Anonymous wrote:You and your ex both work, and you work a difficult schedule. Right? If you children are young, that means childcare expenses could be $3000+ a month ALONE. Since you need childcare to also work, splitting that seems more than reasonable. Then $200 for food and clothes is barely getting by.

You have a deal dude.

No. That’s a very bad deal. She doesn’t have full custody.
This is a 40/60 joint custody (3 days for OP and 4 days for his ex)
He is already paying for almost half of the childcare expenses.
As the lower income parent, there is no way that he should pay her $1700.
Depending on how much more she makes, she may even be the one who would pay him the difference.

Anonymous wrote:My suggestion is to be nice to your ex and don't show that you are struggling. Now quietly get a better job where you make more money and don't tell her about it. The extra money you will be making save it.

When she finds out and files for an adjustment she may get arrears. You will also look like you’re trying to get out of supporting your kids— which, of course, you are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You and your ex both work, and you work a difficult schedule. Right? If you children are young, that means childcare expenses could be $3000+ a month ALONE. Since you need childcare to also work, splitting that seems more than reasonable. Then $200 for food and clothes is barely getting by.

You have a deal dude.

This. $1700 is low and if you try to get it re-evaluated you might end up paying more.

I did some quick calculating based on his monthly take home pay. OP probably takes home around $5500. Take out child support OP has $3800 left for everything rent food transportation etc.

It’s insane.

The reality is that it’s hard to have 2 kids on a HHI of $108K in NY. Daycare is expensive, insurance is expensive, food is expensive.

If OP’s ex is needing that money to pay for childcare and insurance then they are also likely in an insanely tight situation.

Do a consultation with a NY lawyer. Will cost a few hundred dollars but will be well worth it it sounds like.

My suggestion is to be nice to your ex and don't show that you are struggling. Now quietly get a better job where you make more money and don't tell her about it. The extra money you will be making save it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex got the deal of the century. He made $350K but at the time of the agreement I made $150K. He pays $1900/month. I now make $250K but but he makes like $600K and still pays $1900.

Good for him

😂

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have extraordinary expenses? What are they?

Rent, car payment, credit card payment, food, gas, etc. they add up when $1700 is taken out before you even pay your own bills.

Wouldn't you paying more expenses for the kids if they lived with you? What would you do then? Reduce your own expenses...

Men like to have ‘50 % custody’ for child support but then still have the ex take care of everything for the kids

This.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have extraordinary expenses? What are they?

Rent, car payment, credit card payment, food, gas, etc. they add up when $1700 is taken out before you even pay your own bills.

Wouldn't you paying more expenses for the kids if they lived with you? What would you do then? Reduce your own expenses...

Men like to have ‘50 % custody’ for child support but then still have the ex take care of everything for the kids

Anonymous wrote:My ex got the deal of the century. He made $350K but at the time of the agreement I made $150K. He pays $1900/month. I now make $250K but but he makes like $600K and still pays $1900.

Good for him

In VA child support is less generous thank in NY

Anonymous wrote:My ex got the deal of the century. He made $350K but at the time of the agreement I made $150K. He pays $1900/month. I now make $250K but but he makes like $600K and still pays $1900.

If you were in NY he wouldn't have gotten this deal.

My ex got the deal of the century. He made $350K but at the time of the agreement I made $150K. He pays $1900/month. I now make $250K but but he makes like $600K and still pays $1900.

My ex pays over $7k a month for 3 kids, so seems like you’re getting a pretty good deal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op this is stupid. Internet advice is not always true. Consult with a lawyer to REALLY find out if your payment can be reduced.

I have a friend who did this, also in NY, the judge bench slapped him and his atty and he ended up paying more, since he’d has a slight raise since the order was issued.

What is a lawyer going to do other than take his money. OP is being light on details, for two kids that’s not a lot of menu, especially if mom pays for health insurance and child care.

Also in my experience mediators are kind of anti woman anyway, so mom might actually end up getting more if lawyer and judge get involved.

Can you say more about that? I have observed this anecdotally but it was only secondhand reports in 2 divorces friends went through.

Oh wow! This was my experience too. We walked away from mediation and did significantly better in court.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You and your ex both work, and you work a difficult schedule. Right? If you children are young, that means childcare expenses could be $3000+ a month ALONE. Since you need childcare to also work, splitting that seems more than reasonable. Then $200 for food and clothes is barely getting by.

You have a deal dude.

This. $1700 is low and if you try to get it re-evaluated you might end up paying more.

I did some quick calculating based on his monthly take home pay. OP probably takes home around $5500. Take out child support OP has $3800 left for everything rent food transportation etc.

Its insane.