Anonymous wrote:118 pounds at 5'0 is a normal BMI for a woman.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a fellow UVA alumna. It doesn’t matter in dating. Not for women. Men who want kids often want to have them with women under 35 and will set their filters accordingly. Then men you want likely aren’t seeing your profile. I’m very sorry.

This. I’m not sure that marriage with kids is really a reasonable requirement for a 38 year old woman. It’s feasible, but I don’t know that it should still be a “must have” in your life. It sets you up to rush into something.

Anonymous wrote:Op, I would add a pic with a group of girl friends your age,

Anonymous wrote:But OP is not attracted to short men. OP, keep your standards. I agree with removing the picture with your niece. Do NOT increase the age, you don't want kids with someone who is almost 60.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're short and fat. And you won't date short men. And the tall men can do waaaaay better. I can't believe you didn't figure this out on your own.

OP is slim. The rest is true.

OP is not slim. She is average, which is fine. Men looking for very thin women won’t be interested.

Anonymous wrote:I’m a fellow UVA alumna. It doesn’t matter in dating. Not for women. Men who want kids often want to have them with women under 35 and will set their filters accordingly. Then men you want likely aren’t seeing your profile. I’m very sorry.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're 5'0 and you want a man at least 5'9? Now you know how short men feel when they never get picked.

About 57% of the men in the US are at least 5'9", but when you add in your other reuqirements (education), that % will go down a lot. Only about 36% of men in their 30s' in the US have a college degree.. so those 2 requirements alone reduces you to about 20% of the male dating pool.

Oh and by comparison, only 6% of women in the US are 5'0" or shorter.

So.. you're in the bottom 6% height-wise, and searching for a man who is stastically rare.

I thought men like short women?

Hahhah.. keep telling yourself that. Any man who is marriage-minded will be thinking does he want his kid to be the short kid at school and made fun of, espcially if it's a boy. Imagine if he grows up and is a mere 5'7. That' below your requirements for example.

Yes, OP would be very wrong if she thinks men don’t select women by height. For marriage and kids men absolutely try to avoid extremely short genes for the kids. If a woman is 5’5 or 5’8 that won’t matter. But any outliers like a 5’ or a 6’2 woman would have hard time finding a husband.

I know because men told me that when I was dating for marriage in my 20s.

Agreed, several men confided in me that they wanted tall children and hence were looking for tall wives.

Anonymous wrote:I’m a fellow UVA alumna. It doesn’t matter in dating. Not for women. Men who want kids often want to have them with women under 35 and will set their filters accordingly. Then men you want likely aren’t seeing your profile. I’m very sorry.

As the pp said, “ so those 2 requirements alone reduces you to about 20% of the male dating pool.” What the pp didn’t drive home is that the mating pool isn’t the same as it was in your twenties.

Lots of the great catches are in their first and only marriage. They are not in the dating pool.

https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/06/28/a-record-high-share-of-40-year-olds-in-the-us-have-never-been-married/

You’re down to about 25% of the original dating pool who were never married, plus the guys who got divorced. And that’s likely skewed towards undesirable men. Your STBXH is in that pool. So are other women’s exes. They’ll all claim that their ex wives were at fault so they can snag a new spouse. They’ll be on their best behavior for the first couple dates.

You can improve your odds by being open to men who are less handsome, shorter, and make less money. They’ve got a clear explanation for why they’re still single. That tall, hot guy who’s single at 42? You need to really dig into why he’s single. I’m not saying it’s impossible for you to meet the man of your dreams. I’m laying out the realities, based on my experience in finding a DH. I was 5’9” and was willing to date shorter, less educated men than you. It’s okay to have standards, but ask yourself if it would be better to be alone than with a guy who is 5’7”. Either answer is fine. Just don’t have these sky-high standards and then complain that you’re not getting matches.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ditch photo with niece
Set age filter to 55
Reduce height requirement

Uh, no. You are better off single forever than taking on a man 17 years older than you. If you really want to have kids, having them as a true single mom is way better than having little kids plus an elderly husband to care for.

OP, it's natural that you feel your biological clock ticking, but remember that no husband is sooooooo much better than a bad husband.

Anonymous wrote:All the apps, or just one? Sometimes you can be randomly shadow banned for whatever reason and won’t show up in anyone’s queue. This happened to an attractive friend in her 20’s on Tinder when she created a new account. Skinny conventionally attractive and no matches after a day of swiping

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're 5'0 and you want a man at least 5'9? Now you know how short men feel when they never get picked.

About 57% of the men in the US are at least 5'9", but when you add in your other reuqirements (education), that % will go down a lot. Only about 36% of men in their 30s' in the US have a college degree.. so those 2 requirements alone reduces you to about 20% of the male dating pool.

Oh and by comparison, only 6% of women in the US are 5'0" or shorter.

So.. you're in the bottom 6% height-wise, and searching for a man who is stastically rare.

I thought men like short women?

Hahhah.. keep telling yourself that. Any man who is marriage-minded will be thinking does he want his kid to be the short kid at school and made fun of, espcially if it's a boy. Imagine if he grows up and is a mere 5'7. That' below your requirements for example.

Yes, OP would be very wrong if she thinks men don’t select women by height. For marriage and kids men absolutely try to avoid extremely short genes for the kids. If a woman is 5’5 or 5’8 that won’t matter. But any outliers like a 5’ or a 6’2 woman would have hard time finding a husband.

I know because men told me that when I was dating for marriage in my 20s.

Agreed, several men confided in me that they wanted tall children and hence were looking for tall wives.

This particular applies to average height men between 5’9-6’ They go crazy wanting to date for 5’7-5’10 women I had to beat them off with a stick