are chiming in to talk about how they love to thrift/shop at Target and tell people about it and the people who bought expensive things are saying the question makes them feel exposed and invaded. So there you go.