Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh bother. Because we can always sell the family estate if we’re in a pinch.

I refuse to believe people out there actually talk like this

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who is always talking about how expensive everything is. But, even when both our families does the same thing, her costs are always really high, because she likes luxury.

We both did 4 day Disney trip with 2 kids each. We went separately. She took off one day, so that they could travel and reach in a leisurely manner, and then once in the hotel, they could rest up the next day. DH and I, made that drive in one day, did not take time off from work, did not stop anywhere and reached the hotel late at night.

She booked the hotel inside disney. Ours was a residence inn outside disney. We ate breakfast at the hotel, packed our snacks and lunch, came back for dinner at the hotel and a nap, went back again for fireworks. Their family ate every meal at disney. And sorry, but not sorry, meals at Disney is super duper expensive and extremely basic.

They bought every little disney momento that they could. I had already bought disney toys from other sources that I gave to the kids. She was spending hundreds of dollars more each day than what we were spending.

I don't have issues with spending money on a vacation and the finer things of life - but only if you can afford it. If you are not saving for the big expenditures that will come later in life, then you have to rein in your spending. DH and I, have a target of how much we have to save for retirement, college, kids weddings etc. We first pay in those accounts.

But can you friend afford to blow money? Good on you for your frugaling.

Well, they make what is good money, but then they also have major lifestyle creep (Disney is one small example). What they think is wealthy is just normal DMV UMC. We make the same amount but we will look at cutting costs wherever we can. For example, we have decent cars that we keep for many years, they lease their cars and change it every 3 years. They live in a house that costs 3x what it costs for our SFH. They spend enormous amounts for multiple vacations going to luxury resorts etc. If they earn 300k, they spend 290k. They are generous and they give to others too, but it is just that they will supersize everything. If they go to starbucks, they do not stop at one coffee, they want to have an assortment of baked goods, just because.

i think they feel very happy when they treat themselves. they do not like the concept of saving because this may make them feel poor - like they are being careful with their money. They think that rich and happy people live lavishly, so they too do that. But the money stress is constant with them. A sudden expense of a few hundred will get them very bothered.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's the real reason for spending more than you have?

Insecurity. People worry to much about what other people think.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who is always talking about how expensive everything is. But, even when both our families does the same thing, her costs are always really high, because she likes luxury.

We both did 4 day Disney trip with 2 kids each. We went separately. She took off one day, so that they could travel and reach in a leisurely manner, and then once in the hotel, they could rest up the next day. DH and I, made that drive in one day, did not take time off from work, did not stop anywhere and reached the hotel late at night.

She booked the hotel inside disney. Ours was a residence inn outside disney. We ate breakfast at the hotel, packed our snacks and lunch, came back for dinner at the hotel and a nap, went back again for fireworks. Their family ate every meal at disney. And sorry, but not sorry, meals at Disney is super duper expensive and extremely basic.

They bought every little disney momento that they could. I had already bought disney toys from other sources that I gave to the kids. She was spending hundreds of dollars more each day than what we were spending.

I don't have issues with spending money on a vacation and the finer things of life - but only if you can afford it. If you are not saving for the big expenditures that will come later in life, then you have to rein in your spending. DH and I, have a target of how much we have to save for retirement, college, kids weddings etc. We first pay in those accounts.

But can you friend afford to blow money? Good on you for your frugaling.

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who is always talking about how expensive everything is. But, even when both our families does the same thing, her costs are always really high, because she likes luxury.

We both did 4 day Disney trip with 2 kids each. We went separately. She took off one day, so that they could travel and reach in a leisurely manner, and then once in the hotel, they could rest up the next day. DH and I, made that drive in one day, did not take time off from work, did not stop anywhere and reached the hotel late at night.

She booked the hotel inside disney. Ours was a residence inn outside disney. We ate breakfast at the hotel, packed our snacks and lunch, came back for dinner at the hotel and a nap, went back again for fireworks. Their family ate every meal at disney. And sorry, but not sorry, meals at Disney is super duper expensive and extremely basic.

They bought every little disney momento that they could. I had already bought disney toys from other sources that I gave to the kids. She was spending hundreds of dollars more each day than what we were spending.

I don't have issues with spending money on a vacation and the finer things of life - but only if you can afford it. If you are not saving for the big expenditures that will come later in life, then you have to rein in your spending. DH and I, have a target of how much we have to save for retirement, college, kids weddings etc. We first pay in those accounts.

Anonymous wrote:Oh bother. Because we can always sell the family estate if we’re in a pinch.

Anonymous wrote:I recently tried to help my single mom union working friend with her budget/bills. She barely makes enough monthly to pay for the essentials. Her ex is mostly deadbeat- she has tried to get her CS with little luck as he works only side cash jobs.

$6000 Net Income (with overtime)
(2700) mortgage, taxes, home insurance (on small
( 950) gas, electric, water, cable, cell phone
(680) car pmt for Honda CRV
(250) car insurance for her and 2 teens
(900) groceries & house supplies
(600) misc kid sports, activities, school fees, etc., oil changes

She had 0 left for anything fun or unexpected. No entertainment, medical bills, car repair. She lives in constant fear and stress

I finally get and empathize with how the majority of America lives. Truly paycheck to paycheck.

Anonymous wrote:Mmm we are just fine. My husband saved over 5 million by the time he was 30...twenty years ago.

Anonymous wrote:We bring home about $10,000/month. That's after taxes, deductions for insurance, etc. We spend about

$1000/Month on 529
$1000/Month on Utilities: Water, Trash, Sewer, Electric, Gas, Cable/Streaming, Cell Phones
$1000/Month averaged for property and car taxes
$600/Month on Insurances (Auto, Homeowners, Life, Umbrella, Jewelry, Renters for son)
$400/Month for "Services": Lawn, Pest, House Cleaning, AAA, etc.
$800/Month Averaged from prior years on Home Goods, Home repairs, Car repairs, car services, medical services, medications
$200/month on other memberships, and junk: Costco membership, PS4, Xbox, Sirius XM, club memberships, cloud storage, etc etc
$1600/Month on Groceries
$1500/Month on Entertainment/Needs (Kids eating out (me and the wife RARELY do...anything), movies, bowling, haircuts, nails, clothes)
$250/Month on Gas for vehicles

This comes to $8300 so we have about $1700 left to "save" for a rainy day, vacations, etc. but it usually gets gobbled up by kids sports, trips out of town for sports (hotels, flights, etc), gifts (birthday, graduation, mother's day, father's day, etc), a concert once in awhile, Prom, homecoming, Xmas presents, anniversary, etc.

This year we did No family vacations, nor last year because it just goes to a million small things.

And notice there is no mortgage or car payments. Thank god I paid off the mortgage a few year ago when the kids were small because the money just gets blown! My wife wants to draw on retirement accounts so we can do vacations instead of reducing spending!!!!